Sunday, October 31, 2010

Don't Waste Your Cheats


I love this bit of bullshit from Redbook Magazine, which has an online gallery of "Healthy Halloween Candy" selected by Lisa Lillien of "Hungry Girl" fame. According to Redbook: "You can get through October without going up a costume size! Just follow Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien's healthy advice."

Yes, let's. According to Lillien, the "healthiest" Halloween candies include:

3 Musketeers Minis
(24 calories, less than 1g fat)
"You'll save calories if you go for chocolates with light and airy insides instead of denser fillings."

Fun-size Lemonheads
(50 calories, 0g fat for 10 pieces)
"Most fruit-flavored hard candies have reasonable calorie counts. But tart ones take longer to eat!"

York Peppermint Pattie
(140 calories, 2.5g fat)
"Light and airy filling means fewer calories; plus, intense mint and dark-chocolate flavors really satisfy."

Peeps Pumpkins
(16 calories, 0g fat)
"Fluffy, sweet, and low-cal? Yes please! Six of these babies still come in under 100 calories."

Hey, Hungry Girl -- perhaps you're hungry because YOU'RE STARVING YOUR BODY OF CALORIES WHILE INDISCRIMINATELY JACKING UP YOUR SUGAR INTAKE.

If you're somebody who has trouble laying off the Halloween candy, consider this: Just about everything that people hand out on Halloween night is utter crap. I don't just mean that it's bad for you -- I mean it doesn't look, smell, or taste good. I can understand wanting to sample a nibble or two of Amedei chocolate from Tuscany. But a stale marshmallow crusted with fluorescent orange sugar from the discount aisle at Walgreens? Or chalky-looking milk chocolate-covered "SUGAR, CORN SYRUP, HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL OIL AND/OR PALM OIL"?

It ain't worth it, people. Don't waste your cheats on shit.

And on that note, Happy Halloween!

Cold Brewed Coffee

Although I've tried curbing my caffeine intake, I can't stop guzzling cold-brewed coffee. It's different from just regular old hot coffee that's been cooled, you know. As Cindy Price of the New York Times wrote a while back:
Though it pains me to admit, the difference was considerable. Without the bitterness produced by hot water, the cold-brewed coffee had hints of chocolate, even caramel. I dropped my sugar packet — no need for it. The best brews hardly need cream. It really is the kind of thing a gentleman might spend five days in hot-coffee solitary confinement for.
Most days I’m too lazy to hunt down the elusive cold-brewed cup. But recently I discovered an interesting little fact. Cold-brewed coffee is actually dirt simple to make at home. Online, you’ll find a wealth of forums arguing for this bean or that, bottled water over tap, the 24-hour versus the 12-hour soak. You can even buy the Toddy cold-brew coffee system for about $30.
CHOW recently posted a short video teaching you to cold-brew your coffee using a Toddy. But if you already have a French press at home, you can cold brew your coffee the way my sister-in-law taught me. (And even if you don't, a 4-cup Bodum Chambord is the same price as a Toddy, and it's more versatile.)

Cold-brewing with a French press is super-simple:


Step One: Pull out your French press and a 1/2 cup measuring cup.


Step Two: Put a 1/2 cup of coarse-ground coffee into your French press.


Step Three: Fill it up with cold water. Leave an inch of space at the top, dummy.


Step Four: Put the top on. Let it sit overnight (or around 12 hours). Then depress the plunger to filter out the grounds.


Step Five: Pour some out and drink it -- with or without ice. You can also dilute it with water, but I like my coffee concentrated. It's not harsh or bitter. I used to take my coffee with several packets of sweetener to counter the bitterness, but no more -- there's no need. If you're a coffee junkie but looking to wean yourself off sugar or artificial sweeteners, you might want to give cold-brewed coffee a shot.

Friday, October 29, 2010

67 Years Young

This guy rocks. The weighted sit-up / squat / push-up / burpee / overhead press thing he does at the end of the video looks awesome -- can't wait to try it.



(Source: Conditioning Research)

Killer Caffeine


I don't know if my coffee consumption is going to kill me, but from recent news reports, it certainly appears that caffeine has homicidal tendencies.

You want examples?
On the plus side, thanks to the Death by Caffeine Calculator, I now know that it'll take 277 cans of Coke Zero to kill me.

Put That Cookie Down

It's a health hazard.

Friday's Workout

The strangest thing about getting up to exercise and finishing my workout before the break of dawn? By the end of the day, I've mostly forgotten what happened in my early-morning CrossFit class. The details get hazy, as if everything at the gym actually occurred in a dream. As a result, it sometimes feels like I've gone days between workouts.

I'm looking forward to forgetting about today's session.


Strength Skill:
  • Presses (3 sets of 5, followed by 3 sets of 3)
We're not talking about push-presses. No bending of the knees, no hip drive, no jerking the barbell -- just strict muscle presses, engaging the lats and core to force the bar overhead. A pure upper-body exercise -- one that's vastly superior to the bench press. As Mark Rippetoe points out, unlike the bench press:
Pressing a bar overhead develops core strength, and somehow manages to do so without a Swiss ball. Since the kinetic chain -- the parts of the body involved in the transmission of force from the places where it is generated to the places where it is applied -- in the press starts at the ground and ends at the hands, everything in between these two points gets worked, one way or another. This includes pretty much everything. Specifically, the trunk and hip muscles have to stabilize the body while the force being generated by the arms and shoulders gets transmitted between the bar and the floor. This can get really hard when the weight gets up close to 1RM [1-rep max], and heavy presses require and develop a thick set of abs and obliques.
Sadly, I don't have a "thick set of abs and obliques" (yet?), and my current 1RM is a puny 110 pounds. (I ought to be able to go heavier, given that I don't seem to have any trouble with handstand push-ups.) Nonetheless, I gave it all I got, and managed to accrue a ton of time under tension -- mostly because I wasn't able to quickly power the bar up.

Metcon:

This was the part of today's workout that fried me. It triggered traumatic flashbacks to Fight Gone Bad.

AMAP (As Many As Possible):

3 rounds:
  • 1 minute of push-ups
  • 1 minute of deadlifts (using a 135-pound barbell)
  • 1 minute of pull-ups
  • 1 minute of rowing
  • 1 minute of rest
The entire workout takes 14 minutes (if you don't count the final minute of rest). Your score is comprised of the total number of push-ups, deadlifts and pull-ups you can crank out, added to the total number of calories you row.

Result: I blazed through the first round (50 push-ups!) but was gassed for the final two rounds. My totals:
  • Round 1: 93
  • Round 2: 77
  • Round 3: 76
  • Total: 246
The good: My last set of deadlifts was unbroken. I didn't let go of the bar, and I didn't rest. Thirty-one reps in less than a minute! Plus, I was the point leader in my class today, which helps make up for my last-place finish on Wednesday.

The bad: I can't move my arms.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dinner Tonight

We picked up the "deluxe" World Series CSA cooler from 4505 Meats for dinner tonight.


Fret not: We didn't touch the non-Paleo stuff. Our guests did, though, and we made them take all the non-meat-based items home with them.



All the finger-lickin' details and photos are over on M's blog. (But unlike my lovely spouse, I thought the spicy, tender Gigantes dogs were quite tasty.)

Blog Interrupted

Busy day at work + Giants in Game 2 + hosting World Series dinner party = No blogging today.


See you tomorrow. Go Giants!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Clean as a Whistle


Judith Newman has a funny piece in today's New York Times about her half-assed attempt to go on a juice cleanse to eliminate the so-called "toxins" from her body. As you probably already know, this fine bit of quackery typically involves imbibing various vegetable or fruit juices for days on end and occasionally shooting water into your butthole.

You should read the whole thing, but here are my favorite lines from Newman's article:
  • "A month ago I went on a juice cleanse. You know what it cleans out of you best? The will to live."
  • "Celebrities as varied as Beyoncé, Jared Leto and the Moore/Kutchers (Demi and Ashton were tweeting about it this week) swear by [the Master Cleanse's] energizing and weight loss effects, weight loss being not all that surprising, when you consider that you are essentially sucking lemons and a few teaspoons of sugar for 10 days."
  • "At the beginning and the end of the three-day program, the BPC [BluePrintCleanse] people highly recommend a colonic. A colonic is better known as many gallons of water shot into your rectum through a tube, only to pass out of you again, this time with the contents of your intestines."
  • "Here’s the thing. That green juice? It was like drinking everything bad that ever happened to me in high school."
  • "[W]hile I was walking down Bleecker Street trying to choke down my second bottle of malignancy, the reek so sickened me I had to stop and steady myself on a parked car."
  • "The next three days could be summed up thus: 1. I need food. 2. Hey, this isn’t bad! 3. Kill me now."
Heh. Here's the rub:
[Author and internist] Dr. [David] Colbert said: “You have to ask yourself this question: With a juice cleanse, what are you really cleaning? Really, nothing. The bowel self-cleans. It’s evolved over millions of years to do this.”
If you’re going to have liquids, said Dr. Colbert, a staunch believer in unprocessed foods, there is certainly good to be had from eating fresh vegetables and fruits and nuts pulverized into liquid. “But most people aren’t Einsteins,” he added. “Often their idea of a juice fast is having nothing but orange juice or apple juice for a week. In which case, you might as well call it the Toblerone diet, because that’s how much sugar you’re pouring into your system.”
This is pretty much what I did. And it’s dumb. “Many people are undiagnosed diabetics, and these cleanses can cause spikes and crashes in blood sugar levels that could be quite dangerous,” said Nancy Kalish, a certified health coach in Brooklyn who advises clients against juice cleanses.
Hear, hear.

Still, I have to wonder if non-Paleo eaters consider my nutritional approach to be just as (if not more) bizarre as "cleansing" with juices and colonics.

Wednesday's Workout

Strength Skill:
  • Single-Leg Deadlifts


Before this morning, we hadn't practiced single-leg deadlifts since July. Not surprisingly, I have not managed to develop cat-like agility in the intervening months. In other words, I still kind of suck at trying to balance on one leg while repeatedly lifting a heavy-ass barbell off the ground.

Metcon:

A doozy of a WOD. For time:

Result: A perfectly respectable 12:39 -- but I was the last in my class to finish today. I'm not making excuses, but my fellow 5 a.m. classmates are frickin' INTENSE. (Okay, maybe I am making excuses.)

The worst part: The thrusters. This isn't the first time I've cranked out a set of 21 thrusters at 95 pounds, but that was at the start of Fran. Trying to do 'em at the end of a hard workout is another matter entirely. I could barely string three thrusters together at a time.

As I packed up my gym bag at the end of class, though, it suddenly occurred to me that I no longer spend hours racked with nerves on nights before my CrossFit workouts. The anxiety that used to unsettle my stomach as I headed to bed? Gone! Weirdly enough, I don't know when I stopped freaking out about the next day's WOD. I still get butterflies, but they don't appear until the WOD gets written on the whiteboard moments before our coach yells "3-2-1-GO!" The workouts are more fun than terrifying now, which is a good thing.

(One exception: Rowing. I hate, hate, HATE it.)

The Sheer Awesomeness of Sugar, Soda, Coffee, Cigarettes & Guns

Ah, advertising. Don Draper would be proud.

But one of the ads below is fake. (Yes, just one.) Post your guesses in the comments!









[UPDATE: The answer is after the jump...]

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Run for Your Lives


Last year at about this time, I got it in my head that I should run a marathon. The idea popped up suddenly, the plan fully-formed: I’d slowly accumulate more and more mileage in my Vibram FiveFingers, building a base of endurance á la Arthur Lydiard – and then ramp up using a tried-and-true training program like Hal Higdon’s. I could shoot for the San Francisco Marathon, or maybe enter the lottery for the New York City Marathon. My head quickly filled with grand plans.

And then, I remembered: I find long-distance running boring as hell. (I'm not the only one, right?) And I hate the interminable post-run recovery period.

I have nothing against runners. I admire their perseverance, sacrifice and drive. And personally, I still enjoy running short-to-moderate distances. I'll still pull on my FiveFingers and log a few miles every now and then, when I feel like it. But long-distance training takes a toll on my body that just ain’t worth the hassle. And frankly, with CrossFit workouts scheduled every other day, I’m not sure my aging legs could take the extra pounding. And so, after chucking the marathon goal out the window, I stopped doing my occasional long mid-afternoon runs. I didn't see the point.

Nonetheless, every once in a while, a devil perches on my shoulder, enticing me with whispers about the benefits of marathon training. Wouldn't it be an awesome accomplishment to run 26.2 miles? Don't you want a nice, shiny finisher's medal? Aren't pre-race spaghetti dinners yummy? Don't you miss slurping down Gu? And wouldn't it be fantastic to have saliva smeared all over your face?

Thankfully, I now have more than enough ammo to shoot that little fucker down. Namely:
In sum, long-distance running can seriously mess you up. I've given up my marathon dreams, and not just because God hates runners.

Rest Day

Hmm.


(Source: Monsters are Everywhere)

Monday, October 25, 2010

What Bread Is Good For:


Of course, as Melissa McEwen points out, it's likely that bread was originally borne of booze, which makes this photo doubly awesome.
(Source: Buzzfeed)

Monday's Workout

I woke up earlier than I should have. Tried to go back to sleep, but just tossed and turned, still sore from Saturday's high-volume craziness. Finally, I decided to haul my creaky ass out of bed to try to work out the kinks.

Strength Skill:
  • Cleans - 3 sets of 5, and then 3 sets of 3


I haven't practiced cleans in a couple of months, and they've never been my favorite, but definitely feel like my form is getting smoother and faster. My landings are (for the most part, anyway) nice and hard -- I love the solid THUNK! that resonates when the wooden heels of my weighlifting shoes slam into the floor. I don't know that I'll ever become a huge fan of cleans, but I'm happy that I'm not totally sucking at them anymore.

Metcon:


For time:
  • Run 400 meters
  • 24 Toes-to-Bar
  • 24 Plyo Box Jumps
  • Run 200 meters
  • 16 Toes-to-Bar
  • 16 Plyo Box Jumps
  • Run 200 meters
  • 8 Toes-to-Bar
  • 8 Plyo Box Jumps
  • Run 400 meters
I know some folks have trouble with toes-to-bars -- especially those with relatively shorter torsos and longer legs (and therefore less favorable leverage). Thankfully, I'm built like a typical Asian male -- stretchy torso, stubby legs -- so I can use the length of my core to quickly kick my little legs up for a ton of reps. Also, I don't weigh very much, and I've been diligently working on improving my grip strength (Captains of Crush, holla!), so I'm able to comfortably do two dozen toes-to-bars without having to drop off the bar.

As for the box jumps: I'm a jackrabbit. I love 'em.

Result: I kind of blazed through the toes-to-bars and box jumps. The running slowed me down a bit -- that's where having short legs doesn't help -- but I still managed a respectable time of 10:23. Not bad for an old guy!

Comments (Finally)


After fifteen months and almost 1,000 posts, I've finally (FINALLY!) enabled post-specific comments (and I've shut down the general comments section -- it was getting kind of unwieldy to scroll through hundreds of old comments).

I'm still not convinced the lurkers among you will say anything, but feel free to prove me wrong. Don't be rude: Say hello, goddammit!

I Wish Cavemen Ate Pizza

Speaking of getting fat, there's something about rainy days that makes me miss pizza. You know I love the stuff like nobody's business. Paleo or no, I'm sure the Clan of the Cave Bear would have been all over a hot slice of meaty/cheesy pie if they'd only figured out how to build an oven. And grow, harvest and process wheat. And make cheese.


Even if pizza's off my menu these days, I can still linger over my pizza-related memories, right? Today's gray weather made me dig up something I wrote about a trip to Brooklyn's Di Fara Pizza last year:
Today was wet and drizzly, and it took me almost an hour to get from the Lower East Side to the pizza mecca that is Di Fara. This unassuming, age-worn pizzeria sits just outside the grafitti-splashed Avenue J station in Brooklyn -- and despite its peeling brown paint and weathered, washed-out signage, the wafting smell of pizza goodness can't be resisted. Nor, for that matter, can its reputation as one of the best pizzerias in the country.

As expected, Domenico De Marco -- the maestro -- was personally, patiently and carefully hand-crafting each pizza one by one, just as he's done for four decades. He never looked up, keeping his head down and focused on his craft while his daughter Margaret took orders at the counter (and occasionally hand-cranked the cheese grater). The three small tables in the cramped space were already occupied, and I could see that there were lots of pies on the list that hadn't yet been made, so I ended up ordering a couple of slices of the regular pie rather than waiting.

They were delicious and hot -- fresh from the gas-fired oven. (Who says you need a wood-burning oven to make fantastic pizza?) I can't say enough about the wafer-thin crust -- the texture was perfectly charred and crisp. The simple toppings of tomato sauce, cheese and basil leaves were fresh and tasty, and a glistening sheen of olive oil added to the mouth-filling flavor of the slices I devoured.

Although the pizzas are pricey even for New York (e.g., $4 per slice, $20 for a regular pie, $25 for a "square" pie baked in a well-seasoned pan, $28 for the Di Fara special pie with mushrooms, peppers, sausage and onions), the pizza here is worth every penny (as well as an interminable subway ride from Manhattan).

Plus, who can resist the allure of a chef so dedicated and passionate about his cooking that he insists on personally making every single item that comes out of his kitchen?
I'm not a big believer in cheat meals, but it doesn't help that I just stumbled upon this 15-minute documentary about Domenico De Marco. Seriously: If you've ever considered yourself a pizza fan, you need to watch this.



Thankfully, I live three thousand miles from Brooklyn, or else I'd be hoofing it to Di Fara for lunch today.

Chris Pratt Gets Fat


It ain't all about weight loss, people.

Sometimes, you just need to get fat. Especially if you're Chris Pratt, who plays chubby slacker Andy Dwyer on "Parks & Recreation," and your job depends on getting and staying doughy after a summer of (gasp!) physical fitness.

In this slideshow, he lets us in on his weight gain tips.

My favorite of the bunch: "'If you see something, eat something.' This is key -- I cannot stress enough how important it is to eat many things."

Sunday, October 24, 2010

No Muss, No Fuss

Japanese inventiveness knows no limits -- not even when it comes to condiment packaging.



(Source: tofuprod.com)

Monkey Meat


Despite my love of meat, I have no desire to chow on a plate of monkey. But as the BBC points out:
For people raised on bushmeat, in Africa and elsewhere, the equation is different. "Forbidding hunting [bushmeat] is not a solution for the Baka," Messe Venant told a small gathering here [at the UN Convention on Biological Diversity meeting in Nagoya, Japan]. The Baka people, from Cameroon, have always survived on whatever the forest provides.
In impassioned and colourful French, Messe compared the forest to a western supermarket. "Everything we need, we go into the forest -- for food or anything else," he said. "The principal source of protein for the Baka is bushmeat."
In rural areas of Central Africa, even outside specific ethnic groups such as the Baka, bushmeat provides up to 80% of protein in peoples' diets.
But gorilla-eating is causing a crapload of ecological damage.
It threatens wildlife in Africa, Asia and Latin America, including populations of some animals even closer to humans in the lineage than monkeys, such as gorillas and chimpanzees. Animals disperse seeds -- up to 75% of plant species, in some forests -- so the disappearance of animals would present a much larger problem.
In the Congo, south of the Uele river, in addition to overpopulation, "local taboos about eating bushmeat have begun to break down in recent years."
[Dr. Cleve] Hicks [of the University of Amsterdam], who is also affiliated with the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, said that one tribe, the Barisi, used not to harm the animals because they believed their tribe was descended from a union between a man and a female chimp. The women of two other tribes, the Azande and Babenza, previously refused to eat or cook ape meat for fear that it would result in them giving birth to babies with "big ears".
The spread of a Christian group called the "message believers" whose doctrine is based on the teaching of an American faith healer and preacher called William Branham who died in 1965 has swept away some of the old beliefs. Hicks said that followers interpret his teachings as condoning bushmeat hunting.
The burgeoning market for monkey flesh is leading authorities around the world to consider banning the sale of bushmeat -- but this approach would harm groups who rely on bushmeat as their primary source of protein (and income), and potentially "drive [the practice of killing gorillas for food] further into the hands of gangsters."


What to do?

An idea proposed by Edgar Kaeslin of the UN Food and Agriculture Organization is to give back to indigenous people something they had once upon a time: self-control over their forests. They could then self-regulate the practice of bushmeat hunting for themselves, separating it from outside market forces that have led to rampant, environmentally unsustainable and criminal monkey-killing. Such a plan might help reduce or even eliminate current incentives "to catch much more than nature's supermarket can sustainably provide."
Messe Venant painted a picture of simple Baka cultural norms that keep hunting under control. Hunters are allowed to bring only one animal back from a trip, he said. Without the capacity to preserve meat, whatever's caught must be eaten there and then -- there's no point in taking a massive haul in one go.
In other words, the solution to the bushmeat problem may be to allow local populations to go back to being hunter-gatherers.

Rest Day


The guy in this photo clearly hasn't read "Lights Out" by T.S. Wiley.

Or he's dead.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Momofuku's 5:10 Eggs

Don't speak to me about the dangers of runny eggs. I love them. In fact, for the past few weeks, I've been itching to boil up a batch of soft-cooked eggs. After watching the chefs at Momofuku Ko plate and cut open perfectly soft-cooked hen eggs (served with hackleback caviar, onion soubise and fingerling potato chips), I've wanted to give it a shot, too.


But while some brave souls have recreated David Chang's entire dish at home, I ain't nearly that intrepid. Nor, frankly, do I have two hours to devote to stirring a pot of onion soubise. And potato chips aren't Paleo.

The Momofuku cookbook's recipe for just the soft-cooked eggs, however, is fast and simple, and the eggs can be added to just about any dish.

5:10 Eggs
  • Boil a big pot of water.
  • Gently lower a bunch of large eggs into the boiling water.
  • Exactly 5 minutes and 10 seconds later, carefully transfer the eggs to an ice bath (a.k.a. a big bowl of ice water).
  • Gently crack each egg and peel 'em in the bowl, under the water.
  • Handle the eggs carefully -- they should feel like little water balloons encased in jelly.
  • Keep them in the fridge until you're ready to eat (up to 8 hours). Right before serving, warm the eggs under hot running tap water for a minute. (Optional: Smoke the eggs! Add a few drops of liquid smoke to a large container of water, place the peeled eggs in the container, and refrigerate for a few hours.)
  • When ready to serve, split each egg open with a small knife, allowing the gooey yolk to ooze onto the other food on your plate, thereby rendering everything super-awesomely delicious.
Tonight, M whipped up a quick dinner using a mishmash of stuff we had on hand in our fridge and pantry: Bratwurst, heirloom tomatoes, avocado, broccoli. It was tasty -- and also a perfect opportunity for me to throw in a soft-cooked egg.

Here's how the eggs looked post-peeling:


And on my dinner plate, after being sliced open:


Going into this, I was a bit skeptical that 5:10 was the precise cooking time needed to set the egg white while keeping the yellow center liquid. But I'll be damned: This recipe works perfectly.

I couldn't be in Philly to watch the Giants clinch the National League pennant tonight, but I did polish off a celebratory bratwurst in their honor. Coating the sausage with the gooey yolk of a 5:10 egg made it taste even better.

Saturday's Workout

Yesterday, at the end of the 5 a.m. workout, our coach casually mentioned that the Saturday morning class would be doing "Angie" -- one of the original CrossFit benchmark workouts:

For time:
  • 100 pull-ups
  • 100 push-ups
  • 100 sit-ups
  • 100 squats
It looks like this:



Well, hell. I didn't want to miss this. "Angie" is a bodyweight-focused WOD, and therefore totally up my alley. But I'm playing suburban dad today -- shuttling the boys to martial arts class and a soccer game -- so there's no way I'm going to make it to the gym.

Thankfully, the only piece of equipment required for "Angie" is a pull-up bar, and I have one in my garage. And the kids weren't going to get out of bed until 7:30, so...

It was a no-brainer to start the day with "Angie," right?

Not so much. The first dozen or so pull-ups went off without a hitch, but then it started to really, really suck as my forearms started to cramp up. Soon, I found myself unable to string together more than three pull-ups in a row without dropping off the bar. It took me almost ELEVEN MINUTES just to get through the pull-ups.

Thankfully, the other three exercises in "Angie" are solidly in my wheelhouse. I cranked out all 100 push-ups in 3 minutes, and the sit-ups (my favorite -- not kidding) took even less time. My plan of attack with the squats was to break them up into five sets of 20, and just fly through them. It worked.

I finished "Angie" in 19:47.

If I can manage to improve my pull-up time (and, say, cut it in half), I might be able to one day complete this workout in less than 15 minutes, which would be awesome.

Of course, even then, I still wouldn't come close to Chris Spealler's 10:11 "Angie" time. I mean, the guy started by stringing together 70 straight pull-ups, fer cryin' out loud.

Remind You of Anyone?


"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show... and see if she likes the goods." - Ron Burgundy



Admit it: The fact that Tony Horton cracks the same jokes as the likes of Ron Burgundy and Dwight Schrute doesn't surprise you one bit.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I Don't Sweat -- I Mist.

The good folks at Re-Nest want you to know that there are lots of advantages to having a home gym that’s “both handsome and healthful,” such as: “[y]ou can watch television to make the time pass quickly during your 20-40 minute cardio” and “you are comfortable and completely at ease.”

YES! FINALLY! That’s EXACTLY what I want when I'm exercising: Complete comfort and ease! While watching TV to kill time!


Here’s Re-Nest’s recommended shopping list for starting your very own super-chill home gym on a budget:
Total cost: Over $400.

That bench makes me want to put on some Coldplay and curl up in a Snuggie with a soothing cup of fucking chai latte. It does not, however, make me want to work out. I daresay that if you plan on using an upholstered ottoman in place of an exercise bench, you’re pretty much committing to either NOT sweating or investing in a Costco-sized pallet of Scotchgard.

And if you hate exercising so much that you need to stare at something on TV to distract you, just buy a Wii Fit. It won't get you in better shape, but at least it'll only set you back a hundred bucks or so.

Don't get me wrong. I’m not saying you have to accumulate a crapload of equipment to outfit your home gym. But if you have $400 burning a hole in your pocket, and you want to buy some stuff to enable you to ACTUALLY WORK OUT, consider these options instead:


Option A: P90X

What to buy:
Total cost: Less than $225.


Option B: Insanity

What to buy:
Total cost: $160


Option 3: CrossFit Bodyweight Workouts

What to buy:
  • A pull-up bar. This time, let’s splurge on something nicer – let’s go for the StudBar. $139.45
  • A kettlebell. Kettlebell King -- the cheapest KB seller I could find online -- sells them for about a buck per pound. For our purposes, let's start with a 35-pound kettlebell. $34.65
Total cost: $228 - $295


Option 4: Run (Barefoot or Close to It!)

What to buy:
Total cost: $15 - $115

Keep the change.

Ode to Sardines


I love Bela Olhão canned sardines -- and not just because they're actually kind of delicious. (Really.) Here's why:
  • They're portable, and you can eat 'em straight out of the can, so they're fantastic for long hikes or when you just need an emergency snack. I keep a couple of tins in my office desk drawer; when I'm hungry but too busy to go grab a bite across the street, I'll just break open some smoked sardines.
  • They fit like nobody's business into my Paleo diet.
  • You can eat a tin of sardines instead of slurping down your daily dose of fish oil. Sardines are super-rich in anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids, "good fats" that decrease "the risk of heart disease and stroke while helping to reduce symptoms of hypertension, depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), joint pain and other rheumatoid problems, as well as certain skin ailments. Some research has even shown that omega-3s can boost the immune system and help protect us from an array of illnesses including Alzheimer's disease."

In sum, sardines are awesome for you, and Bela Olhão is one of the tastier brands I've tried. You can find them at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, so give 'em a shot.

Acne's On My Grocery List



Go Paleo already.

(Source: Paleo Approved)

Stretch of Road


If traffic's bad (and when is it not?), my daily commute can take up to an hour-and-a-half each way. When I'm not on work-related calls in the car, I pass my time listening to Terry Gross, satellite radio (baseball and bababooey!), and Robb Wolf's podcasts -- but by the time I get where I'm going, my body's all stiff and achy.

What to do?

Kelly Starrett has the answer:



(Photo: 27147)

Friday's Workout




Strength Skills:


Just like last Friday, we worked on a bunch of gymnastics moves, including:
It's fun being upside-down.

Metcon:

3 rounds for time:
  • 400 meter run
  • 12 burpees
  • 21 overhead kettlebell swings (using a 53-pound kettlebell)
Result: 11:23. Nothing too bad. The last few reps of my final round of kettlebell swings were a bit precarious, but I managed to avoid dropping a big ass metal ball on my skull. I'm not dead or hospitalized, so I consider this workout a smashing success.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Word "Jog" is Not in the Bible, Sir.

God hates runners.


(Source: Dangerous Minds)

Healthiest Beer?


According to The Daily Beast, the "healthiest beer" on the market is something called I.C. Light, with 95 calories and 2.8 grams of carbs per 12 ounce serving. And the most "fattening" beer is Leinenkugel Berry Weiss, at 207 calories and 28 grams of carbs.

I can't figure out how the Beast arrived at these results -- as the Brookston Beer Bulletin pointed out, they appear to be applying "some weird calculation that took into account calories, carbohydrates and alcohol content." Oddly enough, alcohol content seems to be the deciding factor that kept Michelob Ultra from taking the top "healthy" spot. (It has the same number of calories as I.C. Light, and is slightly less carb-y, but I.C. Light has a tiny bit more alcohol.) Does increased alcohol content correlate with better health? Baffling.

Whatever. A bunch of these "healthy" beers look gross, anyway. (The consensus among beer aficionados: I.C. Light is "not worthy.") Drink water instead.