Killer Caffeine

I don't know if my coffee consumption is going to kill me, but from recent news reports, it certainly appears that caffeine has homicidal tendencies.

You want examples?

• Caffeinated alcoholic beverages will PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL!

• Two spoonfuls of pure caffeine will MAKE YOU BARF AND DIE!

• Caffeine'll make you KILL YOUR WIFE!

On the plus side, thanks to the Death by Caffeine Calculator, I now know that it'll take 277 cans of Coke Zero to kill me.