Round 2 / Day 7: Insanity Pure Cardio

It'd be an understatement to call Pure Cardio a killer workout.

Pure Cardio begins with the same so-called "warm-up" as the one featured in Plyometric Cardio Circuit: three increasingly intense cycles of Jog, Jumping Jacks, Heismans, 1-2-3 Heismans, Butt Kicks, High Knees and Mummy Kicks -- with no breaks. By the end of this ten-minute, 21-exercise sequence, your body's feeling more than just warm.

After a few minutes of deep stretching, the actual workout begins -- but not before Shaun T lets slip that he's "worried" about having to do this workout. What the fuck? How am I supposed to be able to tackle this when Shaun T gets butterflies before attempting these exercises?

This main section of Pure Cardio is only 15 minutes in length, but it's long enough to make you want to puke. During this 15-minute period, you don't stop, and there are no breaks. You just keep busting your ass until you collapse.

There are 15 moves in this section, each of which is repeated for a full minute:

• Suicide Drills (run/jump from side to side, squatting down to touch the floor each time)
• Switch Kicks (alternating jump kicks -- sort of reminiscent of a Russian Cossack dance)
• Wide Football Sprints (sprint in place with your feet wide apart, rotating and moving from side to side and front to back, then crouching down into a scrimmage-line stance before popping up to sprint in place with high knees)
• Stance Jacks (modified jumping jacks -- you squat down and twist your core, touching one hand to the ground as you jump your feet wide apart)
• Pedals (lunge with one leg, then the other, then sprint in place)
• Hooks & Jump Rope (8 hook punches followed immediately by 4 high jumps)
• Power Jacks (modified jumping jacks -- go into a wide squat as you jump your feet wide apart)
• Level 2 Drills (starting in a standing position, drop down into plank position, do 8 push-ups and 8 run lunges, then jump up to a standing position)
• Frog Jumps (starting in a low squat with hands on the floor, jump straight up and back, with your hands up in the air -- then jump forward the same way)
• Power Knees (starting in a side lunge position and your arms over your head, bring your hands down as you perform a knee kick with your back leg -- switch sides after 30 seconds)
• Mountain Climbers (high knees performed with an upper-body climbing motion)
• Ski Down (side-to-side jumps)
• Scissor Runs (scissor your legs back and forth while swinging your arms)
• Suicide Jumps (just like burpees: from a standing position, squat down with your hands on the floor, jump back to plank, do a push up, jump your feet back to your hands, jump up again)
• Push-Up Jacks (start in a traditional push-up position, but when you transition to the down position, jump your feet wide)

At one point, Shaun T goes up to one of the trainers and asks her how she's feeling. Her response: "I wanna leave."

I wish I could say that I pushed through all 15 moves without taking a breather, but I had to sneak in a few breaks during Frog Jumps and Push-Up Jacks. Still, I wasn't alone: A bunch of the onscreen fitness models had to hit their personal "pause" buttons to catch their breath. Shaun T makes a point of walking around during some of the exercises, tapping folks and telling them to "go sit down" and rest. By the end of the workout, most of the group is on the floor, exhausted. Even Shaun T is on his back.

I'm a big fan of Pure Cardio. It's tough, and (as with the other Insanity videos) Shaun T doesn't waste time with a lot of detailed instruction or introduce any modifications. But by taking breaks and scaling down the intensity level when necessary, I'm confident anyone can get through this routine and still get an awesome cardio workout. (In fact, M is sick with a cold, and never tried any Insanity DVDs before tonight, but she managed to complete Pure Cardio about an hour ago. Have I mentioned before that my wife kicks ass?)

P90X: Taking a Chunk Out of Demi's Hip

The blogosphere has been abuzz about the image of proud P90Xer Demi Moore on the cover of the December issue of W Magazine. In the photo, a chunk of flesh appears to be missing from her hip, leading to criticisms of the incompetent Photoshopping that mangled Demi's leg:

From looking at the original image, though, it's likely that her hip wasn't retouched at all. So what, then, is responsible for Demi's misshapen (or just insanely toned and narrow) pelvis?

Could it possibly be, say, a 90-day workout program designed by a spectacularly douchey gentleman in an ugly hat?

Round 2 / Day 6: Insanity Cardio Recovery

After yesterday's double-whammy of Legs & Back (and Ab Ripper X) and a ten-mile barefoot run, it was a relief to see that I had Cardio Recovery on the schedule for this morning. A more accurate title for this DVD might be "Recovery from Cardio," as it contains absolutely no heart-rate-boosting moves whatsoever. Plus, the session's only a half-hour long, which meant I could wake up almost an hour later than usual.

I knew I would like this DVD when I saw the intro screen -- instead of showing a psycho fitness model jumping or kicking with gusto, the featured shot is of a guy who's doubled over in pain. I can't tell, though, if he's: (1) catching his breath, (2) dry heaving, or (3) trying to recover after being kicked in the balls.

More after the jump...

10 Miles

I had a chunk of free time in the middle of my workday today, so on a whim, I decided to go on a run. I changed into my running gear, pulled on my Vibram FiveFinger KSOs, and took off, following the course map for the San Francisco Waterfront 10-mile road race. It took me exactly an hour and a half to complete all ten miles, which is frustratingly slower than I used to run (with shoes), but probably okay for a beginner "barefoot" runner. In the process, I got to tour parts of the city I don't ordinarily visit -- while also thoroughly shredding my calves. It was awesome.

Less awesome was the ravenous hunger I felt upon finishing the run. I darted into the little market across the street from my office and grabbed a Clif Bar, a banana and a Vitamin Water; once outside, I tore open all the shit with my teeth and devoured everything in a Cookie-Monster-like frenzy. After a quick shower at the gym, I limped back to work for my afternoon meetings.

I may be nuts, but I can't wait to do this again.

Round 2 / Day 5: P90X Legs & Back + Ab Ripper X

After yesterday's barefoot-run-plus-Insanity stupidity, I knew my legs were in for a world of hurt today. So I popped in the X Stretch DVD last night and devoted an hour to various body contortions in a futile attempt to stave off the impending soreness. (Yes, I've read that stretching actually doesn't do shit, but it felt good.)

When I rolled out of bed at 5:30 a.m., my legs felt like they were in casts. The simple act of bending my knees was less than fun. But by the time I robotically shuffled into the kitchen and gobbled down my supplements and some yogurt, I felt better. And after following along with Tony's slooooow, familiar stretching routine preceding Legs & Back (such a fucking relief after experiencing Shaun T's supersonic-speed "warm-ups"), my legs actually felt halfway decent. My calves still ached a bit, but otherwise, I was ready to go.

Weirdly enough, I enjoyed Legs & Back today. I used to dread this routine; I hated the pull-ups and wall squats and Dreya Weber's super-maximum-kiss-ass-iness. But having now completed a full round of P90X, I don't feel the need to beat myself up about my occasional inability to match my previous week's rep count, or the fact that I need to take an occasional break. Given that my goal now is to simply maintain my current fitness level, I can dial myself back to 9 or 9.5 without feeling (too) guilty. And I know this is going to sound bizarre to those who are just starting P90X and struggling with pull-ups, but now that I know how many I can crank out, they're getting to be kind of fun.

I still hate doing Bicycles during Ab Ripper X, though.

Popcorn, I Thought I Knew You

With two young kids, I don't often go out to the movies these days. But if I did, I'd be sorely tempted to hit the concession stand and buy an overpriced tub of popcorn to nurse through the film. And why not? Popcorn's healthy -- right?

Not the kind sold in movie theaters. According to news reports, one study has found "an alarming amount of fat, salt and calories in even the smallest sizes" of popcorn buckets purchased by moviegoers:

A large tub of popcorn at Regal Cinemas, for example, holds 20 cups of popcorn and has 1,200 calories, 980 milligrams of sodium and 60 grams of saturated fat. Adding just a tablespoon of butter adds 130 calories. And do not forget that it comes with free refills.

Not so hungry? The medium size popcorn, which comes in a bag, contains the same amount as the large. And even the small, at 11 cups, delivers 670 calories, 550 milligrams of sodium and 24 grams of saturated fat.

In fact, "[a] medium-sized popcorn and medium soda at the nation's largest movie chain pack the nutritional equivalent of three Quarter Pounders topped with 12 pats of butter."

(Still, if I weren't such a freakish health nut now, I think I'd be kind of excited to learn that the medium- and large-sized popcorn tubs contain the same amount of greasy grub. Bargain!)

Adriana Falcon is Insanely Awesome

I know it's too early to start picking my favorite Insanity workout trainers, but after watching her on the Cardio Power & Resistance DVD, I've decided that Adriana Falcon is all kinds of crazy awesome.

I mean, how many other onscreen fitness models have you seen hock a massive loogie onto the polished wood floor of an indoor high school gymnasium, and then use her hand to wipe the remaining string of drool from her hair before flinging it off?

And when Shaun T kneels beside her and says, "Tell me how you're feeling," how many other fitness models would respond with: "I FEEL LIKE SHIT"? (Beachbody bleeped it out, but it doesn't take a lip reader to figure out what she said.)

I rest my case: Adriana is super fucking awesome.

Round 2 / Day 4: Insanity Cardio Power & Resistance

I was dumb to think that I'd have enough energy to give 100 percent to my Insanity workout this morning after a 40-minute barefoot run. (As one particularly nasty opposing counsel in one of my old cases once wrote in a letter: "You must have overdosed on your stupid pills this morning.") Although I'm running much more slowly and carefully than I typically do in big-ass running shoes, I did attempt to increase my turnover speed, which tired me out. Plus, it's (unsurprisingly) a lot more difficult to run in the dark, frigid cold of the San Francisco Bay Area than in the wet heat of Hawaii. When my calves began to ache, I packed it up and headed home.

When I headed into my garage to pop in the Insanity Cardio Power & Resistance DVD, I actually felt pretty decent: Not too tired, kind of exhilarated, a little nervous.

But then the workout started, and once again, it was a punch to the gut.

Details after the jump.

Overdoing It

Remind me to never again run 4.5 miles barefoot immediately before attempting an Insanity workout.

(I'll post about my morning Insanity Cardio Power & Resistance session later today. Too damn tired and hungry right now.)

It's Gotta Be The Shoes

(Source: Running Quest)