P90X: "It's Not That Special"

For you P90X-heads: There'a s big profile of Tony Horton, Beachbody, and the company's head honcho, Carl Daikeler, in the New York Times. Check it out here.

The guiding principle is to mix up routines and “confuse” the muscles so as to avoid hitting a plateau. So some days are devoted to dumbbells or resistance bands, in addition to old-fashioned push-ups and pull-ups. Other days are reserved for yoga or cardiovascular workouts that involve a lot of jumping and squats.

But Robert Marting, a personal trainer who sells his own exercise videos, says that “muscle confusion” is a time-tested principle of bodybuilding, and that the idea has been around since the early days of Joe Weider, a creator of the Mr. Olympia contest. Beachbody “kindly borrowed the principle and just retermed it as a training secret,” he says.

True enough, Mr. Daikeler says.

“Trainers love to give negative reviews of P90X, saying it’s not that special,” he said. “They are right. It’s not that special.”

[Source]

You Cannot Escape Him. He's Everywhere.

Tony Horton + Kathie Lee + Hoda = splitting headache.



(But did you see the NB Minimus?)

The Joe Bovino Interview (Updated)

[4/23/12 - Content removed at the request of Joe Bovino.]

The P90X Book Club

Quite a few of the folks in the P90X videos have made films, ranging from comedies to dramas to hardcore porn. But did you know that even more of 'em write books?

Tony Horton wrote one. (IMHO, it's not very good, but whatever.)

So did Pam the Blam (under her "Nashieqa Washington" pen name).

And let's not forget Mark Sisson.

The latest author to emerge from the P90X ranks? Joe Bovino.

I know it's been awhile, but you remember Joe from the "P90X Shoulders & Arms" video, right? The guy with fully-shaved armpits? He's written a book describing the "ethnic and regional subcultures of American women" in the format of a bird watching guidebook.

And no, I'm not making this up.

You have no idea how much I wish I had a copy of the book to review for you, but the "Field Guide to Chicks" isn't out yet. You can, however, click here to visit Joe's Facebook page and check out a preview of the book.



I swear: P90X is a gift that just keeps giving.

(Thanks to David Kohrell for the heads-up!)

Book Review: "Bring It!"

Since the start of the New Year, I’ve been slowly making my way through a thick stack of just-published health-related books sitting on my nightstand, including:

• "The New Evolution Diet" by Art De Vany
• "The 4-Hour Body" by Tim Ferriss
• "Why We Get Fat And What to Do About It" by Gary Taubes

As I finish ‘em, I’ll post reviews of each.

But first up: Tony Horton’s first literary work: “Bring It! The Revolutionary Fitness Plan for All Levels That BURNS FAT, BUILDS MUSCLE, and SHREDS INCHES.”

Read my review after the jump.

A Thousand Words

I love this illustration (which appears alongside the article on Tony Horton in Men's Health this month):

It perfectly captures all the stuff I love and hate about Tony: His look-at-me charisma, enviable fitness level, intensity, helmet hair, dental work, crazy-eyes, propensity for striking that schticky "X" pose, and overemphasis on isolation movements and rep schemes (e.g., 10-12 bicep curls per set) that are fine for bodybuilding, but not so much for developing a foundation of actual strength.

If I could draw like this, I could have scrapped the entire first three months of this here blog.

Men's Health on Tony Horton

The current issue of Men's Health features an article about our favorite douchetastic Beachbody guru, Tony Horton -- just in time to promote his newly-published book.

Horton is heading to QVC—the network darling of little old ladies in quilted housedresses—to sell his P90X workout program. ("Just two easy payments of $64.95, plus $9.43 shipping and handling.") He'll do an hourlong taping at 1 a.m. (right after Joan Rivers sells jewelry), grab a few hours of sleep in a back room, and then do more tapings at 6 a.m., 6 p.m., and 10 p.m.

It's hustle like this that has enabled Horton to hawk a reported 3 million P90X DVD sets, in addition to his fitness accessories, nutritional supplements, and other workout programs. Not bad for a 52-year-old former stand-up comedian and theater major who lacks a college degree or, for that matter, any type of fitness credentials.

"Hey, George Bush became president. What was his experience?" asks Horton.

Hmm.

Douche-ier Than Thou

Does it get any worse than this?

The answer is yes. Yes it does. Much, much worse.



(Source: Health Habits)

The Perfect Push-Up?

What's a "military push-up"? Depends on who you ask.

According to Tony Horton in P90X Chest & Back, military push-ups are performed with your elbows tucked in close against your sides, so that you end up targeting your triceps and shoulders.

But folks who've spent time in the military will tell you that Tony's version is foreign to them. (If anything, they call 'em "triceps push-ups.")

In fact, it appears that each branch of the U.S. armed forces uses different standards for push-ups. And they're pretty darn particular. Here's what the Air Force Times has to say on the subject:

[E]ach service can get a little pushy when it comes to what makes for a perfect push-up. Drop a soldier, sailor, airman and Marine for 20 and you’ll likely see four very different versions. True, the essentials are the same: Legs, back and head straight; arms bending to at least a 90-degree angle; body moving up and down as a single unit. But that’s about where the similarities end.

A Marine, for example, will always start his push-ups by lying flat on his stomach, pushing up into the starting position with a hearty shout of “Marine Corps.” Soldiers, sailors and airmen, however, will drop straight into the “front-leaning rest” position, with the body up and arms fully extended. Ever predisposed to making things more challenging, the Marines must also double dip, doing two push-ups for every one rep counted.

The Army and Air Force say feet can be up to 12 inches apart. Sailors, on the other hand, must keep them together. Soldiers must wear shoes; sailors can take them off. Soldiers can put their hands where they’re comfortable. Marines must put them directly under the shoulders. Airmen must put them out slightly wider. Sailors can place their hands anywhere between the two...

Meanwhile, the Army’s new regs for its PT test say soldiers can do push-ups on their fists (the other services can’t), but soldiers are not allowed to wear glasses (the others don’t say).

For the push-up to count, Marines must briefly touch their chests to the floor. Soldiers and airmen can if they want, but never to rest or bounce to build momentum. Again, the Navy is the strictest — a sailor’s PRT is over if his chest touches the deck.

Yes, but which service allows you to do push-ups from your knees?

(Source: Air Force Times)

Remind You of Anyone?

"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show... and see if she likes the goods." - Ron Burgundy



Admit it: The fact that Tony Horton cracks the same jokes as the likes of Ron Burgundy and Dwight Schrute doesn't surprise you one bit.

Kangaroos Are For Eating

There are plenty of reasons to start chomping on kangaroos:

Kangaroos aren't factory farmed! In fact, kangaroos -- which are 100 percent wild game meat -- may be "the most ethically and environmentally sound source of meat on the planet":

The animals whose flesh ends up on supermarket shelves live wild before dying a humane death... What's more, one kangaroo consumes about a third as much plant material as a sheep, and just 13 per cent of the water. This is a significant benefit in [Australia,] a country that suffers periodic droughts, which climate change may worsen.

It cuts down on greenhouse gases! According to a report commissioned by Greenpeace, switching from beef to kangaroo meat would help cut 15 megatons of greenhouse gas emissions by the year 2020. Why? Because their farts are virtually methane-free. Way to go, kangaroo farts!

Eating kangaroos saves polar bears. Why? Because this video says so. And personally, I think polar bears are way awesomer than kangaroos.

There's too damn many of them! Australian authorities are "culling" kangaroos to curtail their destruction of the environment and harm to other species. Side note: "Culling" sounds an awful lot like "killing," which I guess is appropriate:

By law, adult kangaroos must be killed by a shot to the head from a high-powered rifle. A report published this year by the animal welfare group RSPCA Australia says this leads to instant insensibility quickly followed by death. Kangaroo harvesters are good shots: according to the report, around 95 per cent of carcasses were indeed shot in the head.

Things get more complicated if the roo is female. A doe usually has a young joey in her pouch, and by law it must be dispatched by a blow to the head. In practice, it is coshed with a metal pipe or swung against the side of a truck. "Blunt trauma is an aesthetically displeasing procedure, but when done correctly is an acceptable method of euthanasia," says the RSPCA report.

(On second thought, maybe it's better to focus less on the murder of kangaroo mommies, and more on the sweet, sweet taste of marsupial flesh.)

Kangaroo is tasty! Esquire Magazine says it tastes like "sweet filet mignon." There's nothing like a delicious steak to distract me from killing an animal by bashing its head against the side of a truck.

It's paleo-friendly! Just like grassfed meats, kangaroo is lean, healthy, low in polyunsaturated fat and loaded with long-chain omega-3 fatty acids and conjugated linoleic acid (CLA).

Even vegetarians are making exceptions for kangaroo meat! I shit you not: They're calling themselves "kangatarians." (I prefer "vegeroos.")

You can pretend you're eating something else! Just as you find the notion of eating "pork" and "beef" more palatable than chowing on "pigs" and "cows," you can just close your eyes and tell yourself you're dining on "australus" meat. Yum!

It's available in the U.S.! You can order kangaroo australus meat from a bunch of places online, like Exotic Meats USA, Fossil Farms, or -- if you're looking to buy in bulk -- Marx Foods. Some butcheries specializing in exotic meats (like San Francisco's Polarica) carry kangaroo. Or, if you're in New York and want someone else to do the cooking, try the kangaroo skewers at Eight Mile Creek.

The final reason: Kangaroos have faces and souls. I get that Tony Horton is a vegan and doesn't like ingesting things with faces. But I've gone over to the paleo side of the fence, and Robb Wolf's my guru now. And I believe him when he says I should eat animals -- even cute ones.

The Old Spice Guy's a Vegan P90Xer

I love Old Spice Guy (and former Oakland Raider wideout) Isaiah Mustafa. He's all kinds of awesome. (If you're as big a fan of the Old Spice commercials as I am, check out this "making of" video.)

Recently, on Leno (I'm with Coco, so I didn't actually catch this live) Mustafa revealed that he's staying in shape by training with Tony Horton. P90X represent!

BUT: Tony's got the Old Spice Guy on a vegan diet:

"I’m lucky to work out with Tony Horton of P90X fame. He’s got me on this diet right now that’s absolutely ridiculous. There are 5 things you can’t do: There’s no alcohol, no caffeine, no processed sugars, nothing with a face -- no animals or animal by-products. But here’s the tough one: No gluten."

The good news is that Mustafa's eating whole foods and avoiding sugar and certain grains. But why is he joining Mike Tyson in the camp o' veganism? Lierre Keith's got me convinced that eschewing all meat and animal products ain't the healthiest, most ethical or most environmentally sustainable way to go.

But then again, who am I to argue with a guy who smells like jet fighters and punching?

Link Dump

Peruse at your leisure:

Kids should go barefoot. Big, stiff, cushioned shoes can damage the development of their feet.

What sort of damage? Research published in podiatry journal The Foot in 2007 suggests that structural and functional changes can result from the foot having to conform to the shape and constriction of a shoe, rather than being allowed to develop naturally. And the younger the foot, the greater the potential for damage.

I may not have convinced you to give paleo eating a try, but would you be more open to it if an awesome world-class athlete did it?

Although fitness DVD sales are still going strong, free exercise programs are disappearing from the boob tube:

"Too many of the exercise shows became too similar," says Frank Nunez of Chicago's UNICUS Fitness, which is headquartered at the Fitness Lair at Michigan and Wacker. "It was always the same kind of thing, where the exercising was done to music or some kind of eight-count beat. All studies show that the only people that this appealed to were people who were already going to work out."

It's what we all suspected: Mark Sisson's WOWs look a hell of a lot like CrossFit WODs. (The differences, if any, are superficial; for example, instead of saying "as many rounds as possible in 12 minutes," he says "maximum cycles in 12 minutes.")

Eating meat made humans smarter:

Meat is packed with lots of calories and fat. [When our prehistoric ancestors started eating meat, o]ur brain -- which uses about 20 times as much energy as the equivalent amount of muscle -- piped up and said, "Please, sir, I want some more."

Cancer cells heart fructose.

How did Tony Horton escape getting profiled on Click On Detroit's list of the "5 Most Annoying TV Workout People"?

Are you gymorexic? (I might be.)

Tuesday's Workout

Power to the People!

• 2 sets of deadlifts
• 2 sets of side presses
• 2 sets of weighted pull-ups
• 2 sets of weighted push-ups
• Handstand practice

Also:

I did Ab Ripper 200 and the first half of P90X X Stretch. Ah, Tony -- I'd missed your crazy-eyes, helmet-hair and dumb jokes.

Check It Out: Primal Blueprint Fitness

Mark Sisson just launched his Primal Blueprint Fitness program -- and he's giving it away for free. Here's how Sisson describes it:

I’m confident that Primal Blueprint Fitness is the right formula for people of all ages and skill levels to get lean and functionally fit for life with minimal time commitment, pain, suffering and sacrifice and, more importantly, with as much fun, enjoyment and ease as possible. No, it’s not the only way to get fit, but it might just be the most efficient, effective and pleasurable way.

In short, Sisson doesn't claim that his Primal Blueprint Fitness regimen will get you in the best shape of your life; rather, he makes clear that the point of his program is to get you "functionally fit" with as little effort and time commitment as possible.

I've only had a chance to quickly flip through the program materials, but it looks altogether consistent with Sisson's Primal Blueprint prescription for physical activity: (1) move around a lot, but slowly; (2) lift heavy things once in a while; (3) sprint occasionally; and (4) play outside. The Primal Blueprint Fitness contains a weekly schedule that consists of 1 day of sprinting, 2 days of lifting heavy things, and 4 days of slow movement and/or free play. Plus, once a week, Sisson's going to post a bodyweight-focused "Workout of the Week" (or "WOW")  on his site that readers can substitute for one of their two weekly heavy-lifting workouts.

My first impression: This looks like a watered-down version of CrossFit, with WOWs instead of WODs, sprinting instead of metcons, and bodyweight resistance exercises instead of technical O-lifts and gymnastics.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. The best fitness regimen is one that's sustainable -- and a sustainable program is one that you find doable and pleasurable. A lot of people don't have the time, money, energy or commitment to devote to a P90X or CrossFit routine. Equipment is expensive, and the sessions arguably take too long -- especially for those with school, jobs and/or family obligations to juggle. And frankly, the prospect of starting P90X or CrossFit can be intimidating. I'm sure plenty of folks can't fathom spending 60 to 90 minutes with Tony Horton every day, and would sooner chew glass than do a Fran or Angie WOD every other day. If Sisson can get these people eating according to the Primal Blueprint, they're already well on their way to improved health; add a few sessions of intense exercise per week, and they'll no doubt see even greater results -- all without having to throw themselves into a crazy-rigorous fitness program.

But if you're the type of person who thinks exercise is actually fun rather than "pain, suffering and sacrifice," the Primal Blueprint Fitness program may not be your cup of tea.

Albert Haynesworth Might Want to Give P90X a Shot

If you're a football fan, you're probably aware that Albert Haynesworth, one of the most dominant (and highly-paid) defensive ends in the NFL, keeps failing the Washington Redskins' conditioning test, which consists of "two 300-yard shuttle runs broken into 25-yard increments, with three and a half minutes rest between the two repetitions." Each player is required to "run 25 yards, touch his foot on the line and run 25 yards back a total of six times. For offensive and defensive linemen, the first run must be completed in 70 seconds or less and the second set in less than 73 seconds." Despite several attempts, Haynesworth hasn't yet passed the test.

Sports journalists have seized upon this opportunity to show up Haynesworth as a disgruntled, unmotivated malingerer. One is ESPN's Mike Golic, a 47-year-old former NFL defensive end and current P90Xer, who announced that his Tony Horton-based training would power him through the conditioning test with flying colors. Some (like his "Mike and Mike" radio partner, Mike Greenburg) disagreed, but in the end, Golic successfully passed the test.

Or did he? According to the Washington Post:

[T]he circumstances were a bit questionable. [Golic] seemed to leave early on both attempts, he didn't necessarily reach every cone, and his finishing time for Part I was first called out as 71 seconds, then changed to 70. Part II was even worse; as a reader points out, the video shows 76 seconds of elapsed time, even though Mike Greenberg later says Golic finished in 73 seconds. Either way, he certainly came close to the appropriate time, and he's a similar weight to Haynesworth. Plus he's 47 years old.

You be the judge:

Monday's Workout

I'm a little under the weather, but not enough to justify scuttling my workout.

After some warm-up (I did 2 double-unders!), we practiced power jerks again -- and I think I tried to go too heavy. On my last rep, I attempted to heave a barbell loaded with more weight than my own bodyweight, and ended up awkwardly throwing it to the floor. I hope I didn't tweak my lower back.

As usual, the metcon was an ass-kicker:

AMRAP in 10 minutes:

• 10 Hanging Toes-to-Bar
• 20 Dumbbell Snatches (25% of bodyweight)
• 10 Push-Ups

I did 4 rounds and 12 reps before time ran out.

After I got home, I threw in my Tony Horton Killer Abs DVD for good measure, which was probably a mistake. Not only was my midsection wrecked from the toes-to-bars, I haven't attempted any kind of workout that isolates the core like this in a while. I used to whip through this workout with no problems, but by the end of today's session, I was wiped out.

Thursday's Workout

More rowing practice:

• 1000-meter row
• 1 minute rest
• 1000-meter row

I finished the first 1000 meters in 4:06, and the second 1000 meters in 4:05. My short-term goal -- which I hope to achieve by the end of next week -- is to finish a 2000-meter row (without a break) in less than 8:10. Serious doubt is creeping in.

Afterwards, I popped in my Fountain of Youth yoga DVD. In my opinion, one of the drawbacks of CrossFit is that there's not much of an emphasis placed on stretching, flexibility and balance, so it was nice to squeeze in some sun salutations and warrior poses. After a hard row, I definitely needed to work the lactic acid out of my aching legs.

Friday's Workout

Finally -- a (sort of) easy CrossFit skills workout!

At the friendly neighborhood CrossFit gym this morning, we worked on dead hang chin-ups by doing 3 sets of 5, and then 3 sets of 3. Thanks to months of chin-ups in various P90X workouts, this was a breeze. Noticing the ease with which I cranked out my first set, Coach T started adding weights. But even with a heavy dumbbell jammed into my crotch, this wasn't much of a challenge. I know the point of today's session was to develop neuromuscular connections and to master the technique, but three chin-ups per set are nothing compared with the high-rep sets in Chest & Back, Back & Biceps, and 30-15 Upper Body Massacre.

Thank you, Tony.

On the other hand, today's metcon was a killer:

• 10 ascending-rep sets (i.e., 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10) of Sumo Deadlift High Pulls

alternating with

• 10 descending-rep sets (i.e., 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1) of Barbell Thrusters

Here's what a sumo deadlift high pull looks like:



I finished in 10:54, but I barely put any weight on the barbell (75 pounds). Also, the girl in my 5 a.m. class who usually SMOKES me in metcons finished over a minute after I was done, which leads me to suspect that I miscounted my reps/sets and ended up doing less than I should have.

Or she miscounted and did too many.

Or I am awesome. Which is highly unlikely.

Maren's Into More Than Just German Potato Soup

I'm not sure how to break this to you, my fellow P90X-philes. Maren -- "German potato soup" Maren -- Maren who does pull-ups like crazy in P90X Chest & Back -- Maren who lived in Pam the Blam's apartment building -- Maren who can hold a wall squat in excess of 11 minutes -- our Maren...

Wait. I think you need to sit down first.

Okay. Ready?

Maren used to perform in hardcore porn videos.

More after the jump. (Note: Adult content ahead. Clicking the "Read More" link is work-safe, but links to material outside of this blog are not. Consider yourself warned...)