Saturday, July 10, 2010

Maren's Into More Than Just German Potato Soup

I'm not sure how to break this to you, my fellow P90X-philes. Maren -- "German potato soup" Maren -- Maren who does pull-ups like crazy in P90X Chest & Back -- Maren who lived in Pam the Blam's apartment building -- Maren who can hold a wall squat in excess of 11 minutes -- our Maren...

Wait. I think you need to sit down first.

Okay. Ready?

Maren used to perform in hardcore porn videos.

More after the jump. (Note: Adult content ahead. Clicking the "Read More" link is work-safe, but links to material outside of this blog are not. Consider yourself warned...)

What is it about P90X and adult entertainment? Yesterday, I received an email from an eagle-eyed reader who spotted Maren in an online porn video.

Don't believe me? Here are a couple of (work-safe) screenshots:

And yes, these stills are from an extremely explicit video -- right before the eye-popping stuff goes down. Trust me, these were about the only work-safe screenshots I could post. (Still don't believe that these innocuous-looking photos are from a porn shoot? For a shot that isn't work-safe -- though still non-explicit -- click here. But only if you want your eyes to melt off your face.)

I know you're about to scurry off to run some Google searches to confirm this, so let me save you the trouble: Maren's X-rated filmography can be found here, and the video clip I was sent can be found here. (WARNING: These links are NOT WORK OR FAMILY SAFE. Trust me: If you watch the video -- especially if you venture beyond the 25-second-mark -- you will never again be able to do P90X Chest & Back without feeling really, really dirty. So I beg of you: Think on it carefully before deciding whether you truly want to see this. Please.)

From her filmography, it appears that most -- and maybe all -- of Maren's porn shoots took place before she did P90X, but a few of her titles were released post-2003, when Chest & Back was shot.

Yikes. I now can't even write "Chest & Back" without squirming.

And you know the oddest thing about all of this? Maren's porn name is "Maren," which means that either:
  • Rather than using the tried-and-true porn name formula of (Childhood Pet's Name) + (Name of Street You Grew Up On), she used her real first name; or
  • "Maren" is her fake/porn name, and she chose to use it for P90X as well.