Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tony Horton After Dark

Tony Horton has said in interviews that he moved to California years ago because “I wanted to be an actor.” He landed an agent, who told him he needed to get in better shape, which ultimately led to Tony’s incredibly successful career as a trainer and fitness guru.

But this got me thinking: Did Tony ever land any acting jobs?

My online sleuthing (i.e., Google searching) reveals that Tony took on the role of a guy named “Chad” in “The Gymnast,” a 2006 film starring Dreya Weber of P90X fame. This was a couple of years after the P90X series was shot, so I’m assuming Dreya remained friends with Tony despite his inappropriate workplace conduct.

Better yet, it appears that a certain "Tony Sawyer Horton" (his middle name’s no secret -- he put it on his Facebook page) played a detective in “Rebecca’s Secret,” a late night, premium-cable soft-core porn movie. (I have to point out that I totally called this, people.) The movie’s many taglines include "In the Lingerie Business, You're Always Dressed to Kill" and my personal favorite: “Full of Erotic Action Just for You.”

Look, I'm not judging. I recognize that acting gigs aren't easy to get, and it's not like Tony journeyed into the Valley and became a drug-addled Dirk Diggler type. A job's a job, and if it involves a lot of naked people and simulated intercourse, so be it. Besides, I have no idea if he so much as doffed his shirt on camera, as I'm unwilling to fork out $373.90 to order the "Rebecca's Secret" DVD from Amazon to see whether Tony himself actually engaged in any onscreen “Erotic Action Just for You."

Still, I think we can all agree that Tony's decision to abandon tastefully-shot adult entertainment for a career in fitness and exercise was the right one. I, for one, would much rather watch him demonstrate plyo push-ups than catch him on Cinemax pretending to make slow-motion love to a cosmetically-enhanced B-movie starlet in a dimly-lit swimming pool while the bluesy saxophone number wails oh-so-seductively in the background.

[UPDATE 1: Sadly, it turns out Tony only has a bit part in the flick, and his single two-minute scene is anything but scandalous.]

[UPDATE 2: Okay, so Tony's not a porn star. But it turns out that Maren is.]