Friday's Workout

Finally -- a (sort of) easy CrossFit skills workout!

At the friendly neighborhood CrossFit gym this morning, we worked on dead hang chin-ups by doing 3 sets of 5, and then 3 sets of 3. Thanks to months of chin-ups in various P90X workouts, this was a breeze. Noticing the ease with which I cranked out my first set, Coach T started adding weights. But even with a heavy dumbbell jammed into my crotch, this wasn't much of a challenge. I know the point of today's session was to develop neuromuscular connections and to master the technique, but three chin-ups per set are nothing compared with the high-rep sets in Chest & Back, Back & Biceps, and 30-15 Upper Body Massacre.

Thank you, Tony.

On the other hand, today's metcon was a killer:

• 10 ascending-rep sets (i.e., 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10) of Sumo Deadlift High Pulls

alternating with

• 10 descending-rep sets (i.e., 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1) of Barbell Thrusters

Here's what a sumo deadlift high pull looks like:



I finished in 10:54, but I barely put any weight on the barbell (75 pounds). Also, the girl in my 5 a.m. class who usually SMOKES me in metcons finished over a minute after I was done, which leads me to suspect that I miscounted my reps/sets and ended up doing less than I should have.

Or she miscounted and did too many.

Or I am awesome. Which is highly unlikely.

Round 3 / Day 83: One-on-One with Tony Horton - Just Arms

No Turbulence Training for me today. My legs are beat, and I felt the need to rest 'em for a while. So this morning, I decided to try the "Just Arms" workout from Tony Horton's One-on-One series.

 It's just as advertised: Nothing but exercises for the arms. The session consists of 47 minutes of bicep, forearm and triceps exercises, broken up into three supersets and a bonus round.
  

None of the bicep or triceps moves are new to P90X grads, but for the first time in any of the workout videos I've seen from Tony Horton, he throws in a bunch of wrist and forearm exercises. (Good thing, too -- my forearms are puny.)

Without further ado, here's a list of the sleeve-busters Tony leads us through:

Superset One:

• Seated Bicep Curls
• Seated Forearm Curls
• Lying Triceps Extensions

Repeat the superset.
 

 Superset Two:

• Seated Incline Curls
• Reverse Forearm Curls
• Triceps Kickbacks

Repeat the superset.
 

Superset Three:

• Twenty-Ones (just like in P90X Back & Biceps)
• Three-Way Forearm Curls (rotations, standard curls and reverse curls)
• Side Tri Rises

 Repeat the superset.
    

Bonus Round:

• Crazy 8's (just like Static Arm Curls from P90X Shoulders & Arms, but you do 8 bicep curls before switching to the other arm, and each arm goes twice, for a total of 32 curls while the other arm is held at a 90-degree angle)
• Back Forearm Curls
• Hammer Curls
• Tricep Throws
• Crazy 8's (again)

And that's it.
  



Overall, this isn't a bad workout. It's standard, straightforward isolation weight training, pumping up your arms while still allowing the rest of your body to rest and recover.
   

But in the end, I felt a little unsatisfied in a way that I don't when I'm doing interval training or compound bodyweight exercises. Perhaps it's because I'm not looking to be a bodybuilder; working just one series of muscles in isolation doesn't hold much appeal for me.

     

But it's also because I feel totally inadequate watching Tony and coming to the realization that I can't lift nearly as heavy as he can. And he's in his 50s.
     

Round 2 / Day 87: P90X Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

Spit out your gum, Tim the Marine. You're gonna choke.

Round 2 / Day 73: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

Why is everyone in this video so damn chatty? Bobby Stephenson, Timmy the Marine and Katie the Giggly Interior Designer all evidently feel the need to chime in with bad jokes, set-up lines for Tony, and other unnecessary commentary.

Shhhh.

(Admittedly, my tolerance level is especially low today because I'm under the weather -- one of the occupational hazards of being a dad to two little germ-magnets, I guess.)

Round 2 / Day 57: P90X Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

During the warm-up, when Tony says that the shoulder & triceps stretch reminds him of a scene in "Deliverance," I assume he's referring to this:

And not this:

Because personally, I don't squeal like a pig until it's time for Corn Cob Pull-Ups.

Round 2 / Day 38: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

This morning, I decided to up the weights I'm lifting, which meant my rep counts dropped. It wasn't fun to feel so inadequate, but if my goal is to build a little more muscle mass, I suppose I'm going to have to start pushing myself to go heavier (and eat more, too).

On another note: Katie doesn't ever seem to get less annoying. Today, it wasn't her incessant jabbering and overeager giggling that bugged me -- it was the weird squeaky grunting she emits during exercise. That, and the fact that she's decided that it's her responsibility to be the set-up man for Tony's douchey jokes. "What show is that, Tony?" she chirps when he smirks into the camera and launches into his "gun show" routine.

Both of you: SHUT. UP.

Round 2 / Day 24: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

So after almost four months of P90X workouts, I finally tried the "Silence and Cues" feature on the DVDs. And I'm kicking myself for not checking this out sooner. It's the best thing ever.

With "Silence and Cues," there's no grating music. There's no commentary by Tony, other than a sentence or two at the start of each exercise to let you know that we're moving on. (It's astonishing how little time Tony spends on verbal instruction, and how much of his constant blabber is pointless and unnecessary.) Best of all, in Back & Biceps, you don't have to hear Katie's deranged giggling at all.

Another plus: You can listen to music on your iPod or soak in the silence during your workout. Or, if you're like me, you can turn on the other TV in the garage and catch up on old episodes of "Survivor" that are about to disappear from your TiVo -- all while doing Corn Cob Pull-Ups.

"Silence and Cues," I think I love you.

Round 2 / Day 10: P90X Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

This morning's Back & Biceps workout was uneventful, but by the time Ab Ripper X started, my preschooler had popped out of bed and into the garage. "Good morning, daddy!" he chirped.

"'Morning," I grunted while forcing my legs straight while scissoring them.

My son walked over and stood directly above me, with one leg on either side of my head. "FASTER, daddy -- FASTERFASTERFASTER!"

"No, you see, we're supposed to wait until he tells us to--"

And at that moment, my kid (who hasn't yet mastered the skill of saying it and not spraying it) lets fly a gob of drool that lands squarely in my mouth.

It's both gross and funny (or, as my wife would say, gross is funny), but my laughter only encourages my son to find other ways to distract me. During my Hip Rock & Raise set, he playfully kicks my head with each rep. During Pulse-Ups, he spins around with a baseball bat like a helicopter. And during V-Up Roll-Ups, he takes an empty cannister of protein formula and tries to roll it under my head.

"How many seconds until you're done, daddy?" he finally demands.

There's little point in trying to finish the last two exercises. "I'm done now, kiddo. Let's eat breakfast."

[UPDATE: I never did finish Ab Ripper X today, but I ran the Lake Merced Loop twice after work for a total of 9 miles, give or take. And once again, my calves are insanely sore from running barefoot.]

P90X Day 80: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

Mentally, I think I've relied too much on the knowledge that once I'm unable to bust out any more full-body-weight pull-ups, I can always plant a foot on a chair to help me crank out a few more. Not today. My goal during this morning's final Back & Biceps workout was to do as many unassisted pull-ups as possible.

Here's how I did on the pull-up moves in Week 5 versus Week 12 (today):

Wide Front Pull-Ups

Week 5: 10 unassisted
Week 12: 15 unassisted

Switch Grip Pull-Ups

Week 5: 5 unassisted
Week 12: 10 unassisted

Corn Cob Pull-Ups

Week 5: 3 unassisted
Week 12: 7 unassisted

Towel Pull-Ups

Week 5: 0 unassisted (yes, I suck)
Week 12: 6 unassisted (still sucking, but less so)

Chin-Ups

Week 5: 4 unassisted
Week 12: 8 unassisted

Max Rep Pull-Ups

Week 5: 0 unassisted (too damn tired at the end of the workout!)
Week 12: 6 unassisted (still too damn tired!)

Not too shabby for a guy who could only muster a grand total of 7 pull-ups on August 6!

P90X Day 66: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

In Back & Biceps, Tony calls Towel Pull-Ups "one of [his] personal favorites," but that's because he's superhuman (and a show-off).  Me?  I can't stand them.

First of all, there's the whole wetting-the-towel thing.  Tony recommends that you soak your already-damp sweat rag with water from your bottle, which means: (1) your saturated towel will be rendered incapable of soaking up the perspiration that's puddling in your bodily creases and folds, (2) you're going to have to refill your now-depleted water bottle, and (3) you're probably going to spill water all over your mat or living room rug. The alternative, of course, is to keep your towel dry, but it'll be much harder to grip.

Then, there are the actual pull-ups themselves. I have difficulty even throwing the towel up and over the pull-up bar on the first try.  And when I try to do a pull-up with one hand gripping the bar and the other one gripping the dripping towel, it feels like my puny forearm muscles are going to rip apart.  I have a weak grip (unless I'm giving a handshake, in which case I squeeze extra hard so the recipient will marvel at my manliness and hand strength), so I'm sure I'd struggle with Towel Pull-Ups even if they were my first exercise of the day.  But in Back & Biceps, Tony introduces these fuckers a half-hour into the session -- AFTER we've already suffered through three sets of pull-ups (including the obscenely crazy Corn Cob Pull-ups), three sets of various back rows, and six sets of bicep-blasting curls.  Bastard.

As you can probably tell, I crashed and burned with Towel Pull-Ups today, managing to crank out only a handful before having to finish up the set with my foot on the washing machine.

On the plus side: With the exception of the aforementioned disaster, I cruised through Back & Biceps without much trouble.  It helps that I now know what to expect -- from Twenty Ones to In-Out Hammer Curls.  So without having to concentrate on how to perform the moves, I can now focus on more pressing matters, like how Bobby Stephenson needs a haircut, and how Katie the Interior Designer needs to be quiet.

P90x Day 45: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

Day 45 is in the books, which means I'm halfway through P90X! Cue the chorus of Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer"!

Plus, with the last Phase 2 session of Back & Biceps done, I don't have to hear Tony's hacky "gun show" joke or Katie's crazy-eyed-stalker laugh again for another three weeks.

P90X Day 38: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

As with any P90X workout involving pull-ups, I approached Back & Biceps this morning knowing that I'm in for an hour of frustration.

It's not that I'm flat-out, fall-down horrible at pull-ups; thanks to P90X, I'm now able to crank out a full set of 12 wide-grip pull-ups in a row, and I can also manage to eke out 3 or 4 corn cob pull-ups before having to brace myself with a foot on a chair. But for the life of me, I can't even remotely come close to the insane number of pull-ups that Tony -- and in this particular video, Bobby Stephenson -- can do. Also? Their form is perfect whereas mine is shit; by the end of every set of pull-ups, I'm thrashing my legs around like a fish on a hook. (You know, the kind of fish with legs.)

My lack of pull-up progress really bugs me -- especially given that I've seen huge improvement in my ability to perform just about every other P90X move. I keep waiting for an "unlock" moment, when I suddenly figure out how to correct some biomechanical mistake I've been unwittingly making, and dramatically spike up my pull-up numbers. My gut tells me, though, that when it comes to pull-ups, I just need to lower my expectations.

On a more positive note: 70 Mason twists - no breaks!

P90X Day 31: Back & Biceps + Ab Ripper X

Just as I was starting to think I could hang with Tony and his cohorts as they cranked through the P90X videos, they threw me for a loop with Back & Biceps.

This relatively-short (51-minute) program was, to put it mildly, a killer. I started off just fine -- I did a set of wide grip pull-ups, lawnmowers, and the "Twenty-One" bicep curls without any problem -- and then I just fell off a cliff.

Here's the list of medieval tortures to which I was subjected this morning:

• Wide Grip Pull-Ups
• Lawnmowers
• Twenty-Ones
• One-Arm Cross-Body Curls
• Switch Grip Pull-Ups
• Elbows-Out Lawnmowers
• Standing Bicep Curls
• One-Arm Concentration Curls
• Corn Cob Pull-Ups (see below for a video clip of this obscenity)
• Reverse Grip Bent Over Rows
• Open-Arm Curls
• Static-Arm Curls
• Towel Pull-Ups
• Congdon Locomotives
• Crouching Cohen Curls
• One-Arm Corkscrew Curls
• Chin-Ups
• Seated Bent-Over Back Flys
• Curl-Up/Hammer-Downs
• Hammer Curls
• Max Rep Pull-Ups
• Supermans (Supermen?)
• In-Out Hammer Curls
• Strip-Set Curls

I started off with fairly heavy weights, but towards the end of the workout, I was astonished by the fact that I could barely manage to do curls with light (15 to 20 pound) dumbbells. And an hour and a half after finishing this workout, I still shudder at the thought of Corn Cob Pull-Ups.

Shockingly, by the time Ab Ripper X started, I actually let out a sigh of relief.