Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tony is Concerned About the Kids

Typical Tony Horton move:

He starts a set by grabbing a pair of inappropriately heavy dumbbells, and making sure everyone knows about it. "I'm pickin' FORTY-FIVES myself!" he exclaims. "I'm a FORTY-FIVE man. I got MY weapons. What do YOU got, Bobby?" Bobby -- knowing he'll have to complete every single one of his reps, had planned to use 40-pound weights, but is shamed by Tony into switching to heavier dumbbells. Tony laughs at him. (Of course, if Bobby later switches back to a lighter set of weights, Tony's line is: "Bobby picked the wrong weight; he THOUGHT he was a HERO.")

He then counts down: "Okay, everybody's doing TWENTY-FIVE REPS here. Are you ready? Five-four ... three-two ... one -- here we go!"

Tony then does a grand total of three reps, and sets his dumbbells on the floor. "I'd keep going, but I gotta CHECK ON THE KIDS," he explains. Uh, sure, Tony.

Incidentally, I'd love to keep writing about Tony's douche-tastic awesomeness, but I gotta go check on the kids.