Bloody Good

I didn't know what to expect at the gym on Friday. Tim kept saying that I was going to "love" the workout, but I can no longer tell when he's being sarcastic. (Especially after he once promised a workout I "LOOOOOOVED" -- only to spring a 2K row on us.)

Still, love it or hate it, I knew I'd have a strong reaction to the WOD, so I showed up hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Thankfully, it was indeed a good one:

"Mary" - As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:

• 5 handstand push-ups
• 10 pistols
• 15 pull-ups

All bodyweight stuff I genuinely love -- even if I still favor doing pistols on my right side over my left. I was so excited, in fact, that I completely overlooked the following pertinent details:

• There are a crapload of pull-ups in this workout.
• I hadn't been keeping up with my hand care.
• The last time we did "Mary," I entitled my post "Bloody Mary" for a reason.
• That reason? I ripped my hands open and bled all over the place.

Without bothering to tape up my hands, I jumped right in with gusto.

Now that I'm doing a one-legged kipping handstand pull-up, I wasn't getting fatigued on the wall, so I expected to do better than my last attempt. After flying through the first four rounds unbroken, I glanced at the clock and saw that only a little more than seven minutes had elapsed. I can complete 10 rounds, I told myself.

The pistols betrayed me first. After five or six rounds, I was losing steam, and my weaker left leg was buckling. To complete the workout as RXed, I'd have to do the majority of the one-legged squats on my right leg.

With a few minutes left in the workout, I still felt fresh on the handstand push-ups and pull-ups, but my sweaty hands were starting to snag on the bar. I chalked up before my ninth round of pull-ups -- but realized too late that I'd over-coated my hands. I felt the skin of my right palm rip. The skin on my ring finger followed. A few pull-ups later, I felt the wetness of blood on the bar. Distracted, I slowed my pace to a crawl.

Result: 10 rounds as RXed. I hit my goal (and PRed!), though I'm kicking myself for not taking better care of my hands.  Despite taking care not to kip wildly, I'd neglected to file down my calluses or to tape up to prevent rips. I need to be better about practicing what I preach.

Still: I love Mary. Bloody or not, I can't wait to meet her again.

[Previously: CrossFit Hand Care]

Wednesday's Workout

I was still sore from Monday's workout when we began knocking off the rust with five sets of Zercher squats. By the time the metcon was written on the board, the achiness had mostly melted away.

"Diane"

For time:

• 21 deadlifts (225 lbs / 185 lbs)
• 21 handstand push-ups
• 15 deadlifts
• 15 handstand push-ups
• 9 deadlifts
• 9 handstand push-ups

We hadn't done Diane since October of 2010 -- back when I was a relative newbie -- and I was curious how I'd stack up against my old self. Although I'm no longer a fan of heavy, high-rep deadlift metcons, I figured I could handle the RXed weight, given that I'd managed to do it two years ago. With more experience under my belt, Diane should be a piece of cake, right?

Of course not.

Although my handstand push-ups were fast and fluid -- I did almost all of 'em unbroken -- the deadlifts were agonizingly hard. My form started deteriorating by the middle of the second round, and my final nine reps were ugly, and done in doubles and singles. My hamstrings were on fire.

Still: I beat my old time by over three minutes. (So what if my only previous experience with Diane came less than six months after I started CrossFit?)

Result: 10:52 as RXed.

Monday's Workout

The one thing that got me out of bed this morning? Knowing that we're starting a new four-week cycle at CrossFit Palo Alto. Plus, after everyone in the gym did a crapload of rowing on Friday, I kind of figured the erg wouldn't be playing a major part in today's metcon. See? I'm using my noggin even at 4 in the morning.

Strength Skill:

• Kettlebell Snatches (5-5-5-5-5 per side)

It still amazes me how much I can perspire while doing just a few brief sets of kettlebell work, and with plenty of rest in-between to boot. Still, I'm pleased to report that I'm no longer terrible at kettlebell snatches. "Not bruising my forearms" used to be my primary marker of success with KB snatches, but today, I actually got to focus on cleaning up my form.

As usual for the first week in a cycle, I kept it relatively light, but I managed to work my way up to 24 kilograms. Already drenched dewy with sweat, I would've been happy to pack it in for the day, but there was the little matter of the metcon.

Metcon:

3 rounds for time of:

• 20 lateral tuck-jumps over a parallette
• 15 handstand push-ups
• 400-meter run

This looked fun (except for the running, which never looks fun). The tuck-jumps reminded me of stuff I used to do in my garage back when I was bouncing around to P90X and Insanity DVDs -- and just like the good ol' days, my jumping was less than graceful.

Having just finished a cycle of HSPUs, the handstand push-ups flew by pretty quickly -- especially now that I've discovered the one-legged kip. For the past couple of years, I've been doing strict handstand push-ups, and finding that once I ran out of gas, I was done. With the extra little oomph provided by a single-legged kip, though, I felt like I could keep cranking out HSPUs for a good, long while. I was thisclose to finishing all the handstand push-ups unbroken, but right before my forty-fifth (and final) rep, I fell away from the wall. D'oh!

Let's not talk about the running. Suffice it to say, I remain sluglike on the running path.

Result: 9:12 as RXed.

Friday's Workout

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Push-Ups (5-5-5-5-5)

My new favorite way to do handstand push-ups: Kip with one leg. Kipping keeps me from fatiguing too quickly, but I've found that when I kip with both legs, I tend to lose my balance and fall away from the wall. Keeping one leg up against the wall and kipping with the other leg is the perfect compromise: I can generate some additional pop with a strong kick while still maintaining a good amount of stability. Also, I've found that placing my hands a few inches outside of shoulder-width makes it a lot easier to push off without exhausting myself.

Between sets of HSPUs, we played around with rope climbs. A number of us were able to pull ourselves up to the top of the rig using just our hands, though it was murder on our skin.

Metcon:

6 minute AMRAP of:

• 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...! burpees
• 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...! pull-ups

Rest one minute, and then:

6 minute AMRAP of:

• 200-meter row
• 20 dumbbell push presses (10 with each arm, 45lbs / 35lbs)

I sped through the first six-minute AMRAP as fast as I could. My goal was to go at a quick, steady clip and avoid pausing, and finished with 10 complete rounds for a total of 55 burpees and 55 pull-ups.

But then came the rowing and push-presses.

The rowing wasn't bad, but the 45-pound dumbbell was too heavy for me, and slowed me down immensely. I finished only two rounds of the push presses, for a total of 40 reps.

Result: 150 total reps as RXed.

Friday's Workout

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Pushups (5-5-5-5-5)

For me, strict handstand pushups are a funny thing: I can do 'em...until I can't. Usually, in a HSPU-centric metcon, I'll be humming along just fine, stringing handstand pushups together, and then suddenly hit a wall. Once that happens, I'm lucky if I can perform two reps in a row.

I know that kipping HSPUs are supposed to help give that extra oomph! needed to push through those situations, but I've found that when I tuck both knees to my chest, I tend to lose my balance and come off the wall entirely. Today, though, Tim demonstrated a one-legged kip, keeping the other leg up and against the wall. I gave it a shot, and it worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to trying a one-legged kip the next time HSPUs show up in a metcon -- just to see if it makes a difference.

Metcon:

AMRAP in 10 minutes:

• 5 thrusters (135lbs / 95lbs)
• 10 toes-to-bar
• 5 bar-hopping burpees

I could've sworn someone kept adding weights to my barbell between rounds. Damn, those thrusters were heavy.

Result: 4 rounds + 17 reps at 115 pounds.

Wednesday's Workout

The badger crawls from Monday did a number on my shoulders. I was surprised at how a quick little workout completely wrecked me, and hoped that today's workout wouldn't require much use of my arms. A Tabata squat workout, perhaps? Or box jumps and sit-ups?

No such luck.

3 rounds of:

• 400 meter run
• 21 jerks (95# / 65#)
• 500 meter row
• 12 handstand push-ups

As you know, rowing and running aren't my favorite activities in the world, but at least I got through 'em without stopping. The jerks and HSPUs? Not so much -- especially with fried shoulders.

Result: 23:32 as RXed.

I wonder if the Turkish get-ups on Friday are going to exacerbate or alleviate my shoulder misery.

Friday's Workout

I've been dragging all week, but I was looking forward to class this morning. The reason: Handstand push-ups.

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Push-Ups (5-5-5-5-5)

Handstand push-ups are fine, but what about doing 'em from Olympic rings? After Tim demonstrated ring handstand push-ups, a bunch of us attempted ring HSPUs . Kyle gutted out a rep, but the rest of us failed miserably. I gave it a shot, and managed to get myself into the starting position without snapping my neck in two. But even after trying so hard that my eyes felt like they were going to blast out of my skull, I couldn't achieve liftoff.

Looks like I have a new goal to work towards...

Metcon:

For time:

• 100 air squats
• 1K row
• 800 meter run

Cardio. Gah!

Before the workout began, I already knew how it was all gonna go down: I'd kick ass at the air squats, I'd do okay on the row, and I'd completely suck at the run.

Lo and behold: I wasn't wrong.

I quickly ripped out the air squats, and was the first to finish and get to the erg. As usual, the rowing was...unpleasant. But I kept a decent pace, and successfully avoided looking at the monitor (I hate being reminded of how slow I'm going) until I was over a hundred strokes in. I was the second person off the erg -- but as I stumbled out of the gym to start my run, I couldn't get my legs to do more than shuffle. Within seconds, a few of my classmates passed me from behind. Damn. I found little solace in correctly predicting the outcome of today's WOD.

Result: 10:29 as RXed.

Friday's Workout

There’s something to be said about doing a hundred medicine ball cleans. And that something is: “Ouch.”

I’m getting ahead of myself.

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Pushups (5-5-5-5-5)

I love these. That is all.

Metcon:

AMRAP in 10 minutes;

• 20 medicine ball cleans (20lbs / 14lbs)
• 20 Abmat sit-ups

This looked easy. It wasn’t.

I felt great through the first couple of rounds -- but by the time I was midway through the third round, my quads were on fire. The lactic acid was searing my thighs from the inside out. Keeping my legs bent through 20 sit-ups was impossible -- I had to kick them out a few times to relieve the burn.

I felt like this guy:

Mark and I did the WOD next to each other, and we fought to a draw through the first four rounds. He whipped through the cleans, and I sped through the sit-ups. We took breaks at the same times, and when I saw him reach down and pick up his med ball, I knew it was time to pick mine up as well.

My plan was to try to sprint past him in the final round, but I ran out of gas, and Mark somehow managed to pick up speed and smoke me by 8 reps. He’s a beast, ladies and gentlemen.

Result: 5 rounds + 2 reps as RXed.

After the workout, Tim asked, “how was it?”

My response: “That felt just like a 2K row.” And I hate 2K rows.

Monday's Workout: Cabo San Lucas

We're in Cabo San Lucas for the week, and we're planning on eating like rabid wolves this week, so to kick things off right, the entire family decided to work out on the balcony this morning (minus the three-year-old, who was wandering around somewhere, munching on a scrambled egg and playing with his LEGOs). 

 M got cranking on her double-unders... 

...and air squats... 

...while Big-O got his mobility on. 

I wish I could squat as comfortably as he can. 

I decided to dash off a quick home-brewed WOD: 

50 double-unders, and then 5 rounds for time of: 

5 handstand push-ups... 

 (Whoops -- nip slip.) 

10 pistols... 

...and 15 sit-ups. 

As you can see, Big-O decided to go rip off his shirt and join in the fun.

Result: 9:13. I cooled down with another 50 double-unders.

And then we proceeded to eat, swim, and do a whole lotta nothin'. (We did eat some worms, though. M'll do all the food-related play-by-play over at Nom Nom Paleo.)

Don't you love it when people bore you to death with their vacation photos?

Friday's Workout

A fast one today.

Strength Skill:

• Push-Presses (5-5-5-3-3)

We kept it light this morning (I started at 95 pounds and finished at 125), and focused on technique -- changing directions and exploding up with speed, and keeping our bodyweight back and on our heels.

Metcon:

3 rounds for time:

• 21 kettlebell sumo deadlift high pulls (24kg / 16kg)
• 15 kettlebell swings (24kg / 16kg)
• 9 handstand push-ups

The kettlebell movements flew by, and my first round of handstand push-ups felt fine, but by the middle of the second round of HSPUs, I ran out of gas. It was a struggle to string more than three handstand push-ups together at a time, and my final HSPU rep took almost half a minute to complete.

I'll do better next time.

Result: 7:56 as RXed.

Monday's Workout: Bloody Mary

As soon as I popped out of bed this morning, I tested my right groin and my left ankle. The groin felt pretty spiffy, all things considering. It was a little sore, but nothing a little stretching couldn't handle. The ankle, on the other hand, felt like crap. I still couldn't get up on the toes of my left foot, flex properly, or put much weight on it.

Yes, it's Labor Day in the U.S. Yes, I have the day off of work. Yes, I have a pulled groin and a sprained ankle. Yes, I still hauled my butt to the 5 a.m. class at CrossFit Palo Alto.

Why? Because I'm insane. But I'm not the only one. Five of us nutjobs showed up before dawn to get our WOD on. And it was a doozy:

"Mary" - As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:

• 5 handstand push-ups
• 10 pistols
• 15 pull-ups

I knew I wouldn't be able to do the pistols with my left foot. I've always been terrible at single-legged squats on my left leg -- and with a bum ankle, it was a no-go. But my right groin felt okay, so I decided to crank 'em out exclusively with my right leg. I knew I'd pay for this decision with a super-sore right butt cheek, but what's one more pain in the ass (literally)?

The Terminator and I set up next to each other, and when the clock started, we went head-to-head. That man robot is fast. Every time I pulled slightly ahead, he'd close the gap. I did my damnedest to stay a few reps ahead of him, but we traded leads a couple of times.

It wasn't until the seventh round that I noticed that the pull-up bar was slick with blood.

The skin surrounding the calluses on both my hands had torn off. I've torn my hands doing pull-ups before, but this is the first time I've ever noticed it in the middle of the workout. I was leaking DNA everywhere.

My right hand was particularly bloody, so when Tim handed me a paper towel, I used it to sop up some of the blood. I then wrapped it around the bar so I could get a better grip to finish my pull-ups. I was determined to finish nine full rounds, but in the end, I was one rep short.

The funny thing is that during the WOD, nothing hurt. Not my ankle (except the one time I came off the wall after a set of HSPUs and landed awkwardly on my left foot), not my groin, not my right butt cheek, and not my hands. When the 20 minutes were up, I was more pissed about not hitting my goal of 9 rounds than anything else.

The pain didn't hit until a few minutes after the workout. Others in the class had torn hands, too, and one by one, we marched into the restroom to rinse off the blood and yelp as the water stung our hands.

(Want to see a barftastic photo of one of my hands post-workout? No you don't. I'm pretty sure you don't want to see this.)

As I type this, my hands are bandaged up like mummies. I feel like an absolute idiot for not taking better care of my hands and letting my calluses build up enough to tear my skin. My butt cheek has been seizing up all day, and my left ankle is still throbbing. But on the plus side, my groin feels like a million bucks!

Result: 8 rounds + 29 reps as RXed.

Special thanks to Rachel for cleaning the blood off my pull-up bar for me, and to Graeme for picking up the bloody paper towels I'd strewn across the floor.

Tomorrow: A post on hand care.

Friday's Workout

"Don't worry if your legs are sore from Wednesday," Tim announced this morning during our warmups. "You won't be using 'em to lift today." I heard a couple of people sigh with relief, but I already knew what he had in store for us:

For time:

• Run 400 meters
• 21-15-9:
  
  • Handstand push-ups
  • Ring dips
  • Push-ups
• Row 500 meters

This looked virtually identical to the "JT Sandwich" WOD we did a few months back. In March, it had taken me over 22 minutes to complete this workout.

"I can do better'n that," I muttered under my breath. But I'm not sure I believed it.

In the end, I certainly didn't break any land speed records today, and my arms are now just as wrecked as my legs, but I shaved more than two minutes off my previous time. The difference? I FINALLY STARTED KIPPING THE HANDSTAND PUSH-UPS.



Until today, I'd insisted on doing strict HSPUs, but after watching the Terminator rock 'em out with explosive kips, I knew I had to give 'em a shot if I were to have any shot at beating him. I didn't, of course -- he beat me by over two and a half minutes! -- but I was happy to finish in under 20 minutes nonetheless.

Result: 19:52 as RXed.

Coming Soon...

I took over two thousand photos in the three days I was at the CrossFit Games, and most of them are straight-up crap, so it's going to take me a while to edit 'em down and write up my thoughts about the weekend.

To tide you over 'til then, here's a photo I took of Josh Bridges (the second-fittest man on the planet!) during Event 7 as he busts out some handstand push-ups. 

And here's a glimpse of tonight's afterparty hosted by SICFIT:

Sadly, I couldn't stay -- I have to get ready for my drive back north in a few hours. No rest for the weary!

Friday's Workout: Slow Burn

M and I woke up late this morning. By the time we arrived at Kauai CrossFit after a long drive down the Kuhio Highway, it was a couple of minutes after 6, and Jerome had already begun leading the group through some light stretching.

Thankfully, we didn't miss any of the scheduled warm-up:

Jump rope for 3 minutes, and then three rounds of:

• 30 seconds of handstand hold
• 30 seconds of chin-over-bar (basically, a static hold at the top of a pull-up)
• 30 seconds of L-sit
• 30 seconds of mountain climbers

Yes, the warm-up was just 9 minutes long, but by the end, I'd already worked up a nice sweat. (Which, by the way, isn't hard to do while exercising outside in the warm, muggy air.)

Next: the main event.

Metcon:

As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes:

• 5 handstand push-ups
• 10 dumbbell ground-to-overheads (35lbs / 25lbs)
• 15 toes-to-bar
• 20 bent-over dumbbell rows (35lbs /25lbs)

I knew I could do all these movements using the RXed weights (i.e., a pair of 35-pound dumbbells), and I wasn't concerned about the toes-to-bar -- but I also recognized from past experience that the HSPUs would take me forever to finish. (And possibly cause facial hemorrhages to boot.) All of this was expected.

What I didn't expect was that the dumbbell moves would take me as long as they did. I especially struggled with the bent-over rows; although I have a vague recollection of doing similar exercises in P90X, I'm rusty. My form was ugly, and I stopped for more breaks than I'd like to admit.

During one of my breathers, Jerome walked over and shared with me that the original workout as listed on the Main Site was "an 8-minute AMRAP" incorporating similar movements -- not a 20-minute one. "But there's no way the other gym members would go for that," he continued. "So we threw this one together last night."

On the one hand, I REALLY wish Jerome hadn't told me that he'd extended the length of the WOD by 250 percent. But on the other hand, I felt like a badass (albeit a slow one) every time I flipped upside down against the wall to eke out another HSPU or five.

Result: 3 rounds plus 39 reps as RXed. I was the only person in our class to do this workout RXed -- but I was also the slowest. Ugh. I'm determined to do better next time, but I guess "next time" will have to wait -- we're flying back home tomorrow.

Nonetheless, mark my words: You'll definitely see both of us back at Kauai CrossFit again.

Friday's Workout: The Big Boy

"Kettlebells," I thought to myself this morning as I changed out of my pajamas. "We haven't done anything with kettlebells in a while."

When I first began CrossFitting, we played with kettlebells all the time; I still fondly(?) remember swinging kettlebells with XFitMama, the Marine and the Terminator out on the sidewalk in front of the old flower shop in the morning darkness. I quickly got hooked. After reading Pavel Tsatsouline's "Enter the Kettlebell," I bought a 35-pound (16 kg) kettlebell from Dragon Door and practiced heaving the thing around in my garage. I later moved up to a 53-pound (24 kg) kettlebell, and recently, I've been using the 62-pound (28 kg) in metcons at the gym.

But in the past couple of months, kettlebells have largely been absent from our M/W/F programming at CrossFit Palo Alto -- so I was certain they would make a return appearance soon.

(This is called foreshadowing, kids.)

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Push-Ups (5 sets of 5)

As usual, I had fun practicing HSPUs -- and this time, I have the burst blood vessels to prove it.

But let's get to the good stuff.

Hemorrhages in Mah Face!

Look: I got into a fight!

Not really. I don't have chicken pox. Nor did I scrub my face with poison oak.

But by stupidly holding my breath while practicing strict handstand push-ups this morning, I evidently burst a bunch of capillaries in both sides of my face. Note to self: If the blood pooling in your head makes your eyes feel like they're about to explode, consider relieving some of the pressure by BREATHING. Or learn to kip.

I've diagnosed myself (using the Internet -- a.k.a., the most reliable medical resource in the known universe) -- with exercise-induced petechiae. It's often associated with people who have been asphyxiated, but it's harmless, and evidently not too uncommon among folks doing intense exercise (though most reports involve petechiae on runners' legs). Believe it or not, petechiae can appear after just a hard bout of crying or coughing.

With any luck, I should be less splotchy in five to seven days. But in the meantime, I guess I'll have to settle for looking super badass.

Friday's Workout: Upside

I woke up at 3 in the morning and couldn’t manage to fall back asleep until just after 4 a.m. Fifteen minutes later, my alarm went off. Perfect.

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Push-Ups (5 sets of 5)

They felt good, despite lingering soreness in my shoulders and triceps from Wednesday’s press-centric WOD. I did an extra set of 5 just to see how it might feel to have to crank out the 30 HSPUs programmed in Workout 1 of the Regional Qualifiers.

My only complaint: When I’m upside down, the surge of blood to my head makes my eyeballs want to pop out of my skull and shoot across the gym floor.

Metcon:

3 rounds for time:

• 12 power cleans (135lbs/95lbs)
• 12 pull-ups
• 400-meter run

The RXed weight of 135 pounds is equivalent to my bodyweight, and it also happens to be my one-rep max. So naturally, I wimped out and went with 115-pound power cleans instead. I wish I could say that in retrospect, I should’ve gone heavier -- but in all honesty, the 115 pounds I used for the WOD today was more than enough to punch me in the face. And in the groin. Simultaneously. And repeatedly.

Still, this was a fun one. I love cleans and pull-ups. And the running wasn’t terrible, either. Thumbs up.

Result: 12:02. And in case you’re wondering: Yes, the Terminator smoked me (again).

Friday's Workout: Push It Real Good

This week's programming at CrossFit Palo Alto has been muy, muy bueno. It's not just the quick, challenging metcon sessions that I'm raving about; I'm also a big fan of the strength workouts we're doing in this cycle: Heavy thrusters on Monday, deadlifts on Wednesday, and today, handstand push-ups. These might just be my three favorite strength-biased exercises -- mostly because I'm at the point where I'm proficient enough at them to shift my focus to fine-tuning my form and adding more weight.

Strength Skill:

• Handstand Push-Ups (5 sets of 5)

I love practicing HSPUs as a strength move, though they tire me out pretty quickly. Twenty-five of these -- with breaks after each five -- was perfect, but the next time high-rep HSPUs are programmed as part of a WOD, I know I'll be in for a world of hurt. Tim's promised to program Workout 1 from the Regionals sometime soon (which involves running 1K, cranking out 30 HSPUs, and then rowing 1K). I know I'll get through it fine, but I can't say I'm looking forward to it.

Today's metcon, after the jump...

Wednesday's Workout

A brutally good one today.

For time:

• Row 500 meters
• 21-15-9:
  
  • Handstand push-ups
  • Ring dips
  • Push-ups
• Row 500 meters

In other words, today's workout was "JT" sandwiched between a couple of stints on the erg. When Tim wrote this up on the whiteboard, I was excited: I love bodyweight-focused WODs, and I knew I could do this one as RXed.

It didn't take long, though, for me to hit the wall. The first 500-meter row went smoothly, and so did the first dozen or so of the handstand push-ups. I was cruising along...until I wasn't. Weirdly enough, the HSPUs didn't get gradually more difficult -- rather, they just suddenly went to shit. I had to pop off the wall a couple of times to recover before finishing the first set of 21.

Similarly, the ring dips weren't too bad -- at first. And then I crashed and burned some more.

I couldn't wait for the push-ups. "Finally," I thought to myself, "something I can just crank out."

Uh, not so much. "OH MY GOD," I wheezed as my elbows buckled and my arms collapsed from under me. My upper appendages had turned into overcooked spaghetti. It was humbling.

The rest of the workout didn't get any easier -- but I'll be damned if I wasn't going complete every last rep. I found myself feverishly (and weirdly) rapping my knuckles on my head and exhorting myself -- out loud -- to break up the remaining reps into smaller sets ("TWO AND TWO -- C'MON!") Tim trotted over to offer encouragement and urged me to try kipping the HSPUs and ring dips, but sadly, my lack of physical coordination kept me from effectively adopting his tips in the middle of the WOD.

In the end, I had to eke out my reps in ones and twos -- but hey: I finished.

And then it was back to the erg.

The final 500-meter row was the awkward icing on the ugly cake. My legs were still fresh, so I had no trouble pushing off, but my entire upper body was fried. It took everything I had to keep pulling on that chain. With just over 100 meters left, I told myself "Power 10" and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, it was over.

Result: 22:16 as RXed.

Jamming a sweet potato in my mouth, I staggered over to the rest of the 5 a.m. nutjobs and started stretching. I haven't stopped since. My co-workers already think I'm a crackpot for stocking my office drawer with canned sardines and coconut flakes -- but doing arm circles in my office all day probably weirded them out even more.

Friday's Workout

This morning's workout was awesome, but I wasn't. I kind of sucked.

4 rounds for time:

• Run 400 meters
• 10 handstand push-ups
• 12 power cleans

The folks who showed up yesterday at CrossFit Palo Alto suffered through the Filthy Fifty(!), so today's metcon looked tame in comparison. And I was fully prepared to kill it. My Cindy-related aches and pains were gone, and I was feeling good. I had to take a few pounds off the RXed weight (of 135 pounds) for the power cleans, but I was excited about the handstand push-ups. They're fun! I told myself.

And honestly, the first three rounds weren't too bad. Yes, the handstand push-ups were getting increasing difficult as the workout progressed, but I was still well ahead of most of my classmates -- that is, until the fourth and final round. That's when my ability to crank out HSPUs just up and disappeared, and I couldn't seem to get it back. I struggled through my last six reps, performing them (barely) as singles. It took forever, and they were far from pretty.

Here's how it went down: Of the nine people in class (another new 5 a.m. attendance record!), I was in a respectable third place after the first round, a still-decent fourth place after the second round, a middle-of-the-pack fifth place after the third round, and DEAD LAST at the end. Result: 19:53.

But hey: It's good to get utterly humiliated by a workout once in a while, right?