- Row 500 meters
- Handstand push-ups
- Ring dips
- Row 500 meters
It didn't take long, though, for me to hit the wall. The first 500-meter row went smoothly, and so did the first dozen or so of the handstand push-ups. I was cruising along...until I wasn't. Weirdly enough, the HSPUs didn't get gradually more difficult -- rather, they just suddenly went to shit. I had to pop off the wall a couple of times to recover before finishing the first set of 21.
Similarly, the ring dips weren't too bad -- at first. And then I crashed and burned some more.
I couldn't wait for the push-ups. "Finally," I thought to myself, "something I can just crank out."
Uh, not so much. "OH MY GOD," I wheezed as my elbows buckled and my arms collapsed from under me. My upper appendages had turned into overcooked spaghetti. It was humbling.
The rest of the workout didn't get any easier -- but I'll be damned if I wasn't going complete every last rep. I found myself feverishly (and weirdly) rapping my knuckles on my head and exhorting myself -- out loud -- to break up the remaining reps into smaller sets ("TWO AND TWO -- C'MON!") Tim trotted over to offer encouragement and urged me to try kipping the HSPUs and ring dips, but sadly, my lack of physical coordination kept me from effectively adopting his tips in the middle of the WOD.
In the end, I had to eke out my reps in ones and twos -- but hey: I finished.
And then it was back to the erg.
The final 500-meter row was the awkward icing on the ugly cake. My legs were still fresh, so I had no trouble pushing off, but my entire upper body was fried. It took everything I had to keep pulling on that chain. With just over 100 meters left, I told myself "Power 10" and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, it was over.
Result: 22:16 as RXed.
Jamming a sweet potato in my mouth, I staggered over to the rest of the 5 a.m. nutjobs and started stretching. I haven't stopped since. My co-workers already think I'm a crackpot for stocking my office drawer with canned sardines and coconut flakes -- but doing arm circles in my office all day probably weirded them out even more.