Monday, September 5, 2011

Monday's Workout: Bloody Mary

As soon as I popped out of bed this morning, I tested my right groin and my left ankle. The groin felt pretty spiffy, all things considering. It was a little sore, but nothing a little stretching couldn't handle. The ankle, on the other hand, felt like crap. I still couldn't get up on the toes of my left foot, flex properly, or put much weight on it.


Yes, it's Labor Day in the U.S. Yes, I have the day off of work. Yes, I have a pulled groin and a sprained ankle. Yes, I still hauled my butt to the 5 a.m. class at CrossFit Palo Alto.

Why? Because I'm insane. But I'm not the only one. Five of us nutjobs showed up before dawn to get our WOD on. And it was a doozy:

"Mary" - As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:
  • 5 handstand push-ups
  • 10 pistols
  • 15 pull-ups
I knew I wouldn't be able to do the pistols with my left foot. I've always been terrible at single-legged squats on my left leg -- and with a bum ankle, it was a no-go. But my right groin felt okay, so I decided to crank 'em out exclusively with my right leg. I knew I'd pay for this decision with a super-sore right butt cheek, but what's one more pain in the ass (literally)?

The Terminator and I set up next to each other, and when the clock started, we went head-to-head. That man robot is fast. Every time I pulled slightly ahead, he'd close the gap. I did my damnedest to stay a few reps ahead of him, but we traded leads a couple of times.

It wasn't until the seventh round that I noticed that the pull-up bar was slick with blood.


The skin surrounding the calluses on both my hands had torn off. I've torn my hands doing pull-ups before, but this is the first time I've ever noticed it in the middle of the workout. I was leaking DNA everywhere.

My right hand was particularly bloody, so when Tim handed me a paper towel, I used it to sop up some of the blood. I then wrapped it around the bar so I could get a better grip to finish my pull-ups. I was determined to finish nine full rounds, but in the end, I was one rep short.

The funny thing is that during the WOD, nothing hurt. Not my ankle (except the one time I came off the wall after a set of HSPUs and landed awkwardly on my left foot), not my groin, not my right butt cheek, and not my hands. When the 20 minutes were up, I was more pissed about not hitting my goal of 9 rounds than anything else.

The pain didn't hit until a few minutes after the workout. Others in the class had torn hands, too, and one by one, we marched into the restroom to rinse off the blood and yelp as the water stung our hands.

(Want to see a barftastic photo of one of my hands post-workout? No you don't. I'm pretty sure you don't want to see this.)


As I type this, my hands are bandaged up like mummies. I feel like an absolute idiot for not taking better care of my hands and letting my calluses build up enough to tear my skin. My butt cheek has been seizing up all day, and my left ankle is still throbbing. But on the plus side, my groin feels like a million bucks!

Result: 8 rounds + 29 reps as RXed.

Special thanks to Rachel for cleaning the blood off my pull-up bar for me, and to Graeme for picking up the bloody paper towels I'd strewn across the floor.

Tomorrow: A post on hand care.