Sigh.

With P90X super-fan Paul Ryan named as Mitt Romney's running mate, I sometimes wish I was still an anonymous, snarky, super-enthusiastic P90X blogger. I'd have a field day with all this stuff:

 

I still get a kick out of knowing that members of Congress are spending hours working out with a porn star, though.

The Joe Bovino Interview (Updated)

[4/23/12 - Content removed at the request of Joe Bovino.]

The P90X Book Club

Quite a few of the folks in the P90X videos have made films, ranging from comedies to dramas to hardcore porn. But did you know that even more of 'em write books?

Tony Horton wrote one. (IMHO, it's not very good, but whatever.)

So did Pam the Blam (under her "Nashieqa Washington" pen name).

And let's not forget Mark Sisson.

The latest author to emerge from the P90X ranks? Joe Bovino.

I know it's been awhile, but you remember Joe from the "P90X Shoulders & Arms" video, right? The guy with fully-shaved armpits? He's written a book describing the "ethnic and regional subcultures of American women" in the format of a bird watching guidebook.

And no, I'm not making this up.

You have no idea how much I wish I had a copy of the book to review for you, but the "Field Guide to Chicks" isn't out yet. You can, however, click here to visit Joe's Facebook page and check out a preview of the book.



I swear: P90X is a gift that just keeps giving.

(Thanks to David Kohrell for the heads-up!)

Sunday's Workout

M and I tried out Chalene Johnson's "Stretch 40" DVD from her TurboFire series this morning. It's a decent combination of yoga moves (sun salutations and some Warrior poses) and stretching exercises, but in retrospect, I think I should have just stayed in bed for another hour instead. Despite Chalene's shiny-happy peppiness, I remained tired and cranky. The past week has been exhausting. I need some sleep. Or maybe I'm still weirded out by Maren's porn video.

Maren's Into More Than Just German Potato Soup

I'm not sure how to break this to you, my fellow P90X-philes. Maren -- "German potato soup" Maren -- Maren who does pull-ups like crazy in P90X Chest & Back -- Maren who lived in Pam the Blam's apartment building -- Maren who can hold a wall squat in excess of 11 minutes -- our Maren...

Wait. I think you need to sit down first.

Okay. Ready?

Maren used to perform in hardcore porn videos.

More after the jump. (Note: Adult content ahead. Clicking the "Read More" link is work-safe, but links to material outside of this blog are not. Consider yourself warned...)

Round 2 / Day 50: P90X Chest & Back + Ab Ripper X

Sometime during my workout this morning, it dawned on me that Maren's super-awesome. She cranks out a ton of reps in Chest & Back, and she does it all with a big grin. She can hang with Tony and Fifer and Bobby Stephenson despite being half their size. And there's no question that Maren can out-P90X any one of us. (The woman can hold a wall squat for more than 11 minutes!)

Plus, there's the whole German potato soup thing. Maren kicks ass.

My Interview with Pam the Blam - Part Three

Parts One and Two were just the appetizers, folks. Part Three of my interview with Pam the Blam is the main course: It's all about the P90X video shoot.

Check it out after the jump.

Scotty Fifer Saves the World

Scott Fifer appears in just one P90X video (Chest & Back), but I curse his name every other day during Ab Ripper X. Whenever Tony maniacally announces that "IT'S TIME FOR FIFER SCISSORS," P90Xers everywhere emit a collective groan.

I've learned, however, that Mr. Fancy Blue Shoes is good at more than just scissoring his legs up and down.

For starters, as evidenced by his Class of 1979 yearbook photo, he sported an awesome Mark (Dorothy?) Hamill wedge cut in high school (though recent photos show that his Luke Skywalker hair has apparently gone MIA):

During college, he was a Senate aide to the late Ted Kennedy.  After graduation, he studied acting in New York for a year, attended law school in Boston, and toiled as an associate in a prominent (but now defunct) law firm for a number of years.

Fifer then relocated to California to become a screenwriter, penning scripts for "Beverly Hills 90210" and other television shows.  He co-wrote a bunch of award shows (including the Emmy Awards), and produced a Lifetime TV movie-of-the-week called "Twice Upon a Time" (starring Molly Ringwald and her dad).

But most impressive of all?  Fifer created and leads a prominent and respected non-profit foundation dedicated to the care of orphans and vulnerable children in other countries. According to his organization's website:

GO Campaign raises awareness and funds for those programs that would otherwise fall through the cracks, those programs which provide basic human needs to children such as shelter, food, clean water, education, medical care, vocational training, and income-generating activities.

In partnership with small grassroots organizations in the developing world, GO Campaign is currently helping children in Rwanda, Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Cambodia, China, Guatamala and Peru by funneling resources to programs run by local community leaders.  (To find out how you can help, visit GO Campaign's website.)

I'm still sore (literally) at Scott Fifer for inflicting pain upon my midsection three times a week, but how can I send hate mail to a guy who's done so much for underprivileged kids across the globe?

And to top it all off, he just started another round of P90X last month with Bobby Stephenson and Tony Horton, thus reuniting all the guys in the Chest & Back video.  (Maren and her German potato soup don't appear to have been invited, though, so maybe I can still muster up a bit of indignance towards Scott Fifer.)

P90X Day 57: Chest & Back + Ab Ripper X

This workout seriously fucked me up today.  I expected the start of Phase 3 to be tough, but I also thought I'd mastered Chest & Back by the end of Phase 1.  Clearly, I was delusional.  Before this morning, I'd started to miss Scott Fifer and Maren S. (of "German potato soup!" fame), but after today's excruciating Chest & Back session, I'm relieved that I'll only see them one more time before my 90 days are done.

The good news?  On just about every exercise (standard push-ups, wide-grip pull-ups, military push-ups, reverse-grip chin-ups, etc.), I increased my reps.  And although I was terrible at Diamond Push-Ups during Phase 1 (I did a lot of them from my knees), I cranked out both sets today with good, clean form.

But sadly, there's more bad news than good.  First of all, early in the workout, my shoulders started stiffening and locking up.  Soon, every time I attempted a pull-up, I felt like I couldn't get my arms over my head.  The intensity of the various push-up moves depleted me; then, when I turned to do my pull-ups and chin-ups, I had to exert myself more than usual, and ended up thrashing around just to get up for my last few reps.  I had to pause the DVD and stop for a couple of breaks -- something I haven't had to do with Chest & Back since Day 1.  Plus, I didn't increase the weights I used for Heavy Pants, Lawnmowers or Back Flys.  Worst of all, I completely ran out of gas as I dove into my last set of Dive Bomber Push-Ups.  My arms turned to jelly, and I collapsed.  I tried to complete the set by modifying the move and starting from my knees instead.  No go.  I did another belly flop.  Thankfully, it was the final exercise in Chest & Back, so I moved on to Ab Ripper X (which also proved to be a greater challenge for me than usual), but this marks the first time I didn't fully complete a P90X workout.

M thinks I'm just feeling off today because we stayed out late last night, and didn't hit the sack until close to 2 a.m.  (This morning, we didn't roll out of bed until 9 a.m. -- almost four hours later than usual.)  I have a different theory, though: I suspect that this shock to the system was intentional, and that Tony wanted to make clear that Phase 3 or not, we're still his bitches.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually relieved that I have Plyo tomorrow.