Round 3 / Day 92: P90X+ Total Body Plus + ChaLEAN Extreme Dynamic Flow Yoga

Total Body Plus offers a ton of variety, but -- true to form -- I've found a nit to pick: Many of the names Tony assigns to the exercises are totally non-descriptive, and he doesn't bother to give detailed instruction. If you've never encountered this workout before, chances are you have no idea what Tony's talking about when he tells you to crank out sets of "O-Crunch Push-Ups," "Chuck-Up Xs," "Bella Twists," and "Kid Plays." Even more confusingly, the "Plyo Push-Ups" in Total Body Plus are totally different from (and much easier than) the ones Tony does in P90X Chest, Shoulders & Triceps. Since I only dust off this workout once every month or so, I find myself frequently stopping just to watch the video to figure out how to actually perform a "Lara Lunge Crunch," and to ponder whether Tony's reaching too deep into his bag of tricks in an attempt to keep things interesting. Who's Bella? And Chuck? And Lara?

I don't need oddly-named exercise variations in order to stave off boredom. This evening, in the aftermath of a too-big barbecue dinner, I joined M as she did the Dynamic Flow Yoga routine that came in her ChaLEAN Extreme Deluxe Upgrade Package. We each strapped on a pair of hand weights and started doing Vinyasas and Warrior poses, and pretty soon, I was sweatier than Ed Asner in a sauna. It was a great change of pace -- and I appreciated the fact that Chalene Johnson didn't go out and name a bunch of moves after her mailman and her next-door-neighbor's ex-boyfriend.

Round 2 / Day 59: P90X Chest Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

My workout this morning felt easy, which means I probably dogged it. I need to push myself with heavier weights and/or more reps, but I didn't do either today. Even the moves that used to freak me out (e.g., Airborne Plyo Push-Ups) didn't present much of a challenge. I've plateaued.

I don't mean to suggest that I'm too cool for school, though. One look at Jim Bathurst's Beast Skills website makes it painfully obvious that I'm just a puny wannabe. Check out Jim's tutorials, in which he demonstrates how to crank out ridiculously insane bodyweight exercises like Clapping Handstand Push-Ups and the Human Flag.

Round 2 / Day 8: P90X Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

I was about three-quarters of the way through Chest, Shoulders & Triceps this morning when my almost-five-year-old son popped his sleepy head in the garage. "Go back to bed. It's only 6:30," I wheezed. Although he made some lame excuse ("I, uh, need a Kleenex," he whined -- ignoring the fact that there's a box of tissues three inches from his bed), he left and shut the door behind him.

But my focus was gone. I knew there was a good chance my son never made it back to his room, and was now roaming the house unsupervised. But being a terrible and irresponsible father, I pushed this thought out of my head and finished my last six exercises: Plyo Push-Ups (I can now finally match Tony by doing 20 airborne versions), Slow-Mo Throws (which I remain unable to do with proper form), Front-to-Back Triceps Extensions (easy today because I used a too-light weight), One-Arm Balance Push-Ups (super wobbly today), Fly-Row-Presses (fun and challenging, as usual), and Dumbbell Cross-Body Blows. Ab Ripper X, however, would have to wait until evening, after we'd put the boys to bed.

When I stepped back into the house, my kid was standing in the hallway in his PJs, peeping around the corner at me. I have no idea how long he'd been standing there, waiting for me to wrap up my Tony-time.

Again: I am a terrible and irresponsible father.

Vacation: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps

Just because I'm vacationing in Maui doesn't mean I'm content to sit on my ass all week.

After a morning of swimming with the kids and lazing around, I wrote down all the P90X Chest, Shoulders & Triceps moves and headed to the hotel's fitness center to approximate the workout as best I could.

Pros: No Tony, and I could work out at my own pace.

Cons: The fitness center didn't have a complete set of dumbbells, and I felt kind of stupid doing Plyo Push-Ups in front of other people. The soothing spa music piped into the gym didn't help. And to be perfectly honest, I kind of missed the distractingly cheesy entertainment offered (in spades) by Tony.

P90X Day 78: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

It's too bad I just finished Chest, Shoulders & Triceps for the last time (at least until I complete my first round of 90 days). Now that I can actually perform all the exercises in this workout, I'm totally digging it -- including the moves I couldn't previously handle, like One-Arm Push-Ups and Airborne Plyo Push-Ups.

I'm also sad that I won't get to hear Tony call Dave the Karate Man / Substitute Teacher by the wrong name (e.g., "Sean," "Jason") anymore.

P90X Day 64: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

I thoroughly enjoyed Chest, Shoulders & Triceps this morning. My form continues to improve, and both my reps and weights are increasing. I'm positively killing the Tony-style airborne plyo push-ups, and I'm now able to squeeze out a respectable number of one-armed push-ups, too. I'm even getting the hang of the various triceps moves.

But thank God I didn't have to do any pull-ups or chin-ups today. I'm having a hell of a time with them. Although I'm now able to gut out almost twice the number of unassisted pull-ups as I could on Day 1, I've been stuck on a plateau for a while.  My rep count hasn't seen much upward movement in weeks, which frustrates and bewilders me. Why is it that I see significant progress in my ability to perform virtually all of the P90X moves except for pull-ups and chin-ups?

I don't have Back & Biceps until the day after tomorrow, and I'm already dreading my rendezvous with the pull-up bar in my garage.

P90X Day 43: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

16 fully-airborne plyo push-ups! 75 Mason twists! And I got through today's workout without collapsing on my face even once!

My pride is blunted, though, by my sucktastically unsuccessful attempts to properly perform one-handed push-ups.

But speaking of push-ups: M, who started ChaLEAN Extreme last month not able to complete a single standard (non-knee) push-up, can now crank out 7 in a row!

P90X Day 36: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

Today's Chest, Shoulders & Triceps workout was a welcome reprieve for my tired, wobbly legs. Plus, I've discovered that I love (almost) all of the push-up variations in this routine. I'm attacking each set with equal amounts of glee and fear, and feeling pretty good about being able to tackle the "difficult" versions of each move -- with one huge exception: I'm ridiculously awful at one-handed push-ups. I can only muster up two before finishing the set with my knees on the floor.

My proudest moment: I was too shocked/awed/scared last week to even attempt Tony's airborne plyo push-ups, but I decided to give it a shot this morning, and ended up completing 12(!) in a row. I totally collapsed, though, on my thirteenth rep, landing awkwardly on my chest and face, with my legs splayed out. I looked like a crime scene photo.

Fun times.

P90X Day 29: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

There are times when Tony Horton absolutely transcends his onscreen douchiness.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying he's not annoying or weird, or that he's actually funny. But despite his regrettable Forrest Gump impressions, dick-ish nicknaming of others, and odd flirtation with/sexual harassment of Dreya Weber, I have to hand it to Tony: He can bust out some INSANE moves.

In the middle of the Chest, Shoulders & Triceps workout, I went slack-jawed with amazement as Tony demonstrated his version of a Plyo Push-Up: At the bottom of a standard push-up, he exploded up -- launching both hands and both feet up off the floor -- clapped his hands in mid-air, and then landed in a push-up position again. He repeated this over and over again. And at the time this video was shot, he was 45 years old.

I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor.