P90X Day 77: Cardio X

Given yesterday's snoozefest of a workout, I felt obligated do something more than just X Stretch today. Still, I didn't want to go full-tilt before the start of my final non-recovery week, so I popped in the Cardio X DVD.

It certainly burned some calories and got my heart pumping, but the video also reminded me how annoying Tony Horton can be. I've gotten so used to his weirdness on the other DVDs that I no longer notice when he quotes Forrest Gump or when he half-jokingly suggests that his own face is "perfection." But having only watched Cardio X once before, I wasn't prepared for Tony's god-awful Arnold Schwarzenegger shtick. I was fascinated and horrified, but I suppose every big-and-buff trainer is expected to bust out in a Hans & Franz routine once in a while.

P90X Day 29: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps + Ab Ripper X

There are times when Tony Horton absolutely transcends his onscreen douchiness.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying he's not annoying or weird, or that he's actually funny. But despite his regrettable Forrest Gump impressions, dick-ish nicknaming of others, and odd flirtation with/sexual harassment of Dreya Weber, I have to hand it to Tony: He can bust out some INSANE moves.

In the middle of the Chest, Shoulders & Triceps workout, I went slack-jawed with amazement as Tony demonstrated his version of a Plyo Push-Up: At the bottom of a standard push-up, he exploded up -- launching both hands and both feet up off the floor -- clapped his hands in mid-air, and then landed in a push-up position again. He repeated this over and over again. And at the time this video was shot, he was 45 years old.

I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor.

P90X Day 21: X Stretch

I kept hitting the snooze button this morning, but finally dragged myself out of bed and did an X Stretch session. It's fine, and I enjoyed the neck stretches, but I'm beat. I'm glad I didn't have to pound out another intense weight resistance or cardio session today. I'm looking forward to laying off the weights in Week 4, but I'm also starting to get a little apprehensive about Core Synergistics. I hear it's not what one would expect during a so-called "recovery" week.

Also: I have a feeling Tony's a big Tom Hanks fan. In X Stretch, he does yet another horrible Forrest Gump impression: "PAY-pull call MAY Forrest GUMP!" Indeed.

P90X Day 18: Yoga X

Leave it to King Douche to work in a really atrocious Forrest Gump impression ("Ah got shot in the but-tocks") while leading a YOGA SESSION.