How to Take a Kick to the Crotch

How does one survive a sledgehammer kick to the nuts?

Rod Sacharnoski, Creator of Combat Ki: "When I first began taking kicks to the testicles, there was a lot of fear involved. So I started to develop a system where I could get myself to higher levels of accepting the pain and nausea. It takes about five years of good training."

And what does that "good training" require? Lots and lots of kicks to the balls. You know, so you can get used to it.





Science is cool. But:

• I'm not sure it makes sense to take thousands of kicks to the groin in order to...withstand a kick to the groin.

• Trust me: You will not be kicked in the testicles with such frequency and force that you must devote five years of your life to prepare for its eventuality. Of course, this assumes that you're not: (1) a belligerent drunk, (2) an MMA fighter, (3) a hand-to-hand combat specialist, (4) a bouncer, (5) a stuntman, (6) a ninja, (7) a total asshole, or (8) a teenage boy. (And if you are all of the above, I salute you, sir.)

• Even if you are, in fact, highly prone to having a foot lodged in your crotch, it's far cheaper and less painful to BUY AN ATHLETIC CUP. They cost, like, five bucks at Walmart. Even the fanciest ones'll set you back less than $25.

• Kicking each other in the nuts may look like a pleasant way to pass the time, but don't try this at home, kids. It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle.

For the Win

Sometimes, after a hard-fought victory, you just gotta vomit everywhere. Twice.

Fight Gone Bad

So much for resting on the weekends. This is what I did today.

Fight Gone Bad is a WOD that also doubles as CrossFit's signature annual charity fundraising event. It started five years ago, and has since raised over $2 million. This year, the three nonprofits supported by Fight Gone Bad 5 are LIVESTRONG, The Wounded Warrior Project and the CrossFit Foundation.

And why's it called "Fight Gone Bad"? Because after finishing this workout for the first time, UFC champ B.J. Penn said: "That was like a fight gone bad."

Here's the workout: You rotate through five stations, spending one minute at each:

• Wall ball: 20 pound ball, 10 foot target. Each rep is scored as 1 point.
• Sumo deadlift high pull: 75 pounds. Each rep is scored as 1 point.
• Box Jump: 20″ box. Each rep is scored as 1 point.
• Barbell push-press: 75 pounds. Each rep is scored as 1 point.
• Row: Your butt off. Each calorie burned (according to the monitor) is scored as 1 point.

Rest one minute, and then repeat the five stations. Rest another minute, and then repeat 'em all again. Three rounds in total.

The clock isn't reset or stopped between exercises; someone just calls out “rotate,” and you immediately stagger from one station to next.



Almost two dozen of us packed into our little CrossFit box for Fight Gone Bad (and for the post-workout birthday barbecue for Tim, our coach). Many of us dragged along family members and friends, too. I brought my kids (ages 2 and 5), who watched (with almost zero interest) as multiple heats of sweaty men and women jumped, rowed, and frantically heaved medicine balls and barbells around the gym.

You may not believe this, but my plan was to just watch everyone else pummel themselves with Fight Gone Bad. It's not that I didn't want to join in, but M's working this weekend, so I was supposed to be keeping an eye on the kids -- something I wouldn't be able to do if I were in the middle of a long WOD. But a few of the other adults volunteered to watch the boys, so at the last minute, I changed out of my khakis and into a pair of shorts and grabbed a score sheet.
I won't lie: Fight Gone Bad kicked my ass. I went into the workout hoping I could score at least 15 points per station, so my goal was to hit 225 in total. But by the time the third round started, I was running on fumes. Screw 225 -- my goal was just to finish without passing out in front of my kids.

In the end, I was happy to eke out 209 points -- and pleased that I did it without scaling down the difficulty of any of the exercises. (I stuck with the standard RXed weights for men.)

But the next time I do this? 225, baby.

Link Dump

Time to unload another crapload of random links:

• Some folks dismiss what Barefoot Ken Bob and other barefoot running aficionados have to say about going shoeless -- in part because many of them look like slightly-crazed hippies. But now, scientists at Harvard have confirmed that barefoot running is likely to reduce the harsh impacts that often lead to injury. "[P]eople who run barefoot, or in minimal footwear, tend to avoid 'heel-striking,' and instead land on the ball of the foot or the middle of the foot." As a result, "these runners use the architecture of the foot and leg and some clever Newtonian physics to avoid hurtful and potentially damaging impacts, equivalent to two to three times body weight, that shod heel-strikers repeatedly experience."

• According to the New York Times, "a small but growing number of evangelical churches ... have embraced mixed martial arts -- a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles -- to reach and convert young men, whose church attendance has been persistently low." Why are some evangelicals flocking to MMA? Because "Jesus was a fighter."

• Hardcore Burger King "superfans" are abandoning the fast food chain for healthier fare, thereby contributing to BK's two consecutive quarters of declining sales. I wonder if serving booze alongside Whoppers and fries will help lure back the "regulars."

• Speaking of food, is meat-eating incompatible with yoga?

• Take your Vitamin D. Or not.

• Lastly, what's up with the Kinesis Personal Fitness Home Gym? The sleek, austere design is certainly attractive, but if the exertion level displayed by the sweat-free, sweater-clad people in the video below is any indication, this looks like a ridiculous waste of money, time and space.