Storming the Castle

Perforated-burger enthusiast Martin Kessman is suing his local White Castle because the fast food joint has allegedly failed to provide seats large enough to accommodate his girth.

Is it just me, or is he slouching?

“As I looked around the restaurant, I saw that there were no tables and chairs that could accommodate a person that merely wanted to sit down and eat his meal,” Kessman wrote [to White Castle's corporate headquarters]... White Castle replied with three “very condescending letters” -- and an offer that added insult to injury. “In each letter was a coupon for three free hamburgers -- but the cheese was extra!” according to a lawsuit Kessman filed last week in Manhattan federal court.

In the meantime, Kessman refuses to step foot in White Castle, though he still has his wife pick up takeout from the restaurant.

[Source]

Not the Bicycling Type

Paul Mason, formerly the World's! Fattest! Man! at 980 pounds, is suing the British National Health Service. Why? Mason claims that in the mid-1990s, when he was a relatively svelte 895 pounds, he asked the NHS for a referral to an eating disorder specialist, but he was instead referred to a dietitian, who offered useless advice: "Ride your bike more."

On the plus side, those glasses are pretty spiffy.

Granted, I tend to agree with the Taubesian viewpoint that the true underlying cause of Mason's extreme obesity is some kind of metabolic derangement, which in turn led to his overfeeding (rather than the other way around). Thus, a dietition who simply prescribes more exercise is, in my opinion, missing the point entirely.

On the other hand, it wouldn't hurt Mason to take some personal responsibility over his own well-being. After all, it's not like the British government was force-feeding him meals of:

• Four large cod
• Two pies
• Four battered sausages
• Six large portions of chips
• Mushy peas and curry sauce
• All washed down with bottles of Coke

Good thing the British National Health Service didn't also serve him an artichoke.

(Source: Gawker)

Gary Null's Ultimate Power Meal Almost Kills Gary Null

Gary Null is an author, an outspoken promoter of alternative medicine, and a self-styled expert on health and nutrition. He also says he needs only two hours of sleep per night, and is an AIDS denier, claiming that HIV doesn't exist -- and that even if it does, it's harmless.

And that's not all: Null sells a line of supplements called "Gary Null's Ultimate Power Meal," a powder which -- after it's mixed with water -- is supposed to be ingested twice daily.

The problem? According to Null, after downing two "Ultimate Power Meals" a day for a month, it almost killed him. His body became overloaded with Vitamin D, causing kidney damage, extreme fatigue, and intense pain. He's now filed a $10 million suit against Triarco Industries, the company that manufactured the supplement, claiming that Triarco put a thousand times the amount of Vitamin D in each serving of "Ultimate Power Meals" than Null intended.

To treat his Vitamin D overdose, I wonder if Null went to a medical doctor or an alternative/homeopathic therapist.

(Source: The Consumerist)