The Benefits of Massage

I’ve had my share of massages. Not of the John Travolta variety, mind you -- but when I’m feeling particularly wrecked, I’ll drop into my friendly neighborhood sports therapy center and spend an hour getting worked over by Lois, my regular masseuse. Lois is old enough to be my grandmother (and often dispenses grandmotherly advice in the middle of my session, like “remember, don’t text while driving!” and “don’t hunch your shoulders!”), but the woman has hands of steel. She could probably snap my spine in two with her bear-claw-hands.

I don’t go to relax. Despite the soothing spa music that's piped into the rooms, I find it difficult to chill out when Lois is vigorously digging her elbows between my muscle tissues or driving her knuckles into my IT bands. The first time I got a massage from her, I puffed out my chest and told her she should apply as much pressure as possible. She did just that. And now, I feel weird about admitting to her that she's regularly testing the limits of my pain tolerance (which is admittedly pretty low).

Still, while part of me is biting my lip in pain, the other part of me actually enjoys the experience. Plus, I’ve always felt like I recover from my workouts faster after getting a painfully good massage from Lois.

But does massage really bolster recovery? We know that intense exercise causes micro-tears in muscle fibers that trigger an auto-immune reaction (a.k.a. inflammation). Does massage help bring that inflammation down?

Some studies have suggested that there is “little support for the use of massage to aid muscle recovery or performance after intense exercise.” In fact, one study noted that massage actually impairs blood flow and therefore impedes lactic acid removal from muscles after intense exercise -- the opposite of what most assumed to be true. This was measured by examining blood samples taken from athletes who participated in the study.

More recently, however, a group of Canadian researchers took a slightly more in-depth look at what happens to athletes’ muscles when massaged post-exercise.

Their experiment required having people exercise to exhaustion and undergo five incisions in their legs in order to obtain muscle tissue for analysis. Despite the hurdles, the scientists still managed to find 11 brave young male volunteers... 

On a first visit, they biopsied one leg of each subject at rest. At a second session, they had them vigorously exercise on a stationary bicycle for more than an hour until they could go no further. Then they massaged one thigh of each subject for 10 minutes, leaving the other to recover on its own. Immediately after the massage, they biopsied the thigh muscle in each leg again. After allowing another two-and-a-half hours of rest, they did a third biopsy to track the process of muscle injury and repair.

Yeesh. And ouch.

But in comparing the tissue from the massaged and unmassaged legs, the researchers found that massage “reduced the production of compounds called cytokines, which play a critical role in inflammation. Massage also stimulated mitochondria, the tiny powerhouses inside cells that convert glucose into the energy essential for cell function and repair.”

“The bottom line is that there appears to be a suppression of pathways in inflammation and an increase in mitochondrial biogenesis,” helping the muscle adapt to the demands of increased exercise, said the senior author, Dr. Mark A. Tarnopolsky. 

Dr. Tarnopolsky, a professor of pediatrics and medicine at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, said that massage works quite differently from Nsaids and other anti-inflammatory drugs, which reduce inflammation and pain but may actually retard healing. Many people, for instance, pop an aspirin or Aleve at the first sign of muscle soreness. “There’s some theoretical concern that there is a maladaptive response in the long run if you’re constantly suppressing inflammation with drugs,” he said. “With massage, you can have your cake and eat it too—massage can suppress inflammation and actually enhance cell recovery.”

Lesson: When you’ve been beat down by intense exercise, don’t reach for the ibuprofen. Go book a massage instead.

Too expensive? Invest in a foam roller and some lacrosse balls instead. (Another side benefit to doing deep-tissue mobility work in the privacy of your own home rather than getting a professional massage: There’s no need to worry about accidentally releasing an errant fart.)

[Source]

Moderation and Personal Responsibility Have Worked Out Well For Paula Deen

“The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she's proud of the fact that her food is fucking bad for you. I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it is okay to eat food that is killing us. Plus, her food sucks." 

-Anthony Bourdain

Remember when I wrote about the speculation that Paula Deen is secretly diabetic? Speculate no more!

This morning, the 64-year-old Deen announced to Al Roker that she has Type 2 diabetes, and admitted that she’s been hiding this secret for three years “because I had to figure out things in my own head.”

Deen appears to have been waiting for an opportunity to monetize her diagnosis. She’s inked a deal with Novo Nordisk, the pharmaceutical giant that provides her with diabetes medication. Deen announced today that she and her family are going to start appearing in ads for the company.

But aside from pushing drugs, Deen’s not planning to make any dietary changes, other than curbing her sweet tea addiction.

When asked about whether she will make a change in how she cooks on her show, “Paula’s Best Dishes,” Deen didn't give a direct answer, instead encouraging viewers to practice moderation. 

“Here’s the thing, you know, I’ve always encouraged moderation,” she said. “On my show, you know, I share with you all these yummy, fattening recipes, but I tell people 'in moderation... You can have that little piece of pie ...'" 

"I have always eaten in moderation," she said. "You know, people see me on TV two or three times a day and they see me cooking all these wonderfully Southern, fattening dishes. That’s only 30 days out of 365," she said. "And it’s for entertainment. And people have to be responsible. Like I told Oprah a few years ago, honey, I’m your cook, not your doctor. You are going to have to be responsible for yourself."

Oh, yes. Moderation and personal responsibility have worked out REALLY WELL for Deen. After all, thanks to diabetes, she's landed a lucrative deal with Novo Nordisk! She can still eat "that little piece" of Savannah High Apple Pie as long as she gets free insulin and Victoza injections from a pharmaceutical company! And best of all, she can continue to reap the benefits of peddling ridiculously unhealthy food while admonishing her fans to "be responsible for yourself" and gobble down pills! WIN-WIN!

Let’s be real: Type 2 diabetes can be prevented. Regularly chowing on sugar -- whether in the form of Twinkies or Deen’s Deep-Fried Cheesecake, causes insulin resistance and keeps glucose in the bloodstream -- which in turn forces the pancreas to crank out even more insulin to deal with the blood sugar, which in turn causes more insulin resistance, and on and on. The vicious cycle doesn’t end as long as we continue to poison ourselves with sugar. Taking drugs doesn’t fix the underlying problem; it just manages the symptoms.

(Want more information about the sugar-diabetes connection? Read this article over at Mark’s Daily Apple, or check out my Paleo guide.)

I don't think Deen's "the worst, most dangerous person in America," but she can’t simply be dismissed as a kook with a taste for gross food, either. She has a large following, and is prominent enough to influence hordes of television-viewing home cooks -- many of whom are the primary food gatekeepers for their families. By announcing that diabetes can and should be handled with drugs rather than dietary changes, Deen’s made herself the willfully oblivious poster child for America’s diabetes problem.

[Source: MSNBC, Nom Nom Paleo]

Link Dump

I was going to post about my workout today, but that would require that I actually work out.



Instead, I've just been hanging out with the family and eating insane amounts of meat while on vacation here in Cabo (and plugging along on some extracurricular homework for Nom Nom Paleo). I did, however, gather a bunch of interesting reads for you to chew on:

• This op-ed piece in The Atlantic's been making the rounds. Three longtime vegetarians and vegans discuss how they came to understand that eating meat and other animal products is not only healthful, but also ethically and environmentally sound. Read it here.

• According to the New York Times, coffee can boost your athletic performance by "enabl[ing] more forceful muscular contractions and delay[ing] fatigue.” CoffeeWOD, anyone?

• You should already be reading all of the sites featured in Outside Magazine's list of the blogosphere's top ten fitness blogs -- especially MobilityWOD, Conditioning Research, and RunBlogger.

• Is Bob Harper really going to be putting his "Biggest Loser" team on a CrossFit-focused training regimen next season? I might actually have to start watching the show again.

• Serious Eats recently posted Pat LaFrieda's video responses to readers' meat-related questions. Good stuff -- especially if you're interested in butchery.

• I enjoyed the crap out of this post on Lift Big Eat Big: "10 Excuses For Not Exercising & Why They Are Horsesh*t."

• Health Tip of the Day: Do not eat cocaine out of your brother's butt.

Bye for now.

Losing Your Appetite

Remember last month's reports about how the thought of stuffing your face actually helps curbs your appetite? Now comes research that says that "a brisk walk around the block can significantly dampen cravings," too.

But why stop there? Supercharge your weight loss with other appetite suppression strategies, including:

• Drugs!
• Acupuncture!
• Wasabi!
• Dunkin Donuts coffee!
• And watching incredibly gross things on the Internet!

So grab your walking shoes, stick some needles in your skin, throw a hunk of wasabi and a handful of Phendimetrazine tablets in your coffee mug, watch "2 Girls 1 Cup" (again), and imagine sinking your teeth into this. You'll lose that spare tire in no time flat!

Or not.

Caffeine + Alcohol = Satan

Prompted by bug-eyed media reports about Four Loko-related hospitalizations (and deaths!) of college-aged drinkers, the FDA's about to ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks. In response, Four Loko's manufacturer has announced that it's preemptively removing the caffeine from its beverages.

But fear not. If you're the kind of person who can't abide the thought of starting the morning without the equivalent of three beers and three cups of coffee, you have options:

• Have three beers and three cups of coffee.

• If you need a stronger upper/downer combination, I have one word for you: Speedball.

• But cocaine and heroin don't come in exotic fruit flavors! The solution: Make your own homebrewed Four Loko with Crystal Light and grain alcohol! Or better yet, mix up a batch with Jolly Ranchers candies, caffeine tablets, a Monster Energy drink, Sprite, and malt liquor. (Bonus: Sprite kills cancer! Kind of. Okay, not really. At all.)

(Photo: Kyle James)

If You Don't Need to Poo, Your Weight Loss Drug Might Be Fake

Caveat emptor: The Consumerist reports that counterfeit versions of Alli -- an over-the-counter weight loss drug -- are being sold online.

Alli, a reduced-strength version of orlistat, a prescription drug used to treat obesity, works by "decreasing absorption of fat by the intestines, which reduces the number of calories you absorb." Orlistat, however, has a number of serious poo-related side effects, including:

• Urgent need to defecate
• Gas with an oily anal discharge (known colloqually as "sharting")
• Loose stools or diarrhea
• More frequent bowel movements
• Hard-to-control bowel movements

Meanwhile, the fake version of Alli contains another weight loss drug altogether: sibutramine, which helps to boost satiety. In other words, it's supposed to make you feel full. Unfortunately, sibutramine is a controlled substance that's been linked to cardiovascular problems, including high blood pressure. Additionally:

The FDA also warns that "sibutramine is a drug that should not be used in certain patient populations or without physician oversight. Sibutramine can also interact in a harmful way with other medications the consumer may be taking."

Explosive diarrhea is (marginally) more appealing than suffering a heart attack, but not surprisingly, the best choice may be to ditch Alli altogether. According to the Mayo Clinic:

Alli can help you lose weight, but the weight loss likely won't be great — perhaps just a few pounds more than you would lose with diet and exercise alone. Only a small number of studies have evaluated the effectiveness of Alli. And many of the weight-loss estimates are based on studies conducted on its prescription-strength counterpart, Xenical.

The average weight loss for prescription-strength Xenical is modest — about 6 pounds greater than diet and exercise alone after one year. So at half the strength, Alli could conceivably result in an average of 3 pounds lost in a year in addition to the approximately 8 pounds you could expect to lose from diet and exercise alone.

No contest: I'll gladly take three pounds over a full year of uncontrollable shitting.