Link Dump

I've been laying low this week.

It's not by choice. The house is still wrecked, which means we're well into the second month of living in a hotel. Which means the grandparents don't have room to crash overnight when Michelle's working. Which means I have no babysitters at 5 a.m. Which means no gym. Which means I'm cranky and restless.

Maybe it's a good thing that I'm forced into taking a few days off. My right shoulder has been bothering me for over a week now, and I might as well give it some extra time to recover.

Plus, I've been slammed with work, kid stuff, and the Nom Nom Paleo iPad App. (Yes, still. We're feverishly working on a new update to fix the update that was supposed to fix the previous update, but didn't. Got that?) So getting a few extra hours of sleep is a good thing. 

I'm hitting the sack, but if you're looking for something to read, check out these links:

• The New York Times wrote up a nice piece about CrossFit and Memorial Day Murph.

• "The Paleo Diet Moves From The Gym To The Doctor's Office" (NPR)

• Our friend Stacy Toth from Paleo Parents is the "Face of Paleo" in Women's World!

• Holy crap. Tickets for this year's CrossFit Games are sold out. The Home Depot Center is at capacity. I fully expect that it'll be a bazillion times crazier than last year. (And it was already pretty insane last year.) To whet your appetite for the competition, check out the Regional summary videos here.

• The Wirecutter recently researched and wrote a lengthy piece on the best standing desks. Check it out, because your office chair is killing you.

• Last but not least: Glazed-donut-flavored vodka exists. Be afraid.

A Resolution Is Just A Fancy Word for "Goal."

According to USA.gov, the ten most popular New Year's Resolutions are as follows:

• Drink Less Alcohol
• Eat Healthy Food
• Get a Better Education
• Get a Better Job
• Get Fit
• Lose Weight
• Manage Debt
• Manage Stress
• Quit Smoking
• Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle
• Save Money
• Take a Trip
• Volunteer to Help Others

More than half of them are health-related, which tells you that: (1) People know they're in piss-poor shape, and (2) they know something has to be done about it. But the problem, it seems, is that folks aren't sure how to achieve their goals. According to University of Minnesota psychology professor Marti Hope Gonzalez, research indicates that 80 percent of those who make New Year's Resolutions fail to keep them past February -- only to start over again the following January.

Ten years ago, a study published in American Psychologist termed this cycle of futility the "False Hope Syndrome" -- a phenomenon "particularly common among those who resolve to lose weight" due to “unrealistic goals and a misunderstanding of [their] own behavior.”

So what's the answer? How can we set goals and actually achieve them?

My thoughts:

Be reasonable. All goals -- not just resolutions -- should be S.M.A.R.T: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Simply saying that you want to "get healthier" isn't going to give you any metrics by which you can track progress or hold yourself accountable. Instead, set milestones and deadlines to check up on your incremental progress. And don't go crazy with unattainable resolutions -- otherwise, you'll rob yourself of the satisfaction you'll feel when you hit your goals.

Focus on behaviors and actions, not results. A resolution like “I wanna drop 30 pounds” or "I wanna deadlift 3 times my bodyweight" offers you no path to success. Instead, make a checklist of concrete, doable actions that’ll put you in the right direction -- like "I'm cutting sugar from my diet for the next 21 days" or "I'm signing my ass up for a 100-burpee challenge."

Do some research. So what if Gwyneth Paltrow eats nothing but twigs and does hundreds of reps of 3-pound lifts? And who cares if Rich Froning subsists on a diet of chocolate milk, protein shakes, and peanut butter and jelly? Blindly copying others won't transform you into a skinny movie star or the Fittest Man on the Planet. Before you set a goal, consider whether it's something that's actually likely to do you (or others) some good.

Tell people about your goals. It's all too easy to let yourself off the hook. If no one knows about your goals, no one'll get on your butt about sticking to them. But if you're serious about your resolutions, yell it from the mountaintops. (Or, more realistically, Facebook.) You don't have to be annoying about it, but make sure your support system of friends and family are aware that you're marching towards a goal so they can: (1) help you; (2) understand why you're not eating bread all of a sudden; (3) kick your ass if you try to give up. Plus, I've found that one of the greatest motivators is peer pressure (a.k.a. public shaming.)

Make it fun. If it's not enjoyable, it's not sustainable. Want to know why people don't stick to super-restrictive diets? Because they feel deprived. And why don't folks keep going to the globo-gym after January? Because endlessly climbing a StairMaster in slow motion is mind-numbing. So devise ways to keep things fun and interesting -- whether it's by using a kick-ass iPhone app to track your weight loss progress or by joining a running group.

Lastly, don't save your resolutions for January. Who says you can only set personal goals once per annum? Keep setting short- and long-term goals for yourself throughout the year, and work to methodically check 'em off the list.

Go to it, people.

Is Alcohol Paleo?

Ah, summer weekends. The perfect time for getting your drink on, right?

Well, maybe not for us Paleo nerds. After all, our prehistoric ancestors never kicked back with a bottle of Colt 45. Cavemen didn’t frequent bars or brew their own IPA.



But then again...this isn’t about historical reenactment. And didn’t I hear someone say something about the benefits of red wine?

I smell a debate, so let’s dive into some of the pros and cons to boozing it up on a Paleo diet.

PROS:

• The polyphenols in red wine -- and resveratrol in particular -- have been linked to numerous health benefits. (And as Loren Cordain pointed out many moons ago, a couple of glasses of red wine a day won’t make you fat.)

• Stress is pro-inflammatory. In low-to-moderate amounts, alcohol can help reduce stress.

• Some drunks can be incredibly entertaining. Especially the Hoff.

• Plus, beer is awesome for infants (I kid).

CONS:

• Beer equals liquid grain. As you all know, grains are eeevil. So unless you’re drinking the gluten-free stuff, beer is off-limits for those of us on Team Paleo.

• A bunch of spirits also contain some amount of gluten (even those that are distilled): gin, some vodka, whiskey, bourbon. If you’re gonna partake, stick with tequila, white rum, potato vodka. (Not to be confused with Pringles and Smirnoff.)

• Mixed drinks are often loaded with sugar. Sugar bad.

• If you’re male, alcohol may screw up your sex hormones. Studies show that alcohol metabolism can cause “testicular injury and impair[] testosterone synthesis and sperm production.” Oh, and “breast enlargement,” too. 

• Researchers have linked alcohol consumption to cancer (though the studies appear to be epidemiological in nature). 

• Beer goggles.

For me, the decision’s a pretty easy one. See, I’m of Asian descent, and most of us have a genetic mutation that limits our livers’ ability to process alcohol. (If we imbibe too much, we get red and sweaty and vomit. It’s somewhat less fun than it sounds.) I’ve had my share of alcohol-sodden episodes, but Paleo or not, those days are well behind me.

But if I were you (meaning a person who can’t bear the thought of life without regularly tossing one back)? I guess I’d stick with red wine. Of course, there’ll probably be times when you feel it’s totally worth it to indulge. (Think weddings, Irish wakes, getting dumped, etc.). For those occasions, just remember that a NorCal Margarita or a vodka tonic & water are better choices than a hefeweizen. If the elimination of beer from your diet is an absolute non-starter, at least give the gluten-free stuff a shot.

Better yet, just abstain and save the money you would've spent on alcohol. College tuition ain't cheap, yo.

Cupcake-Flavored Vodka

Oh, fer cryin' out loud. Wasn't Pringles 'n Smirnoff bad enough?

There are four available flavors, by the way: "Original," "Chiffon," "Devil's Food" and "Frosting." That's right: FROSTING.

[Source]

Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream

One of my five food rules: Only cheat when it's absolutely worth it.

I rarely deviate from strict Paleo eating. (Example: In the past several months, I've eaten only one sugary dessert. And THAT one was totally worth it.) It hasn't been all that hard for me to pass up grains, legumes and sugar; I've never been a huge fan of any of the above. I don't have a sweet tooth.

BUT: If -- after careful consideration -- I'm absolutely certain that the pleasure of downing a non-Paleo food item is going to totally eclipse any resulting intestinal distress, I'll have zero qualms about eating it. And once the decision's made, I don't go about it half-assed. I go all out.

Case in point: I drove by Humphry Slocombe today (after picking up rabbit from 4505 Meats -- yes, we're cooking and eating Easter bunny flesh this weekend) -- and as luck would have it, there was a parking space right up front. Visions of Chris Cosentino's Boccalone Prosciutto ice cream danced in my head. I parked the car and hustled inside.



Sadly, there was no prosciutto ice cream on the menu today. But my mind was made up: I wanted to taste every flavor on hand. I tried spoonfuls of Salt & Pepper, Jesus Juice, Ancho Chocolate, Salted Licorice, and whatever else looked sufficiently weird and tasty.

After priming my palate with a sufficiently large bolus of sugar, I ordered a scoop of Blue Bottle Vietnamese Coffee ice cream (because I love me some Blue Bottle coffee), with a scoop of Secret Breakfast ice cream on top. Secret Breakfast is, of course, "ice cream with bourbon and toasted cornflakes, including so much Jim Beam that the scoops always run soft."

My very first cup of ice cream in 2011, in all its glory:

Booze. Coffee. Cornflakes. Dairy. Sugar. Total faileo, and my gut is going to hate me for it.

But it was delicious.

Happy Beer Day

If you woke up this morning and your first thought was "I'M GETTIN MY DRINK ON!", then check out Serious Eat's taste-test of various gluten-free beers.

(The verdict, by the way: Go with St. Peter's Sorghum Beer.)

But if you're like me, you're more worried about being assaulted for neglecting to wear green today.

You Say Potato...

...I say vodka and Pringles.

(Source: My Food Looks Funny)

40 Proof Chocolate Milk

Who gives a rat's ass about Four Loko now that you can buy vodka-infused chocolate milk at Costco?

No Shortage of Obese Binge-Drinking Women in the U.S.

According to news reports, American women are in a state of "unsatisfactory" health.

More women are binge drinking, saying they downed five or more drinks at a single occasion in the past month, and fewer are being screened for cervical cancer. Over all, more women are obese, diabetic and hypertensive than just a few years ago, and more are testing positive for chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease linked to infertility.

In other words, women are getting to be just as drunk, fat, and STD-ridden as men.

(Source: New York Times, Gawker)

Caffeine + Alcohol = Satan

Prompted by bug-eyed media reports about Four Loko-related hospitalizations (and deaths!) of college-aged drinkers, the FDA's about to ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks. In response, Four Loko's manufacturer has announced that it's preemptively removing the caffeine from its beverages.

But fear not. If you're the kind of person who can't abide the thought of starting the morning without the equivalent of three beers and three cups of coffee, you have options:

• Have three beers and three cups of coffee.

• If you need a stronger upper/downer combination, I have one word for you: Speedball.

• But cocaine and heroin don't come in exotic fruit flavors! The solution: Make your own homebrewed Four Loko with Crystal Light and grain alcohol! Or better yet, mix up a batch with Jolly Ranchers candies, caffeine tablets, a Monster Energy drink, Sprite, and malt liquor. (Bonus: Sprite kills cancer! Kind of. Okay, not really. At all.)

(Photo: Kyle James)

What Bread Is Good For:

Of course, as Melissa McEwen points out, it's likely that bread was originally borne of booze, which makes this photo doubly awesome.
(Source: Buzzfeed)

Healthiest Beer?

According to The Daily Beast, the "healthiest beer" on the market is something called I.C. Light, with 95 calories and 2.8 grams of carbs per 12 ounce serving. And the most "fattening" beer is Leinenkugel Berry Weiss, at 207 calories and 28 grams of carbs.

I can't figure out how the Beast arrived at these results -- as the Brookston Beer Bulletin pointed out, they appear to be applying "some weird calculation that took into account calories, carbohydrates and alcohol content." Oddly enough, alcohol content seems to be the deciding factor that kept Michelob Ultra from taking the top "healthy" spot. (It has the same number of calories as I.C. Light, and is slightly less carb-y, but I.C. Light has a tiny bit more alcohol.) Does increased alcohol content correlate with better health? Baffling.

Whatever. A bunch of these "healthy" beers look gross, anyway. (The consensus among beer aficionados: I.C. Light is "not worthy.") Drink water instead.