Showing posts with label Four Loko. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Four Loko. Show all posts
Monday, January 3, 2011
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Caffeine + Alcohol = Satan
Prompted by bug-eyed media reports about Four Loko-related hospitalizations (and deaths!) of college-aged drinkers, the FDA's about to ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks. In response, Four Loko's manufacturer has announced that it's preemptively removing the caffeine from its beverages.
But fear not. If you're the kind of person who can't abide the thought of starting the morning without the equivalent of three beers and three cups of coffee, you have options:
But fear not. If you're the kind of person who can't abide the thought of starting the morning without the equivalent of three beers and three cups of coffee, you have options:
- Have three beers and three cups of coffee.
- If you need a stronger upper/downer combination, I have one word for you: Speedball.
- But cocaine and heroin don't come in exotic fruit flavors! The solution: Make your own homebrewed Four Loko with Crystal Light and grain alcohol! Or better yet, mix up a batch with Jolly Ranchers candies, caffeine tablets, a Monster Energy drink, Sprite, and malt liquor. (Bonus: Sprite kills cancer! Kind of. Okay, not really. At all.)
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