Round 3 / Day 100: Elise Gulan's Yoga Fitness Plus

I have no idea who Elise Gulan is, nor do I have any good explanation for why I decided to try one of her yoga workouts from ExerciseTV On Demand (other than the fact that I'm getting a little tired of my workout DVDs). Yoga Fitness Plus started off easy enough, but quickly grew to challenge me more than I wanted for recovery purposes. The Chatarunga-to-Downward Dog-to-Runner's Pose-to-Warrior Two-to-Triangle Pose-to-Warrior Three-to-Half Moon-to-Airplane Pose-to-Twisting Half Moon-to-Standing Splits-to-Glute Raises-to-Warrior Two-to-Runner's Pose-to-Chatarunga sequence pretty much wiped me out. Elise Gulan, on the other hand, stays as perky as ever while nailing all the poses and chirpily coaching throughout.

I'm going to do this workout again (and soon); the next time around, I'll know not to underestimate how difficult a free On Demand yoga session can be.

If you're interested in trying it out, Yoga Fitness Plus is available for free (streaming) online here. I guarantee you'll find it harder than P90X Yoga X.

Round 3 / Day 40: P90X Yoga X

Reminder to self: Trying to hold yoga poses on slippery hotel carpeting is not a good idea.

Other than my 90 minutes of Yoga X this morning, I spent the day on my ass again, planted in conference rooms full of jabbering lawyers. God, it's sick how much we love hearing ourselves talk.

Round 3 / Day 18: P90X Yoga X

Yoga X could definitely use more gigantic Rastafarian roosters, inappropriate hugging and acid-washed skinny jeans:

Round 3 / Day 9: P90X+ Interval Plus

The first few minutes of Interval Plus were deceptively easy. After a five-minute warm-up, Tony announces that we're going to do 15 different exercises -- each for one minute. That doesn't sound so bad, I thought. How's this going to be different from Insanity Pure Cardio?

(What are you looking at, Tony?)

More after the jump.

Round 3 / Day 4: P90X Yoga X

I enjoyed doing yoga this morning, but it took forever (as usual). I could have watched an entire movie in the 92 minutes it took to complete Yoga X, including:

• Before Sunset (2004) – 80 minutes
• The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) – 75 minutes
• Cloverfield (2008) – 85 minutes
• Cube (1997) – 90 minutes
• The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) – 92 minutes
• Duck Soup (1933) – 68 minutes
• Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) – 90 minutes
• High Noon (1952) – 85 minutes
• The Lion King (1994) – 89 minutes
• Monsters, Inc. (2001) – 92 minutes
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) – 91 minutes
• The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) – 76 minutes
• The Night of the Hunter (1955) – 92 minutes
• Rashomon (1950) – 88 minutes
• Revenge of the Nerds (1984) – 90 minutes
• Rope (1948) – 80 minutes
• The Simpsons Movie (2007) – 87 minutes
• Sleeper (1973) – 89 minutes
• South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999) – 81 minutes
• Stand By Me (1986) – 89 minutes
• Toy Story 2 (1992) – 92 minutes
• Videodrome (1983) – 87 minutes

Oh, and one more: Rebecca's Secret, the soft-core porn movie featuring Tony Horton, clocks in at just 81 minutes.

[UPDATE: Sadly, it turns out Tony only has a bit part in the flick, and his single two-minute scene is anything but scandalous.]

Post-Round 2 Recovery Week: One-on-One with Tony Horton - Fountain of Youth + Recovery 4 Results

I broke down and fed the Beachbody machine by purchasing both P90X+ and a bunch of "One-on-One with Tony Horton" DVDs (which I'll just call "1-on-1" going forward for the sake of my tired, tired fingers).

(The packaging, by the way, is mystifying. The four P90X+ DVDs each came separately in cellophane-wrapped, full-sized plastic cases. The pricier 1-on-1 DVDs in the Volume One set, on the other hand, come in a flimsy cardboard-sleeve booklet, just like the original P90X discs. Why the special treatment for the cheaper P90X+ discs? My gut -- and I hope I'm wrong -- is that Beachbody felt the need to gussy up the P90X+ packaging to compensate for the rushed-to-market, low-rent nature of the videos.)

Anyway, I decided to try out the 1-on-1 Fountain of Youth DVD last night. It's like manna from heaven: An abbreviated, greatest-hits version of the Yoga X workout. (Sadly, it doesn't include Crane.) Yoga X is great if you have 90 minutes to slowly work into each of the moves, but Fountain of Youth -- clocking in at just 48 minutes -- is a godsend for those of us with actual lives.



This morning, still feeling sore from swinging a kettlebell, I popped in the 1-on-1 Recovery 4 Results video. This one gets high marks, too. Tony crams in a good amount of stretching, yoga, and even some light cardio and resistance work into this 38-minute session.



I don't know if it's because both of these videos feature relatively mellow workouts, or because I'm starting to appreciate Tony more, but the douche factor is surprisingly low -- especially in light of all the lame jokes and excessive camera-mugging shown in the 1-on-1 commercials.

P90X Yoga X Review

When I started P90X, I was almost contemptuous of the Yoga X DVD. “People do yoga to relax,” I thought to myself. “I don't want to relax. P90X is supposed to be extreme, goddammit.”

Sure, the moves were challenging and I totally sucked at most of them, but I chalked it up to the fact that I've always been sorely lacking in coordination, flexibility and balance. After my first couple of clumsy, pratfall-filled Yoga X sessions, I felt like I was wasting my time.

I was wrong.

My Yoga X review, after the jump.

Post-Round 2 Recovery Week: P90X Yoga X

How can yoga feel so good and so bad at the same time?

My hamstrings are super-tight, and my lower back is achy, so it felt great to stretch out and run through a billion sun salutations. But shortly after starting the 90-minute session, it quickly became obvious that my flexibility and balance aren't what they used to be. I couldn't even hold Tree position without wobbling, which is pretty pathetic. Round 2 was clearly yoga-deficient, and I'm definitely going to have to reincorporate yoga into my routine going forward.

Yoga Pisses Off Convicts

I don't know how I missed this, but a few years ago, a Norwegian prison "suspended yoga classes for prisoners" because it "caused the inmates to become restive and violent."

"The reactions we received from the prisoners who participated in the classes were very varied, ranging from completely positive to completely negative," Mr Hagen reportedly wrote in a letter to the group. On the negative side, the yoga had provoked "strong reactions: agitation, aggression, irritability, trouble sleeping and mental confusion", he said.

Just imagine if they had to do yoga for an hour-and-a-half.

Round 2 / Day 46: P90X Yoga X

It was nice to zone out and turn off my brain for an hour and a half during Yoga X this morning. The downside: I can't remember anything about today's session that's worth posting.

Round 2 / Day 44: P90X Yoga X

One of my favorite things about the Yoga X DVD is that Tony's at his most subdued. Yes, he does a crappy Forrest Gump impression and he totally messes with Audra's ch'i, but for the most part, his comments are limited to offering instructions and helpful tips. His eyes don't bug out of his head. He doesn't make a cross with his forearms and say "X me" or anything similarly stupid. He dials his volume way down. Even when he inexplicably starts yelling during the Yoga Belly 7 sequence, he acknowledges that he's "screaming too much for yoga." This video actually leads me to suspect that Tony Horton might be a normal human being.

On the other hand, if Tony was this mellow on the other P90X DVDs, I'd: (1) be lulled to sleep, and (2) have nothing to write about on this blog. Plus, I think I get more out of my workouts when I'm annoyed and hurling obscenities at the TV.

Star Wars Yoga

Until now, this was my favorite yoga pose:

But my inner nerd (or, perhaps more accurately, inner dork) tells me that this is going to be my new go-to yoga pose:

Source: You Will Not Believe

Round 2 / Day 41: P90X Yoga X

Having not done yoga in almost two months (other than taking a class at Canyon Ranch), I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoy it. The moving asanas gave me a nice burn in my legs and arms, the stretches felt great, and  the balance poses were a welcome challenge. And with the addition of newly-purchased mirrors in our Super-Deluxe Home Fitness Compound (better known as our garage), I was finally able to check out my form and make some much-needed corrections.

BUT: At over an hour-and-a-half, this DVD's still too damn long. I may need to split this routine into two separate workouts: One 50-minute ashtanga yoga session, and one 45-minute session focused on balance poses and stretches. (Alternatively, I could suck it up and buy the Tony Horton One-on-One "Fountain of Youth" DVD, which many P90Xers have used as a shorter substitute for Yoga X.)

Round 2 / Day 40: P90X Core Synergistics

I still love this workout, even though it's gotten progressively easier as my fitness level has improved. (Towel Hoppers used to leave me gasping for air, but after a month or so of working out with Insanity, jumping from side to side for a minute isn't particularly challenging.)

What keeps me coming back to Core Syn is the attention paid to the entire body -- upper, lower, and core -- along with its mix of resistance and cardio exercises. No other P90X workout is quite as well-rounded. If I had to choose just one P90X DVD, this is the one I'd pick to maintain my fitness gains. (Yoga X would be a close second. And while I'd keep doing Ab Ripper X as well, I don't need the DVD -- like most avid P90Xers, I long ago memorized the entire routine.)

Day 90: Yoga X

Not even Twisting Half Moon could stop me -- I'M DONE!!!

P90X Day 85: Yoga X

I love it when Tony saunters up to Audra as she tries to stay balanced on one leg in Royal Dancer Pose. He sticks his hand right in her face and waves it. With a mixture of defiance and defensiveness, Tony then says to the camera, "I didn't mess with her ch'i." 

Whatever you say, Tony.

Day 81: Yoga X

Even with my legs on fire, I maintained good form throughout both Hand-Grab Twisting Right Angle Poses this morning, and I even managed to hold Twisting Half Moon. I stayed perfectly still in Crane for the full minute. And during seated hamstring stretches, I managed to rest my forehead on my knees while keeping my legs straight. After today's 90-minute workout, I felt like one hell of an accomplished yogi.

But then I watched New York Magazine's video about the 7th Annual Asana Yoga Competition, and quickly came to the crushing realization that I have absolutely nothing to crow about. I will never, ever be as grossly flexible as these Gumby-like approximations of actual human beings. (But maybe that's a good thing, because these people look kind of scary.)

P90X Day 74: Yoga X

My mind was on auto-pilot throughout Yoga X this morning, and I honestly can't remember much worth mentioning, other than that I wore my new Vibram FiveFingers shoes during the session. (Read more about them here.)

My transitions from Upward Dog to Downward Dog felt a little clunky because my toes kept getting snagged in the shoes' toe-pockets, but otherwise, they weren't bad. Barefoot is still better, but the rubber soles gripped my mat nicely during the balance poses. I'll give them another shot when I do X Stretch later in the week.

P90X Day 67: Yoga X

With the onset of rainy weather, various insects, arachnids and other unwanted creepy-crawlies have begun amassing in my Deluxe Home Fitness Center (a.k.a. my garage).  Thus, it wasn't much of a surprise when a bunch of ants interrupted my morning Yoga X session.

I didn't notice them during the first half of the workout; I was too busy trying not to collapse while in Warrior 3.  But by the time I plopped down on the floor to stretch my hammies, it was obvious that a good dozen or so ants were scurrying around on the front part of my mat.  Maybe they'd gotten lost on their way to the kitchen, or perhaps they were looking to harvest the salt from one of my many yoga-induced sweat puddles.  Either way, I couldn't continue exercising while an army of ants staged an offensive just inches from me.

In the end, it probably wasn't very yoga-like of me to start flailing around, smashing bugs with my fingers and spraying ant poison all over my mat, but at least it burned some calories.

And despite having to hit the pause button to commit mass murder, Yoga X was a lot of fun.  I'm still rocking Crane, which remains one of my proudest P90X achievements.  My only complaint about Yoga X is its length; to fit in all 90 minutes before the kids get up, I have to pop out of bed no later than 5:15 a.m.  I suppose it's worth it, but I sure could use the extra Zs.

P90X Day 60: Yoga X

I'm a little out of it today.  To complete Yoga X before commuting to work for an early morning meeting, I had to stagger out of bed at 4:30 a.m.   My mind drifted in and out during the workout; at one point, I suddenly realized I was in Frog pose, but couldn't remember getting into the position.  And when I tried to recall the previous couple of poses I'd just completed, I drew a blank.  After finishing the 90-minute session, it was still dark outside, and I desperately wanted to crawl back into bed.  Six hours later, I think I'm still in a daze.

Still, with Day 60 in the books, I'm proud to say that I've made it two-thirds of the way through P90X!  (I'll do my best to post my Day 60 photos sometime before I pass out tonight.)