Round 3 / Day 67: Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown - Level 2 Workout

It's my Recovery Week, and I wanted to do some yoga this morning, but wasn't exactly champing (chomping?) at the bit to do yet another session of Fountain of Youth or Yoga X. M suggested that I try her Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown video, so I gamely popped it into the DVD player and selected the "Level 2" workout, guessing (based on nothing at all) that it was the more advanced of the two 30-minute sessions on the disc.

This workout's perfectly fine -- it features Jillian Michaels (the tougher/meaner of the two "Biggest Loser" trainers) front and center, doing an interesting hybrid of Ashtanga yoga moves (done faster than typical) and mild cardio. Most of the moves involve holding a yoga pose (Chair Lunge with a Twist, for example, or Half Moon) for a moment or two, and then quickly moving in and out of the pose to give your blood a little pump.

Michaels doesn't establish much of a flow between exercises or poses, nor does she bother with setting any sort of serene or zen-like atmosphere. Instead, the focus is clearly on power and movement rather than flexibility and balance (though she does spend some time trying -- and sometimes failing -- to stay balanced on one foot). I, for one, didn't mind it. It's definitely not "yoga" in the traditional sense, and I don't think I "burn[ed] mega calories" as indicated on the cover of the DVD box, but it was a good change of pace. Plus, while the session required more than a modicum of effort, it was low-key enough to qualify as a recovery workout.

One other thing I liked about this workout: We did Crane.

I kind of wish Michaels didn't keep referring to the audience as "girls," though. I already felt girly enough without the reminder that this DVD is targeted at women, thankyouverymuch.

Post-Round 2 Recovery Week: One-on-One with Tony Horton - Fountain of Youth + Recovery 4 Results

I broke down and fed the Beachbody machine by purchasing both P90X+ and a bunch of "One-on-One with Tony Horton" DVDs (which I'll just call "1-on-1" going forward for the sake of my tired, tired fingers).

(The packaging, by the way, is mystifying. The four P90X+ DVDs each came separately in cellophane-wrapped, full-sized plastic cases. The pricier 1-on-1 DVDs in the Volume One set, on the other hand, come in a flimsy cardboard-sleeve booklet, just like the original P90X discs. Why the special treatment for the cheaper P90X+ discs? My gut -- and I hope I'm wrong -- is that Beachbody felt the need to gussy up the P90X+ packaging to compensate for the rushed-to-market, low-rent nature of the videos.)

Anyway, I decided to try out the 1-on-1 Fountain of Youth DVD last night. It's like manna from heaven: An abbreviated, greatest-hits version of the Yoga X workout. (Sadly, it doesn't include Crane.) Yoga X is great if you have 90 minutes to slowly work into each of the moves, but Fountain of Youth -- clocking in at just 48 minutes -- is a godsend for those of us with actual lives.



This morning, still feeling sore from swinging a kettlebell, I popped in the 1-on-1 Recovery 4 Results video. This one gets high marks, too. Tony crams in a good amount of stretching, yoga, and even some light cardio and resistance work into this 38-minute session.



I don't know if it's because both of these videos feature relatively mellow workouts, or because I'm starting to appreciate Tony more, but the douche factor is surprisingly low -- especially in light of all the lame jokes and excessive camera-mugging shown in the 1-on-1 commercials.

P90X Yoga X Review

When I started P90X, I was almost contemptuous of the Yoga X DVD. “People do yoga to relax,” I thought to myself. “I don't want to relax. P90X is supposed to be extreme, goddammit.”

Sure, the moves were challenging and I totally sucked at most of them, but I chalked it up to the fact that I've always been sorely lacking in coordination, flexibility and balance. After my first couple of clumsy, pratfall-filled Yoga X sessions, I felt like I was wasting my time.

I was wrong.

My Yoga X review, after the jump.

Day 81: Yoga X

Even with my legs on fire, I maintained good form throughout both Hand-Grab Twisting Right Angle Poses this morning, and I even managed to hold Twisting Half Moon. I stayed perfectly still in Crane for the full minute. And during seated hamstring stretches, I managed to rest my forehead on my knees while keeping my legs straight. After today's 90-minute workout, I felt like one hell of an accomplished yogi.

But then I watched New York Magazine's video about the 7th Annual Asana Yoga Competition, and quickly came to the crushing realization that I have absolutely nothing to crow about. I will never, ever be as grossly flexible as these Gumby-like approximations of actual human beings. (But maybe that's a good thing, because these people look kind of scary.)

P90X Day 67: Yoga X

With the onset of rainy weather, various insects, arachnids and other unwanted creepy-crawlies have begun amassing in my Deluxe Home Fitness Center (a.k.a. my garage).  Thus, it wasn't much of a surprise when a bunch of ants interrupted my morning Yoga X session.

I didn't notice them during the first half of the workout; I was too busy trying not to collapse while in Warrior 3.  But by the time I plopped down on the floor to stretch my hammies, it was obvious that a good dozen or so ants were scurrying around on the front part of my mat.  Maybe they'd gotten lost on their way to the kitchen, or perhaps they were looking to harvest the salt from one of my many yoga-induced sweat puddles.  Either way, I couldn't continue exercising while an army of ants staged an offensive just inches from me.

In the end, it probably wasn't very yoga-like of me to start flailing around, smashing bugs with my fingers and spraying ant poison all over my mat, but at least it burned some calories.

And despite having to hit the pause button to commit mass murder, Yoga X was a lot of fun.  I'm still rocking Crane, which remains one of my proudest P90X achievements.  My only complaint about Yoga X is its length; to fit in all 90 minutes before the kids get up, I have to pop out of bed no later than 5:15 a.m.  I suppose it's worth it, but I sure could use the extra Zs.

Boomin' Granny

For the past few weeks, I've been going around thinking I'm hot shit for being able to stay in Crane position for over a minute.  So finding out that there are octogenarians who can do the exact same thing kind of pisses me off.

P90X Day 39: Yoga X

I'm experiencing a deficit of balance this morning. I felt strong and (reasonably) flexible, but couldn't match my results from last week's Yoga X session because I kept tipping over while trying to maintain certain balance poses (e.g., Twisting Half Moon, Crane, Standing Leg Extension, etc.). Unlike Weebles, when I wobble, I usually fall down -- especially if I'm trying to balance on my weaker (left) leg. I'm going to chalk it up to an off day, and hope for a better sense of equilibrium next week.

By the way, Yoga X features one of my all-time favorite P90X moments: Tony yells out "This isn't a competition -- we're just doing our best and WHAT, you guys?" and everyone ignores him.

P90X Day 32: Yoga X

I just completed Yoga X without assistance from a yoga block for the first time! And I held Crane for 67 seconds! I deserve a pizza!

Oh, wait -- I had that for dinner last night.

Damn.

P90X Day 27: Yoga X

This morning, during Yoga X, I stayed in Crane for 50 seconds (with no toe touches!).

My sense of accomplishment, though, was short-lived. I was in the Savasana Corpse Pose at the end of the session when my pajama-clad, bedheaded four-year-old poked his head into the garage (or, as I like to call it, my Deluxe Home Fitness Center). He rubbed his eyes, peered sleepily at all the silent, prostrate bodies on the TV screen, and declared: "P90X is WAAAAY too easy, dad."

P90X Day 22: Yoga X

Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed Yoga X this morning -- my poses are much improved, and I'm now able to hold Twisting Half-Moon (albeit with the help of a yoga block) without crashing to the ground.



My short-term Yoga X goal: Stay in Crane for 60 seconds with no toe-touches by Day 45. (During today's Crane attempt, my right toe touched down four times, but only for a second each time, which got me more excited about Yoga X than Tony's screaming ever will.)

[UPDATE: Goal achieved!]