Showing posts with label John Durant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Durant. Show all posts

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Knocking Down Straw Men

I'm about to unleash a Paleo rant, so if you hate this stuff, move along. These aren't the droids you're looking for.


A very good friend of mine sent me a link this morning to a piece on NPR.com by anthropologist Barbara J. King entitled "The Paleo-Diet: Not the Way To a Healthy Future." In it, she argues that ancestral eating approaches are nothing more than a "paleo-fantasy" with no scientific roots in paleo-anthropology.

I'm a budding Paleo nerd, so the headline got me excited. I eagerly scanned the article, hoping to learn more about King's position. I love a good argument.

But sadly, there are no good arguments in King's piece. In fact, there's barely any comprehensible argument at all. Even worse, King's article never lives up to its title; there is no discussion of why the Paleo diet is "not the way to a healthy future." Instead, King simply sets up a straw man to knock down, painting a picture of Paleo as a dogmatic, homogenous effort to reenact caveman life (which it isn't), and then dismissing the benefits of ancestral eating because: (1) it doesn't accurately reflect prehistoric diets, (2) humans can survive eating lots of different things, and (3) it's not environmentally friendly. Along the way, she claims that "science" trumps the evidence bolstering Paleo nutrition, but then fails to cite to any actual science at all. Just in time for Halloween, this is an opinion piece masquerading as science journalism.


Here are King's specific claims, and my responses to each of them:

Argument 1: "Our ancestors began to eat meat in large quantities around 2 million years ago, when the first Homo forms began regular use of stone tool technology. Before that, the diet of australopithecines and their relatives was overwhelmingly plant-based, judging from clues in teeth and bones. I could argue that the more genuine 'paleo' diet was vegetarian."

Me: Sure, based on the fossil record, early hominids may have been primarily plant-eaters. But later hominids like Australopithicus afarensis (who lived from 3 to 4 million years ago) and Homo erectus (1.3 to 1.8 million years ago) developed jaw structures and teeth to eat meat. In other words, our distant ancestors may have been vegetarians by necessity -- but as soon as they could get their hairy paws on animals, they ate 'em up. And so we've been eating meat for millions of years.


Oh, and by the way, it's disturbing that King -- a biological anthropologist who throws around her "scientific" knowledge on this topic -- doesn't seem to know when the Paleolithic era took place. The Paleolithic is defined as "the prehistoric era distinguished by the development of the most primitive stone tools discovered." That's why it's also known as the Stone Age. King herself points out that our ancestors started eating meat when we started using stone tools roughly 2 million years ago. So if the Paleolithic era began 2 million years ago, and that's when we started "eat[ing] meat in large quantities," how can she argue that "the more genuine 'paleo' diet was vegetarian"?

My head hurts.

(And not to get all technical and stuff, but there's evidence that stone tools were being used up to 3.4 million years ago -- so the Stone Age stretches back farther than many had thought.)

Argument 2: "More worrisome are persistent attempts to match a modern diet to an 'average' Paleolithic one, or Loren Cordain's insistence that 'we were genetically designed to eat lean meat and fish and other foods that made up the diet of our Paleolithic ancestors.' Here's where science most forcefully speaks back. First, ancient hunter-gatherer groups adapted to local environments that were regionally and seasonally variable -- for instance, coastal or inland, game-saturated or grain-abundant (eating grains was not necessarily incompatible with hunter-gatherer living)."


Me: King sets up the straw man argument that we're trying to "match a modern diet to an 'average' Paleolithic one," but she conveniently ignores that we're actually not trying to "match" anything at all, let alone a single, inflexible menu.

King doesn't seem to understand that Paleo -- at least the way most of us approach it -- is not about strict historical re-enactment. Rather, "Paleo" is just a convenient label -- a shorthand. Perhaps a better way to put it is that we're trying to eat foods that are whole and unprocessed, and avoid those that are inflammatory or metabolically damaging. (Read Chris Kresser's take on the Paleo template. He articulates this point much better than I ever could.) It so happens that hunter-gatherers -- regardless of their foraging strategy or local environments -- ate this way, and didn't eat cupcakes and guzzle soy milk. But it doesn't mean we're trying to precisely replicate the eating patterns of actual cavemen. Cavemen diets give us a starting point -- a hypothesis. They're not the end-all, be-all.

And although King pays lip service to the notion that "leaders of the paleo-diet movement don't think monolithically," she then immediately makes the assumption that Loren Cordain's "The Paleo Diet" is the ancestral eater's Ten Commandments. Her statement that "lean meat...takes center stage" and that Paleo eating is "homogenous" is wrong and outdated; many -- if not most -- Paleo eaters these days recognize the value of good dietary fats. Even Cordain has acknowledged that his "lean meat" recommendation needs revision.


Further, it's bizarre that King is trying to make the point that Paleo eaters don't eat seasonally like our ancestors did. After all, seasonal foods are emphasized in most Paleo approaches.

Finally, although King argues that "eating grains was not necessarily incompatible with hunter-gatherer living," there's no evidence of any hunter-gatherer society that relied on grains as a staple of their diet. By definition, hunter-gatherers are not farmers, and wild grains -- even if abundantly available -- are not edible absent harvesting and processing. The vast majority of hunter-gatherer societies didn't eat grains, and those that did didn't lean heavily on 'em -- until they became agrarian societies. After all, a hunter-gatherer society that begins farming the land isn't a hunter-gatherer society any longer.

[UPDATED: In the comments below, Lizzy points out that there's evidence of Paleolithic grain-eaters. Some hunter-gatherer societies began transitioning to herder-farmer patterns during the Upper Paleolithic. It's fascinating stuff, but in the end, I'm not sure it matters. Again, the intent of most modern Paleo eaters isn't to replicate actual cavemen diets -- it's to eat in a way that promotes optimal health. To the extent we're trying to eat like cavemen, then, we're trying to eat like the ones that didn't eat craploads of pro-inflammatory stuff.]

So just how is "science...forcefully speak[ing] back"? King never explains.

Argument 3: "[G]enes were not in control. People learned what worked in local context for survival and reproduction, and surely, just as in other primates, cultural traditions began to play a role in who ate what... Genes no more 'designed' our eating behavior than they designed our language or our ways of relating between the genders."

Me: In blanket fashion, King asserts that "genes were not in control" -- that human biology does not play a role in our bodies' reactions to food. If she's going to make the argument that human genetics plays no role in human metabolism or immune reactions to different foods, she'd better be able to back it up. After all, there are scores of studies -- cited by Cordain, Robb Wolf, Mat Lalonde, etc. -- that say the exact opposite. (Did King look at any of the research?) Let's face it: We aren't meant to eat certain things. Just because something is edible doesn't mean we can thrive on it. Does King really believe that our bodies can optimally process anything and everything we eat regardless of our biology?


(In case you're wondering, the monstrosity pictured above is Paula Deen's Savannah High Apple Pie. I wouldn't recommend incorporating it into your diet -- even if it's readily available or culturally appropriate.)

Again, King doesn't explain. Rather, she just says that "people learned what worked in local context for survival and reproduction." Duh. People made do with what was around. And even today, an enormous swath of the population on this planet subsists on gluten-packed foods that wreak havoc on their immune systems because wheat is cheap and available. But "surviving" and "thriving" aren't the same thing. Just because a person can live long enough to have sex and pump out a kid doesn't mean he or she enjoys optimal health.


Case in point: The photo above is of Donna Simpson, the New Jersey mom who's trying to become the fattest woman in the world.

Argument 4: "It's not paleo-fantasy that's going to help us negotiate a healthy future, the 7 billion of us together, on this environmentally-endangered planet."

Me: King's a vegetarian. [UPDATED: I take it back: King says she hasn't made "a complete commitment to vegetarianism because of some medical dietary issues." She admits to eating some chicken, but feels "increasingly bad about it" and is "working on cutting back."] And like many (but by no means all) vegetarians, she associates meat-eating with environmental destruction.

Look -- I agree wholeheartedly that factory farming practices are wasteful and environmentally unsustainable. The horrific conditions in factory farms has produced terrible health consequences, including antibiotic-resistant super-bugs and e. coli outbreaks. Unsustainable fishing practices are equally destructive, wiping out entire ecosystems. But is the solution to simply stop eating animals? Is vegetarianism the one true path to sustainable eating?


I don't think so. As John Durant points out, there are implications of a modern vegetarian food system that are just as terrible for the environment.
Wheat, soy beans, and corn (all vegetarian staples) are being grown in vast industrial monocultures using fossil fuel fertilizers. These methods still have an enormous cost in animal life from giant threshers, pesticides, fertilizers, and destruction of habitat. A vegetarian world is no ethical or environmental paradise. Even if people stopped eating animals (though the global trend is to eat more animals, not fewer), you’d have a one-time reduction in the size of these monocultures. But you’re still left with industrial farming. Books like Meat: A Benign Extravagance by Simon Fairlie and The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Kieth cast doubt on the pessimistic statistics that eco-vegans have been throwing around, nay-saying sustainable alternatives. So how do you actually create a more sustainable alternative?  
King doesn't even pretend to answer this question. She engages in name-calling instead, labeling Paleo as a "fantasy" because humans don't need to eat like cavemen to survive. But King never bothers to explain why she thinks eating whole, unprocessed food is unhealthy. Nor does she offer any reasons why she thinks the Paleo diet is any less sustainable than any other contemporary diet.

I would argue that our family's diet of meat and vegetables -- primarily from local farms and CSAs -- is more healthy and ecologically sound than that of a vegetarian family that shops for Tofurky, Wheat Thins and Bagel Bites. Is it more expensive to buy grass-fed meats and pastured eggs? Yes. But consider why wheat, soy, and corn-containing processed food products -- including vegan and vegetarian-friendly options -- are so inexpensive. It's not because they're cheap to develop, produce, market and transport; it's because government subsidies are propping up these environmentally devastating crops. If you're a rational environmentalist, you can't praise small farms that raise vegetables for food on the one hand and condemn small farms that raise animals for food on the other. Likewise, you can't just rail against factory farming without also ripping into the industrial food complex that pushes corn, soy, and wheat to the detriment of our health and environment.

But instead of railing against subsidies to industrial agribusiness, King chose to lob a grenade at Paleo -- something she clearly hasn't bothered to thoroughly research. Why didn't King pen a screed against industrial food production and in favor of eating whole, unprocessed foods instead? Could it be that she has a bone to pick with an increasingly popular nutrition approach that advocates eating (gasp!) meat?


Hey, NPR: I hope you know that this is making me less likely to participate in your local station's pledge drive. (But I still love you, Terry Gross and Ira Glass.)

Okay, rant over. Time to get back to farting yoga videos.

[Previously: I See Dumb People]

Monday, April 25, 2011

Racing Animals

Remember the whole Art De Vany / Dan Lieberman dustup over whether humans are -- from the standpoint of evolutionary biology -- "born to run"?


The (frankly crappy) Time Magazine article about Paleo stirred up the pot by pointing out that De Vany (like many other Paleo luminaries) believes that "no caveman ever jogged for miles while pursuing dinner or being chased by a predator." Rather, humans are best suited for "short bursts of cardiovascular exertion that may also include hauling a heavy weight, as you might after a successful hunt."

But Lieberman and his fellow barefoot running advocates (Christopher McDougall included) take the opposite view: Humans, they say, have a unique knack for endurance running because our genetic ancestors engaged in long-range persistence hunting.
We can run all day, the theory goes, because there was once a caloric advantage to it. Our two human legs, packed as they are with long slow-twitch muscle fibers, make us better runners over long distances than most quadrupeds. And our three million sweat glands give us the ability to cool our bodies with perspiration. An antelope, by contrast, sprints -- for up to 15 minutes -- while wearing a fur coat and relies on respiration (panting) to release the heat that builds up with exertion. Add to the mix our ability to organize and strategize and, well, you can see how persistence hunting might actually work.
So who's right?


Outside Magazine just published an article featuring nine elite marathoners who put the persistence hunting theory to the test. Powered by their own feet, they chased a pronghorn antelope -- the world's second-fastest land animal -- to see if they could wear it down and kill it.

By the end of their attempt at persistence hunting, the marathoners had each covered 20 miles -- not quite a marathon, but close. Did they succeed in bagging the antelope? Read the article and see for yourself.

Regardless of the results of this test, my take is that John Durant is right: To a certain extent, both camps are right. Yes, humans evolved to be capable of covering long distances -- but the optimal way to improve your overall fitness is through intermittent sprinting and lifting heavy stuff. After all, "high-intensity training and strength training can improve performance in endurance activities, but the reverse doesn't hold.  You can get better at marathons by doing CrossFit, but you can't get better at CrossFit by running marathons."

[Image]

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"The Caveman Diet" on ABC's Nightline

Last night, ABC aired its long-postponed Nightline segment about "The Caveman Diet" -- and unlike some media outlets -- didn't make Paleo adherents look like the lunatic fringe. Watch it here:



My favorite part was watching Robb Wolf, Art Devany, John Durant, Melissa McEwen -- the Justice League of Paleo! -- all eating rodizio at Churrascaria Plataforma. Bonus: CrossFit South Brooklyn struts its stuff! w00t!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Greatest Hits

To kick off the weekend, check out this little video. It features a bunch of stuff we know and love: Paleo eating, Vibram FiveFingers, John Durant, MovNat, and Tough Mudder.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I Like to Read Stuff



There are a few newly-added sites on my blogroll, and if you haven’t yet checked ‘em out, you really should. Here’s why:

Free the Animal
Fathead
  • Tom Naughton is a comedian-slash-documentary filmmaker who released a movie called “Fathead” last year. The film is a parody/response to Super Size Me, pulling back the curtains on Morgan Spurlock’s slippery claims and debunking what common wisdom has pounded into our heads about good nutrition, dietary fat, and the causes of obesity. Naughton’s mission to debunk bad food science didn’t end with his documentary; on his blog, he continues to level a critical eye on all sorts of nutrition and food-related subjects. It’s a fun read.


Cholesterol and Health
  • When M got her labs back last month, she discovered that her HDL – “good cholesterol” – was way up, but so was her LDL. Was this a problem? Nope. Nutrition PhD candidate Chris Masterjohn lays it all out on his website – an easy-to-read clearinghouse of information about the true nature of cholesterol. Masterjohn is another big name on in Paleo circles, and it’s easy to understand why. (Also check out Jimmy Moore's podcast interview with Masterjohn here.)
Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
This Week in Paleo
  • I’ve found Angelo Coppola’s podcasts to be a great way to quickly expand my knowledge about all things Paleo. He does a thorough job of mining the blogosphere for information about ancestral eating, and frankly, it’s nice to be able to tear myself away from the computer screen and just download Angelo's podcast and listen to him chat about his week’s Paleo-related discoveries. And I’m not just saying this because my site has been featured as a "Blog of the Week" on TWIP, either. Honest.
Nom Nom Paleo
  • Nepotism be damned. Nom Nom Paleo is my better half's food blog, and she regularly posts all sorts of good, meaty stuff -- from full-blown (but simple) recipes to tips on staying Paleo when dining out. Plus, she cusses like a sailor. What's not to like?
Going forward, I’ll try to continue highlighting new sites that catch my eye – and please let me know if there are others I should check out. Happy Friday, folks.

(Image: inju)

Friday, August 27, 2010

This Too Shall (Hopefully) Pass

In case you haven’t been keeping track, it’s now been over ten years since the airing of the “Sex & the City” episode that kicked off the gourmet cupcake craze. And in that time, gussied-up cupcakes have sprung up everywhere across this country like bedbugs and mold. Throw a rock in any direction and it’s likely to hit a cupcake cookbook, blog, television show, costume or toy. Or, with any luck, one of these rolling, limbless cupcake people:


Don't get me wrong: I'm not immune to the saccharine charms of a good cupake. I’ll confess to having visited cupcakeries from coast to coast, from Magnolia Bakery in New York and Sugar Mama's in Alaska to Sprinkles and Kara’s in California. We occasionally pick up a box or three of cupcakes for parties, and we’ve been known to custom-order vast quantities of Star Wars-themed cupcakes for our kids' birthdays.


But come on, people: It’s 2010. Cupcake fetishism is so, so tired. Can we please move along to the next food-related fad? Something a little less crappy for you?

Case in point: Here’s the nutritional breakdown of just one red velvet cupcake from Sprinkles (which is fairly representative of most gourmet cupcakes):
  • Calories: 497
  • Calories from Fat: 241
  • Total Fat: 26.8g
  • Saturated Fat: 16g
  • Cholesterol: 104mg
  • Sodium: 412mg
  • Total Carbohydrate: 61.5g
  • Dietary Fiber: 1g
  • Sugars: 45g
  • Protein: 6g 
Exercise can't compensate for a bad diet, but even if it could, you’d have to run a 10K to burn off just this one cupcake. And you’d still have to contend with the tidal wave of insulin released in response to the massive sugar intake, which is going to nicely plump up the adipose fat cells in your hips, arms, ass and jellyroll with triglycerides. Plus, all that running’s made you even hungrier, so you’re unlikely to stop at just one cupcake.

But hey: At least you’re only sucking down cupcakes on rare, super-special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries, right?

Wrong.

Paleo poster child John Durant recently penned a post entitled “Why Gourmet Cupcakes are Evil,” which made the point that up-market cupcakes are insidious because they give sugar addicts an excuse to indulge on a regular basis. While “[n]ice cakes are too big, too expensive, too luxurious” for everyday snacking, those cute, innocent-looking little cupcakes aren’t. And yet they’re sufficiently fancy, nostalgia-inducing and affordable to make cupcake enthusiasts feel like they’re getting a special treat -- even if they’re helping themselves to another frosting-slathered gut bomb every other day.


Unless you're hoping for pre-diabetes, cupcakes shouldn't be a staple of your diet. Strip away the sprinkles, paper liner and cutesy hype, and all you're left with is plain, old, not-very-special cake. Besides, much like heroin, cupcakes are so passé. Even the tacky Sex & the City tour bus has dropped Magnolia from its route. So put down that box of cupcakes, and back away slowly.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Paleo Man vs. Vegan

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Exclusive - Backstage With John Durant
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorFox News


That settles it. If a paleo diet can help me become a better all-around Jenga player, I'm in.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Yabba Dabba Doo Time

In the Comments section, Ben pointed me to this video of John Durant's appearance on “The Colbert Report”:

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorHealth Care reform

Durant, as you might recall from this post, was featured in a recent New York Times piece about modern cavemen -- strict adherents to the Paleo Diet whose exercise routines emphasize natural movement.

(I especially enjoyed Durant’s jokey description of the perfect girl to share his cave: A meat-eating, lactose intolerant girl with celiac disease. And by the way, did you notice that Durant is wearing Vibram FiveFingers?)

It’s easy to dismiss Durant as just another attention-craving New York hipster glomming onto an obscure fad for the sake of getting noticed. But if you can get past all that, there’s some really interesting stuff beneath the surface. Even if you’re never going to give up eating grilled cheese sandwiches and don’t plan on running through a jungle and pole-vaulting onto a bunch of boulders, we can all learn a little something from the caveman lifestyle.

First, let's start with the article that generated the current mainstream interest in Durant and his fellow modern cavemen: "The New Age Cavemen and the City."

The article quotes Loren Cordain, a professor at Colorado State University and the author of “The Paleo Diet,” who discusses the source of the caveman movement to a 25-year-old New England Journal of Medicine article, which stated that the "diet of our remote ancestors may be a reference standard for modern human nutrition." Cordain offers quite a bit of information on this approach to nutrition on his website, and he's also written a number of books on this subject, including "The Paleo Diet for Athletes," which may be of particular interest to you hardcore P90Xers. In it, he describes "the essential dietary principles for the Paleo Diet for Athletes":
You can eat as much lean meat, poultry, seafood, fresh fruit, and veggies as you like. Foods that are not part of the modern-day Paleolithic fare include cereal grains, dairy products, high-glycemic fruits and vegetables, legumes, alcohol, salty foods, fatty meats, refined sugars, and nearly all processed foods.

There are a number of crucial exceptions to these fundamental rules ... Case in point: Immediately before, during, and after a workout or competition, certain non-Paleo foods should be eaten to promote a quick recovery. During all other times, meals that closely follow the 21st-century Paleolithic diet ... will encourage comprehensive long-term recovery and allow you to attain your maximal performance potential.
Wikipedia features a lengthy article about the paleolithic diet, too.

The New York Times article also mentions Erwan Le Corre, one of the "patriarchs of the paleo movement," who has been called "one of the most all-around physically fit men on the planet." Le Corre is the founder of a survival-based physical discipline called MovNat. Here's a video of Le Corre doing his thing:



Last year, Le Corre was profiled in Men's Health magazine by Christopher McDougall. The article, entitled "A Wild Workout for the Real World," is an engrossing read. McDougall, who's best known for writing the bestselling "Born to Run" (the book that first got me and just about everyone else hooked on barefoot running), visited Le Corre's training base in the Brazilian rainforest, and after three days, ran a 12-station obstacle course in the jungle, "springing up into trees, contorting through the branches, and shinnying down 15-foot poles."
[Le Corre] has us hoisting heavy logs on end and flipping them, top over bottom, up a hill. He has us crawling around stakes in the ground and snaking on our bellies beneath an overturned dugout canoe mounted a few inches off the ground. Even a small cabin comes into play: He has us vaulting through one window and out the other.
As I approach the end of my second lap, I have only two obstacles left -- a leap from the porch and then a quick climb up a 20-foot pole braced between the ground and a branch high in a tree. I'm trying not to show it, but I'm on the verge of grinning with pride. Two days ago, my heart was in my throat before every jump. Now, after just 72 hours, I feel unstoppable.
As McDougall's article points out, Le Corre's MovNat is based on Méthode Naturelle, an approach to survival fitness pioneered by Georges Hébert at the turn of the last century. Hébert's teachings greatly influenced the development of parkour and freerunning.

And to tie all of this back to P90X, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Mark Sisson -- the P90X supplement creator who pops up in those post-workout commercials for overpriced Beachbody supplements -- is the author of "The Primal Blueprint," a diet book rooted in paleo concepts. You can read more about it on Sisson's blog.

Some think that eating and running like our prehistoric ancestors is stupid and weird. To them, it's just a fad -- a momentary, knee-jerk throwback that ignores all the progress we've made as a species. But clearly, there are those who believe that technology -- including processed foods (even grains) and highly-engineered footwear -- are getting in the way of true human potential.

I, for one, am not about to ditch grains and dairy altogether (although I'm largely abstemious of both already). Plus, I'm naturally risk-averse, and you won't find me heaving large rocks while balancing on a tree branch. But I am considering whether to reasonably fit some paleo concepts (e.g., limiting intake of grains and dairy, focusing on functional exercise, etc.) into my diet and fitness routine.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Link Dump



There's a bunch of stuff on the web that I've been meaning to share, but I've been too lazy busy to do it. I doubt I'll get around to devoting a full post to each of the following links, so I might as well dump 'em here your reading/procrastinating pleasure:

1. 50 Ways to Cut 500 Calories a Day

My favorite is Number 34, mostly because I already do this (but also because my father-in-law once told my wife to tell me to cut it out):
Tap your foot. Your skinnier friends are probably fidgeters, who burn up to 350 calories a day just by tapping their feet or being restless. Try it for a few days. Walk around while you’re on the phone, or tap out a tune with your hands or feet (in the privacy of your own office, of course).
2. Watch "Supersize Me" For Free

FreeDocumentaries.org has a growing list of full-length documentaries for your viewing pleasure -- but nothing beats watching Morgan Spurlock gain 25 pounds and suffer liver damage after a month of ingesting McDonald's "food" exclusively.

3. Taco Bell's Drive-Thru Diet

Speaking of fast food, Taco Hell's marketing its "Fresco" menu to dieters who are determined to lose weight as long as they can still keep their daily appointment with a Burrito Supreme and a fistful of hot sauce packets. I love that Taco Bell's legal department forced them to put disclaimers on everything, pointing out that the "Drive-Thru Diet" isn't actually a diet. It's "not a weight loss program," Taco Bell confesses. Fresco products "are not a low calorie food," and the results achieved by its spokesmodel Christine "aren't typical." But it's catchy, and it worked for Subway! (Until Jared got fat again.)

4. Ad Age: What The Weight-Loss Biz Has In Store For 2010

I love the fact that Ad Age includes not just Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers in its round-up of "some of the bigger players" in the weight loss industry, but also Planters, Jell-O and Dunkin' Donuts. Why Dunkin' Donuts? Because it's going to make egg whites available in its breakfast sammitches (which, of course, you can wash down with a 630-calorie Chocolate Chip Muffin). And why Planters? Because like Jon Gosselin, Mr. Peanut's taking up yoga.

5. The New Age Cavemen and the City

Thanks to Boingboing and Yacine for pointing me in the direction of this article, which describes hipster paleo enthusiasts in New York City who eat "large quantities of meat and then fast[ ] between meals to approximate the lean times that his distant ancestors faced between hunts," and exercise by "scooting around the underbrush on all fours, leaping between boulders, [and] playing catch with stones." Why? "[T]o replicate how a prehistoric person might have fled from a mastodon," of course.

We went to a dinner party last night where we ate tons of meat from a variety of different animals -- all cooked over open flames in an outdoor wood-burning fireplace. Does that count?