P90X Day 83: Kenpo X

M peered over at the TV screen as I dutifully plowed through the Kenpo X block sequence this morning. "Wesley Idol's jiggly," she observed.

"I know," I grunted.

"He's not down in horse stance," M continued, comparing Idol to Ex-Marine Tony. She thought about this for a moment, and offered, "Maybe he has bad knees."

I shook my head.

"Or maybe," she said, "he has two prosthetic legs."

P90X Day 42: X Stretch

Although X Stretch is the easiest of the P90X routines (it's just stretching, after all), I'm happy that it features three of my favorite Tony Horton Henchpeople: Pam The Blam, Muscular Attorney Phil and Freakishly Flexible Shawna. I enjoy working out "with" them (and also Zero-Percent-Body-Fat Adam and Ex-Marine Tony) because they're hardcore and not annoying like some of Tony's other workout pals. (Yes, I'm talking about you, Katie-Who-Won't-Shut-Up from Back & Biceps.) I especially get a kick out of Phil because he occasionally looks like he wants to punch Tony in the face.

After completing X Stretch today, I tried using my new foam roller to mobilize my IT band, hamstrings and lower back -- it's amazing how much tension I can isolate with the roller. I'm hesitant to add even more time to my morning workouts, but it's probably a good idea to incorporate a roller routine into my daily cool-downs.

P90X Day 34: Kenpo X

Why won't Wesley Idol get down in a real horse stance during Kenpo X? He just stands there with his legs bent ever-so-slightly, totally phoning it in. Both Tonys (Ex-Adult-Entertainer Tony and Ex-Marine Tony) squat waaaaay down when they're in horse stance, working their glutes, hamstrings and quads, while Mr. Idol looks like he's just casually bending over to squeeze out a nonchalant fart. My legs and butt were completely sore from yesterday's Legs & Back routine, and even I managed to get down into horse stance a lot lower than Wesley Idol. And don't tell me he's supposed to be modeling the "easy" version of the exercises -- that's sweaty Vanessa's job. Plus, Wesley Idol's credited with being the kenpo master who introduced Tony Horton to this workout in the first place, so he should be one who shows off the super-intense moves.

But he doesn't.

How can anyone expect to get an intense workout from Kenpo X when its creator looks like he's just sleepwalking through the moves? Clutching light (3 pound) dumbbells throughout the session, I actually got a decent workout this morning -- but only because I followed along with Ex-Marine Tony and did my best to ignore Wesley Idol.