Irony is Best Served in a Half-Gallon Jug

Isn't it awesome that KFC is supporting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation by donating proceeds from its HALF-GALLON "Mega Jugs" of sugar HFCS water?

I knew it all along: SODA PREVENTS DIABEETUS!

[Source]

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For those of you who think the KFC Double Down is for pussies, check out IHOP's Pancake Stackers -- a "crustless cheesecake" sandwiched between two pancakes, topped with artificially flavored fruit compote, and served with eggs, bacon and hash browns. And it contains only 1,250 calories!

I bet the increasingly girthy fast food fans over in Qatar can't wait to try out this barftastic combo.

Speaking of emetic mash-ups, half-spinning/half-yoga classes are popping up all over the place. (Well, New York, anyway.)

But before you bike like crazy, slurp down an ICEE first. As the New York Times reports, "researchers have found they can delay the time to utter exhaustion by getting people a bit chilled" prior to exercise. And apparently:

all you have to do is drink an ice slurry, also known as a slushie, before exercising. In a new study, [it was found] that young male recreational athletes who drank a syrup-flavored ice slurry just before running on a treadmill in hot room could keep going for an average of 50 minutes before they had to stop. When they drank only syrup-flavored cold water, they could run for an average of 40 minutes.

And while we're on the topic of food, we eat too much salt, as this handy (and scary) infographic shows:


Good thing PepsiCo's on the case. Rather than changing the flavor of its overly-processed snacks, PepsiCo's investing time and effort into rejiggering the crystal structure of salt to keep us happily addicted to the company's abhorrent (but tasty!) junk food.

By the way, soda makes you age faster. There's nothin' like being fat and old!

But don't worry: The Wall Street Journal tells its fat cat readers that carrying around an extra ten pounds is no big deal. (Best quote: "And it can make you look younger, too"!)

Lastly, I've been eying the Tough Mudder (which the New York Times just wrote about). But I suspect that -- as with most things that involve barbed wire, flaming hay bales, copious amounts of mud, and two-to-three hours of sustained physical exertion -- I probably won't follow through.

But the Tough Mudder home workout looks pretty decent.

KFC, Krispy Kreme, and Luther Vandross

You know about Luther Burgers, right? They're burgers with glazed donuts in place of the bun. Here on the West Coast, where In-N-Out Burgers are often located within spitting distance of a Krispy Kreme, a cult of Krispy Kreme / In-N-Out Luther Burgers has been spawned. (Added bonus: They're named after Luther Vandross.)

It was only a matter of time before someone decided to cobble together a hybrid KFC Double Down / Krispy Kreme sandwich -- possibly both the best and worst fast food sandwich ever created. Check this out:

(Thanks for the link, Pam!)

I Love Irony

FiveThirtyEight's compared the nutritional damage inflicted by various fast food sandwiches using the KFC Double Down as a yardstick, and it turns out that the only thing worse than the original, fried version of the Double Down is the grilled version of the Double Down:

[N]ot only is the Double Down worse for you than any of the chicken products (Chick-Fil-A's Chargrilled Chicken Club, at 0.91 DDPCs, is the next-worst), but also all of the burgers as well -- even the Triple Baconator (0.98 DDPCs) and the infamous Thickburger (0.92 DDPCs). In fact, the only thing that beats than the Original Recipe Double Down is the supposedly healthier grilled Double Down (1.19 DDPCs), which is almost 20 percent worse for you than the signature version on a per-calorie basis.

Double Down (on Pepto)

Remember this sandwich? It's been eons since I posted about the "Quadruple Down" sandwich, but it looks like yesterday, KFC finally began rolling out the (tamer!) "Double Down" version nationwide. Here's a video from The Consumerist's trip to KFC (along with testers from Consumer Reports) to try out this sodium- and calorie-rich (but low-carb!) gut bomb:



(Source: The Consumerist)

Seriously?

Q: Who eats this shit?

A: The same people who eat THIS shit.