This Exists

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Eating the Kool-Aid

If you're anywhere close to Del Mar, please get to Chicken Charlie's at the San Diego County Fair and tell 'em they need to increase the temperature of their frying oil. That shit ain't bubbling, yo.

And while you're there, order me a deep-fried Girl Scout cookie and/or a deep-fried Krispy Kreme donut & chicken sandwich and FedEx it to my house. Thank you.

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Previously: I Hope That Butter Was Fried in Butter

Can't They Sell Jerky Instead?

And every time you EAT Girl Scout cookies, you're punching YOURSELF in the face. In case you hadn't noticed, even if you're not a Paleo convert, Girl Scout cookies are unequivocally bad for you.

(Source: Underground Wellness / Photo: Buzzfeed)