But then, instead of tossing the gigantic pink box of Type II diabetes into the Williamette River, the doughnut makers started distributing the sugary confections (including their signature "Fruit Loop-crusted" doughnuts) to the crowd.
“I think we must have set another record when we handed out 666 pounds of doughnuts in just 45 minutes,” said [one of the owners]. “It was a good way to give back to the city of Portland, which has been pretty good to us over the years.”
You hear that, Portland? Stop being so awesome, 'cause no good deed goes unpunished.