I still vividly remember these nutrition PSAs that aired on Saturday mornings about 30 years ago. (Yes, I'm an old fart.) But looking back, how do these one-minute cartoons rate in terms of providing valuable information to kids about healthy eating?
Let's take 'em one by one.
1. "NUTRITIOUS DISHES"
According to Timer, kids should "fill a bowl with ice cubes and add raw cauliflower, stuff celery with cheese and let it chill for half an hour, add carrot sticks and olives, and any other knick-knacks, and then keep this by the TV set for when you want those quick snacks." I'm fine with everything except the cheese, the "knick-knacks," and the TV. Also: That snack bowl sounds gross. B-
2. "SUNSHINE ON A STICK"
Popsicles made of juice, lemonade, or "whatever turns you on"? Just friggin' eat an apple. C
3. "MAKE A SATURDAE"
At first glance, this looks awfully similar to the crap that Sandra Lee makes. But hey: It's actually just a bunch of fruit (and an unnecessary dollop of dairy). B+
4. "DON'T DROWN YOUR FOOD"
This one just left me scratching my head. I'm all for not drowning your food in "mayo, salt, ketchup or goop," but what about guacamole, runny egg yolks and ghee, dammit? C-
5. "HANKER FOR A HUNK O' CHEESE"
A "wagon wheel" of cheese sandwiched between crackers?
Okay, that explains it. D
6. "LOVE WON'T MAKE ME OVERWEIGHT"
This is awesome, and a great reminder that there are better ways to show affection for those you love than to stuff 'em full of crap that'll make them sick. "Some love will work wonders without adding weight" indeed. A
7. "NUTTY GRITTY"
Peanuts + raisins = legumes + sugar bombs. But I suppose if you used mac nuts instead, and didn't eat the whole bowl in one sitting, I'd be okay with this. C
8. "EXERCISE THOSE CHOPPERS"
Exercise those choppers "on some good, hard food" like "pumpernickel"?
Still: bonus points for the Fonzie rip-off. B
9. "CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW"
WHAT'S THE OBSESSION WITH CHEWING? (I do, however, like the soulful "sloow foood" at the end.) B
10. "QUICK FAST"
Toast? Peanut butter? Cheese?
Seriously: No time for breakfast? SKIP IT. D-
11. "POTATOES"
Unlike some Paleo fans, I'm not a potato hater, and am a HUGE sweet potato enthusiast. (Of course, if you're looking to lose some flab, potatoes aren't the best thing for you.) But "you gotta eat the skin -- it's so good for you"? Mat Lalonde would disagree. C+
12. "BEANS 'N RICE"
Oh, COME ON. F
