Monday, April 4, 2011

Good Meat is Dead Meat (Not Meat That Was Never Alive)

PETA has announced that it's offering a $1 million reward to "the first scientist to produce and bring to market in vitro meat."

According to PETA, test tube meat would be super-awesome because it'd "mimic flesh and could be cooked and eaten" without hurting any animals. Of course, only the unwashed meat-addicted hordes would need to eat the stuff:
[H]umans don't need to eat meat at all -- vegetarians are less likely to get heart disease, diabetes, or various types of cancer or become obese than meat-eaters are -- and a terrific array of vegetarian mock meats already exist. But as many people continue to refuse to kick their meat addictions, PETA is willing to help them gain access to flesh...
(Wrong, wrong, wrong. But I digress.)

I can't wait to supplement my "terrific array" of Tofurky patties and Quorn chunks with a big, juicy slab of lab-generated, vat-grown, 100% processed "meat." I mean, who could resist a steak that looks this appetizing?

Who's with me?