Years ago, a buddy and I drove in roundabout fashion from Chicago to San Francisco, subsisting almost exclusively on rations of Twizzlers and Pop Tarts (purchased in bulk from the Costco in Schaumburg, Illinois). I'd never tried Pop Tarts before that trip, and haven't had one since, but pangs of nostalgia (and nausea) still hit me when I hear that a Pop Tarts restaurant has opened in Times Square.
The food offerings sound like they were harvested from the fever dreams of sugar-deranged first graders in diabetic shock:
The menu includes the Fluffer Butter, marshmallow spread sandwiched between two Pop-Tarts frosted fudge pastries; the Sticky Cinna Munchies, cinnamon rolls topped with cream-cheese icing and chunks of Pop-Tarts cinnamon-roll variety; and Ants on a Log, which is celery, peanut butter and chunks of the Wild Grape version. And then there’s the Pop-Tarts Sushi, three kinds of Pop-Tarts minced and then wrapped in a fruit roll-up. “We did an internal tasting here at the building, and it was the winner,” said Etienne Patout, senior director at the Pop-Tarts brand, part of the Kellogg Company.Ironically, the Pop Tarts restaurant is located in the heart of the same city that led the push to curtail the use of trans fat and salt, and to force eateries to post calorie counts for customers to review (or, in most cases, ignore).
Wouldn't it be healthier -- and, frankly, less obscene -- to just bring back the porn shops to Times Square?
(Source: NYT, CBS News)
