Sugar in a Bottle

What are the 20 worst drinks you can buy in the U.S.? Men's Health lays it all out:

Worst Water: Snapple Agave Melon Antioxidant Water (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

• 150 calories
• 0 g fat
• 33 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 2 Good Humor Chocolate Éclair Bars

I disagree. The worst water I ever had was during a trip to China, after which extreme (and extremely explosive) gastrointestinal distress ensued.

Worst Bottled Tea: SoBe Green Tea (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

• 240 calories
• 0 g fat
• 61 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 4 slices Sara Lee Cherry Pie

Nobody does it like Sara Lee. Except for SoBe Green Tea.

More after the jump...

  

Worst Energy Drink: Rockstar Energy Drink (1 can, 16 fl oz)

• 280 calories
• 0 g fat
• 62 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 6 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts

A half-dozen Krispy Kremes tend to give me a nice burst of energy. Until I crash.

Worst Bottled Coffee: Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino (1 bottle, 13.7 fl oz)

• 290 calories
• 4.5 g fat (2.5 g saturated)
• 45 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 32 Nilla Wafers

But no one in their right mind would eat 32 dry, bland Nilla Wafers. Unless it's chased down by a Frappucino!

Worst Soda: Sunkist (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

• 320 calories
• 0 g fat
• 84 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 6 Breyers Oreo Ice Cream Sandwiches

Haven't we learned from the Super Big Gulp that the proper serving size is actually 44 fluid ounces?

Worst Beer: Sierra Nevada Bigfoot (1 bottle, 12 fl oz)

• 330 calories
• 0 g fat
• 32.1 g carbohydrates
• 9.6% alcohol
• Carbohydrate Equivalent: 12-pack of Michelob Ultra

True story: That's how Harry from "Harry & the Hendersons" got so fucking huge.

Worst Kids' Drink: Tropicana Tropical Fruit Fury Twister (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)

• 340 calories
• 0 g fat
• 60 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: Two 7-ounce canisters Reddi-Wip

Mmmm. Reddi-Wip.

Worst Functional Beverage: AriZona Rx Energy (1 can, 23 fl oz)

• 345 calories
• 0 g fat
• 83 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 6 Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts

Finally: A legitimate reason to boycott AriZona Beverage Company.

Worst Juice Imposter: AriZona Kiwi Strawberry (1 can, 23 fl oz)

• 345 calories
• 0 g fat
• 81 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 7 bowls of Froot Loops

Strike two, AriZona.

Worst Espresso Drink: Starbucks Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha with Whipped Cream (venti, 20 fl oz)

• 660 calories
• 22 g fat (15 g saturated)
• 95 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 8½ scoops Edy’s Slow Churned Rich and Creamy Coffee Ice Cream

Does this even qualify as an espresso drink when the actual espresso is so thoroughly masked by all this other shit?

Worst Lemonade: Auntie Anne’s Wild Cherry Lemonade Mixer (32 fl oz)

• 470 calories
• 0 g fat
• 110 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 11 bowls of Cookie Crisp cereal

Ah, the transgressive thrill of eating miniature-but-powdery cookie-looking pucks for breakfast.

Worst Hot Chocolate: Starbucks White Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream (venti, 20 fl oz)

• 520 calories
• 16 g fat (11 g saturated)
• 75 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 9 Strawberry Rice Krispie Treats

Wrong on so many levels. White chocolate doesn't even contain any actual chocolate.

Worst Frozen Coffee Drink: Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte (24 fl oz)

• 870 calories
• 24 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)
• 112 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 12 Dunkin’ Donuts Bavarian Kreme Doughnuts

I wonder if the caffeine counteracts the effects of going into diabetic coma.

Worst Margarita: Traditional Red Lobster Lobsterita (24 fl oz)

• 890 calories
• 0 g fat
• 183 g carbohydrates
• Carbohydrate Equivalent: 7 Almond Joy candy bars

WTF? Who orders margaritas at Red Lobster?

Worst Float: Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream Soda (vanilla ice cream and cola) (large, 28.6 fl oz)

• 960 calories
• 40 g fat (25 g saturated, 1.5 g trans)
• 136 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 9.7 Fudgsicle fudge bars

It's not like Baskin-Robbins is a health food purveyor or anything, but this is pretty sick.

Worst Frozen Fruit Drink: Krispy Kreme Lemon Sherbet Chiller (20 fl oz)

• 980 calories
• 40 g fat (36 g saturated)
• 115 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 16 medium-size chocolate eclairs

Though if you're already at Krispy Kreme, you probably don't give a rat's ass.

Worst Frozen Mocha: Così Double Oh! Arctic Mocha (gigante, 23 fl oz)

• 1,210 calories
• 19 g fat (10 g saturated)
• 240 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 41 Oreo Cookies

The "Oh!" is for the sound you make just before vomiting.

Worst Drive-Thru Shake: McDonald’s Triple Thick Chocolate Shake (large, 32 fl oz)
1,160 calories

• 27 g fat (16 g saturated, 2 g trans)
• 168 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 13 McDonald’s Baked Hot Apple Pies

But if you're already at McDonald's, you're probably already indulging in other nutritional horrors.

Worst Smoothie: Smoothie King Peanut Power Plus Grape (large, 40 fl oz)

• 1,498 calories
• 44 g fat (8 g saturated)
• 214 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 20 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Even without the nutrition data, this smoothie sounds incredibly repulsive.

Worst Beverage in America: Cold Stone PB&C (Gotta Have It size, 24 fl oz)

• 2,010 calories
• 131 g fat (68 g saturated)
• 153 g sugars
• Sugar Equivalent: 30 Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

It's awesome that chemical science has figured out a way to cram an entire day's worth of empty calories into a cup.

(Source: Men's Health)