Ah, summer weekends. The perfect time for getting your drink on, right?
Well, maybe not for us Paleo nerds. After all, our prehistoric ancestors never kicked back with a bottle of Colt 45. Cavemen didn’t frequent bars or brew their own IPA.
But then again...this isn’t about historical reenactment. And didn’t I hear someone say something about the benefits of red wine?
I smell a debate, so let’s dive into some of the pros and cons to boozing it up on a Paleo diet.
- The polyphenols in red wine -- and resveratrol in particular -- have been linked to numerous health benefits. (And as Loren Cordain pointed out many moons ago, a couple of glasses of red wine a day won’t make you fat.)
- Stress is pro-inflammatory. In low-to-moderate amounts, alcohol can help reduce stress.
- Plus, beer is awesome for infants (I kid).
- Beer equals liquid grain. As you all know, grains are eeevil. So unless you’re drinking the gluten-free stuff, beer is off-limits for those of us on Team Paleo.
- A bunch of spirits also contain some amount of gluten (even those that are distilled): gin, some vodka, whiskey, bourbon. If you’re gonna partake, stick with tequila, white rum, potato vodka. (Not to be confused with Pringles and Smirnoff.)
- Mixed drinks are often loaded with sugar. Sugar bad.
- If you’re male, alcohol may screw up your sex hormones. Studies show that alcohol metabolism can cause “testicular injury and impair testosterone synthesis and sperm production.” Oh, and “breast enlargement,” too.
- Researchers have linked alcohol consumption to cancer (though the studies appear to be epidemiological in nature).
- Beer goggles.
But if I were you (meaning a person who can’t bear the thought of life without regularly tossing one back)? I guess I’d stick with red wine. Of course, there’ll probably be times when you feel it’s totally worth it to indulge. (Think weddings, Irish wakes, getting dumped, etc.). For those occasions, just remember that a NorCal Margarita or a vodka
Better yet, just abstain and save the money you would've spent on alcohol. College tuition ain't cheap, yo.