Monday, June 27, 2011

How to Take a Kick to the Crotch

How does one survive a sledgehammer kick to the nuts?

Rod Sacharnoski, Creator of Combat Ki: "When I first began taking kicks to the testicles, there was a lot of fear involved. So I started to develop a system where I could get myself to higher levels of accepting the pain and nausea. It takes about five years of good training."

And what does that "good training" require? Lots and lots of kicks to the balls. You know, so you can get used to it.

Science is cool. But:
  • I'm not sure it makes sense to take thousands of kicks to the groin in order to...withstand a kick to the groin.
  • Trust me: You will not be kicked in the testicles with such frequency and force that you must devote five years of your life to prepare for its eventuality. Of course, this assumes that you're not: (1) a belligerent drunk, (2) an MMA fighter, (3) a hand-to-hand combat specialist, (4) a bouncer, (5) a stuntman, (6) a ninja, (7) a total asshole, or (8) a teenage boy. (And if you are all of the above, I salute you, sir.)
  • Even if you are, in fact, highly prone to having a foot lodged in your crotch, it's far cheaper and less painful to BUY AN ATHLETIC CUP. They cost, like, five bucks at Walmart. Even the fanciest ones'll set you back less than $25.
  • Kicking each other in the nuts may look like a pleasant way to pass the time, but don't try this at home, kids. It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle.