I've Never Seen Anyone Work This Hard for a Gift Card

The 2010 CrossFit Games are over -- and they were epic. I watched as many of the events as possible this weekend (which wasn't easy, given that I was supposed to be looking after two small boys); it was difficult to keep my jaw from repeatedly hitting the floor after seeing what the competitors accomplished in less than 48 hours, and in the blazing sun, no less. (Archived video of the Games can be found here.)

Here are the events tackled by the superhuman athletes competing in the Men's and Women's Individual Championships this weekend:

Friday Night:

Event 1 - Muscle-up/Squat Snatch

9-7-5 reps for time of (12-minute cap):

• Ring Muscle-Ups
• Barbell Squat Snatches (135 lbs. for men/95 lbs. for women)

Saturday Morning:

Event 2a - Pyramid Double Helen

For time (22-minute cap):

• Run 1,200 meters
• 63 kettlebell swings (1.5/1 pood)
• 36 pull-ups
• Run 800 meters
• 42 kettlebell swings (1.5/1 pood)
• 24 pull-ups
• Run 400 meters
• 21 kettlebell swings (1.5/1 pood)
• 12 pull-ups

Event 2b (to be completed within 90 seconds of finishing Event 2a) - Max Overhead

• 1 rep max weight Shoulder-to-Overhead Barbell Lift

Saturday Afternoon

Event 3 - Deadlifts/Pistols/Double-Unders

As many rounds as possible in 7 minutes of:

• 7 deadlifts (315/205 lbs.)
• Sprint across court
• 14 pistols
• 21 double-unders
• Sprint back

Saturday Night

Event 4 - Sandbag Move

• For time: Scale a stadium wall. Then move (600/370 lbs.) of sandbags down a set of stadium stairs, across the stadium floor, up the opposite wall, and up the opposite stairs.

Sunday Morning

Event 5 - Clean/Ring Handstand Push-Ups

7 rounds for time (12-minute cap):

• 3 barbell cleans (205/135 lbs.)
• 4 ring handstand push-ups (men)/4 handstand push-ups (women)

Sunday Afternoon:

Event 6a - Push-ups/Over the Wall/Overhead Squats

3 rounds for time (7-minute cap):

• 30 push-ups with hand release
• Climb over a 12-foot wall using a rope
• 21 overhead squats (95/65 lbs.)
• Climb back over the wall

Event 6b - Toe to Bar/Ground to Overhead

• 3 rounds for time (7-minute cap):
• 30 toes-to-bar
• 21 ground to overhead barbell lifts (95/65 lbs.)

Event 6c - Wall Burpees/Rope Climbs

3 rounds for time (12-minute cap):

• 5 burpee wall jumps (instead of just jumping up between push-ups, competitors climb over a 6-foot-high wall)
• 3 20-foot rope climbs (men)/2 20-foot rope climbs (women)

I think you'll all agree with me when I say HOLYFUCKINGSHIT.

The craziest thing of all may be the fact that the competitors clearly aren't in this for the money. While the top finisher in the Men's and Women's groups are each crowned the "World's Fittest" and receive $25,000, the second and third place finishers receive...drum roll, please...

Under Armour gift cards.

Yay?